Glazed-Over Donut

This year is off to a weird start.  First, I can't believe we're already three days into it already... it still feels like New Year's Day.  While everybody is back to work today, I just am.  I feel like I'm in a haze of some sort.  If I'm being honest, my motivation level right now is in the single digits.  The piss and vinegar that I was full of New Year's Eve has been replaced with a very bland, warm table wine... heavy and thick.  A few things happened in the last couple of days... nothing major... just enough to bring on the dulldrums.

It's a strange thing with motivation...  There's a disconnect between what we think we want to do and what actually happens.  I guess there are lot of things that can get in the way of progress.  I suppose I should be lucky to even have the motivation in my mind to think about doing stuff or making changes... if I can just get myself moving to do it, that's a different bird altogether.  It's a good thing that we're not all motivated... we'd be bouncing into each other in our fits of energy, and it's a good thing that those sort of people go to the parks and the gyms and such and stay out of our way in front of the donut shop... the buffet... my couch.  The last thing you want is some giddy tart holding you back from doing nothing.

The major crux of my resolution was supposed to be the South Beach Diet and hitting the gym.  The last couple of days, I've been in situations where I've done lunch or dinners (or both) with a 'last supper' mentality, thinking that since I'm starting my diet tomorrow, I better enjoy this meal today as an homage to my previous 'fat-girl' life thought process.  That was three days ago... and gaining momentum (and weight).  I did manage to eat every baked good, cookie and candy item in my house in preparation for not having them around to tempt me... and I even picked up a few more at the store yesterday when I ran out, just to be extra sure.  To make matters worse, the creme brulee candle that Robin got me... the cinnamon apple air freshener in my room... and the candy apple hand soap is making me want to run around my room with my tongue out licking the air and my fingers.  I suck.