The warmth of cutting steel across your being...Out of sight, the band-aid lifts revealing what was thought healed. After the surface is scratched, the wound suprisingly begins to bleed once more, first at a trickle, then gushing. Care and remedy need repeated as the trauma is vividly remembered while pressure applies to control the bleeding from disruption or destruction.
At incision, the cause slipped from hand and fell, and the pain of the cutting was sharp and an end wanted... now, it's realized as deep and desireable. The gift of feeling something is now feared lost forever, replaced with a useless control, emptiness, scar... and wound that may never stop bleeding.
Drenched in blood, the blade went from warm and comforting to chilled and you weep at the loss and change.
(Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with depression or suicide, btw... what do you think it's about?)
Being a Strong Gemini thou it will be a learning tool and set the foundation for the future!
ReplyDeleteCircumcision
ReplyDeletewell its not a poem about the frivolity of sex and the city is it?
ReplyDeleteIts about a love that you lost and thought that you had processed and moved on from... but something awakens the love that you once had... the person is out of your grasp. You're surprised that you still feel this way after all this time, as the whole situation runs through your mind from the beginning, as you try to gain composure. At the time of the breakup, you let the person go and you just wanted it to end so you could move away from the hurt... but now you realize that the love was true and deep and real... and not only did you lose that person, but you may never feel that way again with anyone. You ended it to gain control back, but now you're empty and marred... and you may never get over it. Overcome with sorrow and grief, all you can do is cry that it's over and possibly because you'd rather feel hurt than nothing at all.
ReplyDeleteIt is wonderful as everything you write David. And you have made someone very happy ;o) Have a wonderful weekend handsome. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI am really glad you posted this explanation, I really thought of suicide in the first moment. I'm really sorry this happened to you David.
ReplyDeleteI know...
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!
ReplyDeleteThis David, is called LOVE. It is true and deep and real. More real then you may ever believe. If your heart is empty, your mind doesn't matter. I don't have all the answers but to be honest, in life I've failed as much as I've succeeded. Whatever has awakened you, do what you see fit to grasp on to it and never let go. For being empty and marred is no way to live. Your punishing yourself when the one thing you want is standing right in front of your eyes. Your the only one who can say that it's over. It sound slike the balls in your court. Silence is death;
ReplyDelete