Great Day To Bang Your Head Off a Rock

This morning, we (from left to right:  George, me, John, Scott, Matt and Kyle) all met and ventured out to Ohiopyle State Park.  Located on the Youghegeny River about an hour and a half southwest of Pittsburgh near the Maryland border (Near Fallingwater), it offers various white-water rafting excursions in a small town Pennsylvania atmosphere. Six of us went and we opted for the middle Yough, which is mainly just calm flowing water, probably no deeper than 5 feet in any given spot, but more like 1-2 feet deep throughout.  It provides some level one rapids and tons of boulders in the river path that you try to avoid... 'avoid' being the key word. 

We split up into two rafts, one with 4 of us in it, and another with just 2... both offering their own challenges of maneuverability.  It was a clear, warm, sunny day... not too humid... but just hot enough that the freezing cold water splashing up on you... or when you steer the raft right into a big rock and several passengers go flying out into the river, banging into rocks and floating hundreds of feet before you get yourself stopped... the water feels refreshing at that point.  And that's just what happened... many times.  First, Scott and Matt's 2 seater rammed into us as we were hung up on a rock and then they toppled over and got banged up pretty badly... I fell overboard once... and then 100 feet from the end of the trip, the big raft got stuck in an area that they shouldn't have been going in and threw two more people out.  Difficult to stand up in the rushing water alone... getting the raft unstuck and getting back in is more of the challenge.  All-in-all, it was a great day... taking us about 4 hours to float 9 miles down stream.

Afterwards, we had a nice beer and some food at a local restaurant before heading back home... most of us falling asleep in the car on the way.  I'm wiped out... it's a lot of rowing and sun beating down on you.  We want to go back and do the more treacherous rapids... but I don't know if I'll do them... I can bang my head off of rocks at home for free.

Mixed Bag of Tricks

After posting the other day about getting back to the gym, I basically sat down on the bed and proceeded to watch some taped progrums on my DVR all day long, paralyzed... not being able to find the energy or desire to get up.  It's hard getting motivated to make the steps toward the door to get there for the first time.  Fortunately, that only lasted a day and I got into the gym for a light, but 1.5 hour workout yesterday.  I was surprised to find out that my body fat percentage went down even more... from 16 % to 14.5 %.  What's shocking is that I haven't been doing any weightlifting or spinning since some time in April (there was dust on my membership card).  I guess working at landscaping did it... but, further, I really can't believe it since I haven't really been watching that closely what I've been eating.  Regardless, it is what it is... I'm hurting today but it felt good to get over the hurdle.

Today, I'm going with John to meet his sister for the first time.  She seems really nice... and we're hoping that by meeting her, it will squelch his Mom's concern about her not understanding "what someone my age would see in her son".  How about how he's compassionate... or artistic... or funny... or creative... or caring... or moralistic... or... the list goes on.  Taking into consideration that he's the baby of the family... he's been out for some time now but she only recently was 'informed'... and she seems overly protective... I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but it's been a little disheartening to hear this nonetheless.  Not only does it imply that I'm some sort of pervert for loving a younger guy... but it kind of puts things in a defensive situation right off the bat.  Parents usually love me because I'm stable, sensible, hard-working and well-rounded... so hopefully once I meet her, she'll have a change of heart.  Anyway, no sense belaboring it... I'm sure it'll be fine.

I was supposed to be heading to Philly for that class today... and then spending the rest of the week in Philly and then Rehoboth to hang out with friends, but I decided not to go.  I'm working on a deck job that I hope to start early next week... and I just don't think it's a good time, especially coming off a period of work followed by a week of being gone.  I feel like I haven't stopped moving in forever.  I'm trying to get caught up on things I've been putting off for months.

Tonight, we're heading to the Blue Moon to hang out with some friends.  The concert the other night was our first public outing... and this will be our first 'going out' together in the 'scene'.  While I hate going out while I'm in a relationship, it's really the only place where you can validate your relationship with public recognition and physical contact to 'mark your territory'.  Saturday morning, a bunch of us are going rafting at Ohiopyle State Park... and Sunday, we're off to Kennywood, the local amusement park, with his work group for their summer picnic.  I'm really happy at how our lives are meshing... and how great we're getting along.  I never could have imagined this a month ago.

The Age of Music

Last night, John and I went to see the Goo Goo Dolls, opened by Michelle Branch and a band called Parachute.  It always amazes me how many songs I'm familiar with that I either don't know the name of the song or who sings it.  Having somewhat of a background in music (at least singing in choir and playing piano), I tend to listen to the music and harmonies rather than the words.  Even songs that I know the words to, often times I don't even know what the song is about.  To me, I feel the music and that tells me what it's about... at least in my interpretation.  A seemingly happy song can strike a chord with me in a somber way and it skews the meaning for me.  Vulnerability and emotion seems to be the underlying attractions to a particular song.

The concert was great... and there was a laid back vibe to it, fortunately.  I had some anxiety about how it would play out... would I have to jump in some mosh pit and get my outfit dirty... or perhaps wear my hoodie while it's 85 degrees out and be sweating next to kids named Jacob, Josh and Jared?  I didn't have to do any of that, which was good.. and we had a great time.  John and I have been laying around listening to music here and there, and it's easy to see that we have different tastes.  Our age difference accounts for a good deal of that, but my varied tastes in classical, opera, broadway, lounge, big band, country, foreign and some other odd things makes up for the rest.  Not to age myself, but with some of his music, there's a lot going on... and it tends to scramble my head... I still loves me some Godsmack once in a while, but only in moderation.  I used to be able to sort out background noise, but now it seems as though I can't talk on the phone with the radio or TV on in the same room... or talk on the phone when someone is talking on theirs in the same car.  I can't concentrate on the words or the music, and it just comes at me. 

I love being exposed to new things so I look forward to listening to more that he likes.  If I had to come up with my explanation of today's music, I'd have to say it's coffee house with a shot of Red Bull.  I picture hipsters with beany hats and hoodies and eye-liner with an energy drink and iPhone in hand, twisting and turning at some rave in their skinny jeans...

OMG... LMAO... WTF?  I am old.

Bass-Ackwards

So, fresh off my recent melt-down, I'm trying to spring-board out of it with some renewed energy for things that I let go or ignored over the last couple of months.  With working so hard there for those 3.5 months of landscaping and the vacation, it seems as though I've been running non-stop for months... and now, I'm a little lackadaisical, to say the least.  I blame some of it on the heat... but that's all it really is... unsubstantiated, deflected blame.  I got lazy... plain and simple.  They say (who exactly is 'they' anyway and, boy, they chime in about everything, don't they?), 'if you want something done, give it to a busy person'... and if you want something to be put in a pile until after I get done watching my progrums, and then we'll see about it... well, that would be me lately.

Throughout history, people have been using forms of public humiliation, some cruel and unusual, as a way of reform.  This usually involved different methods to induce shame through 'mob justice', such as being locked in shackles or a pillory, the chair of shame... the 'dunce' hat... several badges of shame and various other types, usually in the center of town for all to see and mock.  For this application, we'll just use my blog. 
From January through March, I was doing so well with my eating right and working out.  As a necessity (to be able to have energy to work), I had to increase my calorie intake, and it usually wasn't the best for me.  Time also played a part, since when I was working, I could only grab things on the run.  On the days where it rained, my old friends, guilt and stress, made sure that I ate shitty as well... (see the Sponge-Cake-a-Day Diet).

So here I am, coming from it at a different angle this time.. ass-backwards.  Instead of fat to lean like last time, it's lean to fat to lean again... and it's not so easy getting started.  I've done some push ups and things here and there, but I haven't been back into my routine in months.  Originally starting at 194lbs and 21% body fat, I had that down to 165lbs and 16%... and now, while I only weigh 171lbs, I'm sure that my fat % has increased and my muscle mass has decreased.  My tone is gone, other than my bitchy, sarcastic one.

I'm an all-or-nothing type person... so I need to get crazy about it again.  I need to get John on-board since I'm the poster child for 'fat and happy'... it's definitely harder in a relationship, unless the other person is beating you about the head and neck to get to the gym.  Unconditional love and acceptance is great for the heart, but bad for the belly.

A Beautiful Day for a Drive

It's a sunny day... not a cloud in the sky... I took a look at the map and did the research to plan the trip.  I'm excited about the destination... somewhere I've always wanted to go.  I filled up the tank, washed the windows and put aside a few of my favorite CD's.  I'm ready to go...

I haven't been on this road in some time.  I start out in familiar surroundings and soon, there are some parts of it that I don't remember.  I get a little anxious and think about turning back.  I look out the side window and the foliage is beautiful and the vistas are spectacular.  I look in the rear-view mirror and swerve off the road a bit but regain my path.  With the twists and turns in the road, I can't see too far ahead of me and that makes me more anxious.  Press on... turn around... or maybe pull over to get my bearings?  A combination of looking forward, around me in my present position and behind me will keep me on the road.

Being rather direct in nature, It's funny how when I write (especially 'poems'), I write between the lines.  If you haven't figured it out, the trip I'm talking about is the journey that I'm currently on... taking the results of my hard work and applying the knowledge to my life and new relationship.  My first instict was to pull over to get my bearings, and that's what I did by making the decision to stop blogging, but that's not me.  I've always been the type to ask for directions, but only follow until the first turn... thinking that I'll ask again at that point.  Who knows, I may change my mind... or I may actually want to get lost for a while... sometimes going off the popular path is where all the fun is... or you learn something unexpected.

It was only a matter of hours after I declared stopping that I instinctively wanted to write, with several things popping into my head.  I received some wonderful comments, talked to a bunch of my friends and John, and I felt good about what I had accomplished over the last 2.5 years.  I was surprised at the amount of people that read it daily, especially since the same 6 or 7 people are the only ones that comment.  My blog has transformed several times.  It's coincidental how the header pictures usually connect with not only the seasons of the year, but my mood as well... is that my subconscience at work?

I'm going to continue to blog... it's become a part of me that I can't easily let go of... and it's still therapeutic for me.  You, my friends and John all support me in it... and I thank you for that.  Don't be afraid to leave a comment.

Getting Back to the Future

I've never been an overly patient person, at least when it comes to waiting.  When I was in my early twenties, I was hard-pressed to climb the corporate ladder and it couldn't happen fast enough.  I was always looking to some future time where I'd have what I wanted, over-flowing with goals and ambition.  In my late twenties and early thirties, I was in relationships and was enjoying my life in the present with my partner.  In my late thirties, all hell broke loose and I was forced to take a long look at all aspects of my life and make some major changes.  With the spiraling depression and hard times in my early forties, I began to delve into my past and work through some issues, and so the therapeutic outlet, this blog, was born.

On January 27th, 2009, I wrote my first blog post ( Land Rage ), declaring the purpose of this blog as a way to vent my frustrations.  Over the years, it went from that, to entertaining people, to working through some hard issues to chronicling my daily life.  Incarnated as "Trouble in my Bubble" (realizing my problems in my life) to "Ruminations of my own Vacuity" (taking a look at the emptiness inside) to "Another Mile Marker" (making strides of progress).  I've touched upon my religious beliefs, being gay, being adopted, family issues including dealing with my elderly father, addict brother and nephew, the death of my mother, sexual preferences and issues, moral beliefs, political views, depression and suicide, financial ruin, running my businesses, body issues, relationships and a slew of other topics everywhere in between... and my process to learn and grow from them.

Writing became a way to express myself, get things out in the open to face them and think aloud so that I could work through the issues, learn from them and move the fuck on.  Although very cathartic, it posed some problems as well.  There were a couple of haters and a stalker... my life was under constant scrutiny from strangers, there was pressure to post and pressure to entertain and my original objective of saying what I wanted without recourse weaned as I had to think about who my reader was going to be and how they'd react.  At times, I felt like I needed another anothermilemarker that no one knew about to get back to the root of my purpose.  Having every detail of who you are posted on the Internet posed it's own problems when it came to dating, since once spilling my guts about who I am in the blog made it difficult to have to explain it all again to a new person... and I'd wind up saying 'it's in the blog'.  I've always been the kind of person that, if I was mad at you, I'd sit down and take three hours to write the perfect letter, then I usually wouldn't send it because I felt better... so, lastly, this purging and cleansing process has made me feel a little empty as a person.  It's kind of like having book for sale and someone tore the guts out of it and nailed it to the bulletin board.  Who I am is now this blog.  That became apparent to me yesterday when I reached out to my half-sister for the first time in two years and when she asked me what I've been up to... I couldn't think of anything.  My first instinct was to say 'it's in the blog'.

After working through the issues, I'm now able to apply what I've learned in my new relationship with John.  For the first time in many many years, I am looking ahead to the future.  To be able to do that, I need to let go of the past and, to some degree, the present.  Analyzing my every move and thought at this point seems to be holding me back.  It's become drudgery trying to come up with things to talk about.  I've become complacent in my ambitions... and apathetic in my causes living only for today, with a foot in the past.  It's time to move forward... and so, I have decided to stop blogging for an undetermined time period.

I've made so many friends over the last couple of years... the support has been astounding, sometimes more than that in my circle of friends.  I have learned so much from so many people and received countless words of wisdom that helped shape who I am.  I enjoy writing... and some say that I am good at it... so perhaps I will try another writing avenue... but, for now, I'm going to hang up my writing hat and live my life for the future.

Feeling overcommunicated sometimes, I'm going to limit my online communications to Facebook, and those that wish to stay in touch with me may do so by adding me ( Friend Me On Facebook ), or through my email address, pittguy2008@comcast.net.  Although I have gotten out of touch with a lot of the blogs that I was reading, I'll continue to do so.  I believe there is a way to download the contents of my blog, so I'm looking into that, as I don't want to lose my 2.5 year online journal... and I will be leaving my blog up... and will make periodic entries so that it doesn't get deleted. I'm most proud of my earlier writing, especially that of my family... it can be pretty funny/sarcastic... and the earlier times were more entertaining.  For those who have met me in the more recent surge of followers over the last 6 or 7 months, I invite you to go back through and browse some of those earlier posts.

A special thanks to my friend, Matt, for encouraging me to blog to begin with.... John at Going Gently for being my oldest and most consistent reader... and my friend, Robin at Life In Queue... for being the biggest supporter of my writing, biggest fan... and the only person that I know that went back, started from the beginning, and read every post... and John, who is learning to love me exactly as I am... crazy and all.

Thank you so much for your input... your support... your interest... your kind words and your love... and for sharing this bumpy ride of a journey.

D@vid

In the Heat of the Night

It was a muggy-ass week here in the 'burgh.  Temperatures got well into the 90's, which means in the 100's with the heat index/humidity.  It was a real bitch getting my work done at the hotel... I had to split up the 5 hours (with nothing growing) into two days so I wouldn't get heat stroke.  After working so many hours over the last couple of months, it's funny... I've completely shut down, having a hard time getting motivated to do anything, again, mostly due to the heat.  Hopefully, it cools down a bit... and fortunately, my poor plants and flowers had some rain over the last couple of days.  Still, there's been no reprieve... it seems like car's and establishment's air conditioners can't keep up.

Last night was another Blue Moon night.... John, Julie, Robin, Courtney, Missy, Kelly and Sweet Trav came to the bar and hung out, so it passed the time quickly.  I'm off tonight... and the next two weekends, one because I was supposed to be at that class (and now we're having a big night out Friday night and a Kennywood day on Sunday)... and the first week of August, I'll be in Philly and Rehoboth hanging out with my friends.

Life's Lesson Plan Isn't Written In Pen

It's only been in the last couple years that I have opened up more about my hang-ups and have worked on them. Issues with sex, relationships and my body have all been worked through, mainly through my blog but, oddly, even having worked through them, I seem to return to my basic morals, standards and ideals. I guess I've laxed a bit and I'm not so uptight, but I genuinely believe what I believe and basically stick to it. It's the way I was raised and what I feel is right.

Last Fall and the previous December, I took the Celebrating The Body Erotic workshop presented by The Body Electric School  (See Workshop Synopsis Video) ... and my posts from the (First Day of Class) and (Second Day of Class).  The ways this class changed me are profound... mainly in opening up, trusting, receiving, confidence and body and self approval.  I am definitely a different person.  With my plan of growth and looking inward, I signed up for the second class in the series, over the weekend of July 30th.  I had some apprehension with the subject matter... the first class focusing on erotic energy in the frontal region... this class focused on exploration around the bend, if you get my drift.  Being a 'dominant' person, I have had little experience with this topic both out of physical uncomfortableness... and control/mind issues.  However, being a Gemini... and always looking for ways to challenge myself... and to grow in any way I can, I thought that it might be time to look into... after all, I could be missing something.  Granted, I've faired well all these years just as I am...

When I'm with someone, I believe that my body is theirs.  Being a strict monogamist, I would never touch anyone or want to be touched... and my beliefs go as far as even showing my body beyond my relationship.  It's like night and day when I am dating someone... and I am 110% fine with that.  So, needless to say, after meeting John, I started to feel anxious about the upcoming class that I literally signed up for the day before I met him.  First of all, we haven't even explored each other... and here I'd be in a situation with strangers first, and taking into consideration the beliefs I stated, I feel that it would be cheating, even though the workshop isn't set up as a sexual outlet and that's not my purpose for attending.  As my anxiety grew, I felt I had to talk to John about it.

In the short time that we've been together, it almost doesn't make sense that I'd consider his input, but this relationship means a great deal to me already.  I'm falling in love with this guy... and what he thinks matters to me.  So I showed him the video and tried to explain the first class and what this one entailed and I watched as the color left his face and we had to take a break from the conversation.  Some of it was due to his being younger... some of it his lack of experience... some of it may have been his own issues of acceptance... but the crux of it was because he genuinely liked me, which I thought was the adult way to react.  He also said that it was my decision and he didn't want me to regret anything.  Had he looked at it as something disgusting or something sexual or with jealousy, I may have questioned the whole situation, including pursuing a relationship further.  Instead, taking my first intuition, believing in what we're working towards... and making a decision with my heart instead of my head, I decided to cancel the class.  It simply wasn't the right time.

I don't know when the right time will be, perhaps if at all.  My friend Robin made some good points... first, that I have the ability to make a decision quickly and I rarely regret that decision and should go with my gut... secondly, that class is going to be there, whereas the chance at this relationship will not be.  Lastly, she reminded me how special this connection is that we have and the fact that I was thinking emotionally rather than logically is growth in and of itself. 

When fate throws two people together, you have to ask yourself 'why?'.  What's the lesson to be learned from this person?  This is hopefully the first of many.

Diverted (iculitis)

Yesterday morning, I was literally walking out the door to go get the remaining grass cut before it got too hot when my Aunt Dolores called and needed me to take her to the emergency room.  A little while back, I took her for her colonoscopy... and her Diverticulitis has been acting up ever since, giving her strong stomach pains.  After x-rays and CAT scans, the diagnosis was that she shouldn't have done as much as she's been doing and should have been resting more.  7 hours later, I finally got back home...

I'm glad that I can be there for her though.  She doesn't have any kids... and she's my Godmother... so technically, after my Mom died, she's been like a Mom to me.  Oddly, I don't have keys to her house... I don't know much about her arrangements... and, if anything, this trip sparked a conversation on getting me up to speed on that sort of thing, since I am (and will be) the one she calls for help.  Her brother-in-law, Lee, has trouble walking and is taking care of his wife, Helen (my Aunt's sister, who has Alzheimers) that he can't do much... and I wind up doing a lot for him as well.  Helen runs him ragged with asking the same questions over and over... escaping out of the house and ending up at the neighbor's house... or he'll find her down in the garage, sitting in the car.  It's a full-time job keeping an eye on her.  It's cute how they all help each other out though... they go to lunch together, then they come over my Aunt's for dinner and then their evening chat out in the driveway.

I wonder if I'll have a 'David' when I'm older?  When it comes to getting older, I don't have a fear of dying as much as I have a fear of living.  I look at them, each with their own problems and think that it would be so much better to cut out before anything happens.  I'm not good at letting people help me... what would become of me?  And then I think that, despite their problems... supporting and helping and loving each other and the quality of their life looks pretty good.  They're a family... they're my family.

It's Groundhog Day.... let's try this again... I'm off to cut grass before it gets too hot.  I can't take the heat as much as I could when I was... younger.

Phoenix (Dust) Rises Again

Another dust storm enveloped Phoenix last night... no one can blame me this time... I wasn't anywhere near there!

It's official... as per my Facebook page (which, as we all know, is the social bible)... John and I are starting a relationship.  We've seen quite a bit of each other over the last week or so... and I've been really happy.  Although only a short amount of time, between fate and how things have just fallen into place, I haven't felt like anyone would fit in my life for a long time.  I find myself looking forward to the future... something I also haven't done in a long time.

I had planned on starting to cut grass by now... but my Aunt called me a bit ago and I'll have to take her to the hospital this morning.  She has Diverticulitis... and it's acting up and she's in pain... my day turns on a dime.  One minute single and cutting grass... the next, falling in love and at the hospital.

Dog Days of Summer

I got a late start to cutting grass this morning and boy, was I sorry I did.  Although it's 92 degrees outside, the humidity must be 100%, because it's miserable.  Sadly for the plants and grass, we've been in a drought period and it doesn't look like it's going to be any better this week.  Fortunately for me, when it's like this and the grass doesn't grow, I don't have as much to cut.  I spent most of the morning filling up 5 gallon buckets watering and fertilizing the flowers, plants and bushes... especially those not near a sprinkler system.  The hotel's sprinkler system is antiquated so it doesn't do a good job or areas aren't watered at all.  I tried to be smart about planting this year, but still... with the drought and sun beating down all day long, it doesn't matter.  Everything dries up and dies.  I have a bid for changing the sprinkler system, but the company requires three bids and we're having trouble getting two more... so everything dies in corporate red tape.

I guess the Romans equated the heat of the summer with the star, Sirius... considering it to be the 'dog star' since it's the brightest in the constellation Canis Major (Large Dog)... and that the star's close proximity to the sun from early July through early September was responsible for the hot weather.

I heard a locust today while working.  They're pretty nasty look at, but always reminded me of summer... playing outside until dark... catching lightning bugs in a jar... night swims in my aunt's pool... playing baseball in our yard with the neighbor kids... and playing hide and seek at dusk, which I wouldn't recommend.  One time, I was running through the yards to hide and ran right into a barbed-wire fence.  It hit across my eye and cut my eyelid open and I had to get stitches.  Fortunately, I didn't get stabbed in my eye with the barbed part or I wouldn't be able to see out of that eye probably.  Oh, the crazy things that you get into as a child.

I have to go back tomorrow morning to get a few things done, but I'm going at the crack of dawn.  This heat is for the birds... or the dogs... and even they are smart enough to jump in a sprinkler or lie under a tree.

YUM !! (Jumping For Joy)

Head In The Cloud (9)

Where are my beautiful vistas?  Where's the ding-dinging of slot machines?  Where's the friggin' mint on my pillow?  I went from exploring the trails of our forefathers to trail mix, back working at the bar last night.

I've been missing in action since I got back.  Partly due to getting back in the swing of things in reality world... getting caught up at the Marriott... dealing with some family stuff... getting back to it at the bar.. but there's been another reason that I've been MIA.  A boy.  Whether you believe in fate, kismet or horoscopes (this was mine this week in the pic), you can't argue with life throwing you a very strange connection, which poses the question:  Do things happen for a reason (and what is that reason)?

After a hard end to my relationship with Jesse, I haven't had much luck since then with guys.  The world has changed... the game has changed... I've changed... and what I need has changed.  Or has it?  Am I still the same person with the same ideals and values and standards or have I lowered them to be in the game?  I don't want to have to change or settle, and while it looked grim that I'd have to or be by myself... life threw me an unexpected curve.


While I was in Vegas, I stopped in at a bar that I used to hang out at to see Paul and Michael, friends of mine from the olden days.  I noticed a guy a few feet from me glancing my way, and when Paul left an hour later to go home, he approached me and asked me where I was from.  When I replied 'Pittsburgh', he about fell off his seat since he is also from here... in fact, he lives 10 minutes from me.  After chatting a while, we (he, his friend, George... and me) left to go see 'Old Vegas' and we had a great time.  I left the next morning to drive back to Phoenix and didn't really expect too much to come from it, but I was wrong.

John and I have been hanging out quite a bit this week since he returned home.  We've had some great communication and have been getting to know each other.  Besides interests, we have so much in common when it comes to our personalities, quirks and traits... and things that were problems in past relationships suddenly mesh beautifully with us.  He's funny, caring, artistic, smart, innocent and has great morals... not to mention he's cute as a button.

Why did this happen?  What did I do to deserve something so good?  And at a time when I didn't think that I could feel things that I haven't felt in years, where is this coming from?  Have I done the work on myself necessary to get another chance at love?  Was that all preparation for something better?  All I have to say is 'who cares'... I'm ready to believe... that I deserve it... that it's worth it... and that it could be just that... love.  While too early to tell.. and with us not rushing into things, my head is in the clouds... and the view is wonderful!!

Sunrise

This is a re-print of a poem that I wrote... I wanted to put a link to it, and couldn't find it through my postings.  For other poems I have written, see "Artistical Shit (Mine and Others) down the right-hand column.

Home Sweet Home

I was glad to go... but I'm glad to be back home again.  Here's the map from my journey... the route that I took is highlighted in orange, starting and ending in Phoenix and deliberate stops or overnight stays are circled in orange.  Some roads were backtracked on.  Altogether, a little over 1,200 miles... which is the equivalent of driving from New York City to Miami!!

Whirlwind of Excitement

After the last 6 days of non-stop movement and exploring, I had visions of making the 3-4 hour trip back to Phoenix from Vegas and crashing by the pool... something I haven't done at all this trip.  That hope was quickly dashed when my wanderlust got the best of me miles outside of Vegas.

Out in the middle of nowhere is Lake Havasu... a desert oasis that has an odd claim-to-fame:  It's home to the London Bridge.  After the bridge could no longer structurally support the increased traffic, it was numbered and dismantled and bought by Robert McCulloch, founder of Lake Havasu and Chairman of the McCulloch Oil Corporation, as a way to bring attention to his fledgling retirement community.  It was put back together as a facade overtop a bridge structure, the area underneath it was dredged and flooded and now it connects the city area with Pittsburgh Point, a peninsula that jutted out from the shoreline.  Unlike London, however, it was 110 degrees out in the middle of the desert.

I continued along the journey that I took to head back to Pittsburgh when Vegas went bust.  I was reminded of, as I passed, the area where, driving the U-Haul packed with my stuff towing my car, I got a phone call for a job finally.  I remember pulling over and thinking about whether or not to turn around, unpack and stay in Vegas.  I will never know if I made the right decision or not.  Being back out there made me wish I had, but when I think of my life now, I feel like I made the right one after all.

I didn't turn the radio on the whole trip back.  It was so nice to reflect on the trip and clear my head.  The 7 days went by so quickly, but at the same time, the first day seems like a month ago.  I've experienced so much over the last week, it's crazy.  As I was thinking about all of that, I looked off into the distance and saw a whirlwind... a weather phenomenon where a vortex of wind forms due to instabilities and created by heat and flow (i.e.:  a tornado)... was forming off in the distance coming right for the highway.  It's a pretty common occurance in the flat desert, but this one seemed to be bigger than the others I passed along the way... it's almost as if Mother Nature wasn't done with me.  Between the dust storm, the oppressive heat and the monsoons... she had a score to settle and the bitch was still coming after me.

After over 6 hours in the car, I finally got into Phoenix and went to my hotel, dropped off everything and decided 'what the hell'... I was going to go get a glimpse of Taliesin West, the famous Frank Lloyd Wright winter home, office and school.  I figured I'd have to climb up some mountainside to catch a glimpse, but they were actually still open, and I lucked into getting a spot in the two-hour tour starting in 30 minutes.  Living so close to Fallingwater, his most famous piece, I've been a fan of his architecture ever since I can remember, and my mission style phase of furniture and decoration was attributed solely to his influence.  The perfect balance between form and function in conjunction with it's environment, every detail is thought out in his work.  I've seen a few other architectural pieces as well over the years, but this was his center-piece.  Situated on 650 acres in Scottsdale, he originally bought this property after having pneumonia, at the recommendation of his doctor.  Although he has passed away, his philosophies are still being taught there as it functions as an accredited architectural school, as well as a private residence.  I can't even begin to tell you what a gift this was to wrap up my trip seeing this.

Over 1200 miles traveled... seven days... three states.... several national parks and forests... Phoenix (Taliesin), Flagstaff, Sedona, Grand Canyon (plus the helicopter ride), the Hoover Dam, Vegas and Lake Havasu and everywhere in between.... seeing old friends (Paul and Michael) and making new ones (Michael (Spo), Pierre, John and George)... seeking closure on my past... and overcoming some weather issues (you can fool Mother Nature afterall)...this trip has been phenomenal.  I am definitely in my element wandering about... exploring, pondering and feeding my free spirit in the warm embrace of the desert.  I'll never be the same.

I fly back home tomorrow morning.

Friends, Old and New

I didn't do a post yesterday because I really didn't do much.  I putzed around all day browsing through stores and walking on the Strip a little bit... doing the touristy thing.  It's been a fairly physical trip and I just wasn't in the mood for expending energy in an earthy-crunchy kind of way.

Last night, I went back to the country-western bar and saw my friend Michael again, with whom I ran into there the night before, since he now manages the bar (whereas he was just working a few days a week when I first knew him).  When I lived here, we became really good friends.... he's such a sweet guy.  In fact, he's the one that took me on my first helicopter ride at the Grand Canyon.  It was great reconnecting with him... and Paul and I hung out all night again as well... both quality people. 

While standing there, a guy next to me (John) asked me where I was from... and when I told him Pittsburgh, he about fell off his seat... because he and his friend, George, are from Pittsburgh... he actually lives ten minutes from me, if that.  We talked the whole night... and I took them to the 'Welcome to Las Vegas' sign and the Fremont Experience in old downtown Las Vegas.  Here, they've revitalized the original Vegas... where all the Rat Pack hung out in the older casinos.  As they've demolished hotels over the years, they've salvaged the neon signs from the casinos and have them on display.  It's probably my favorite thing in Vegas... since I love anything retro.  We had a really great time... and I'm looking forward to getting to know him more back home.  So odd that we had to travel thousands of miles to meet, when we live so close to each other.  Makes you think about how small the world is... and how your path crosses with others, possibly for a reason.  It was a perfect way to wrap up Vegas.

I'm packing up and getting on the road in a few minutes.  I have a 4.5 hour drive through no-man's land back to Phoenix, where I'm staying overnight, then flying back home tomorrow morning. 

John

Paul

My favorite saved neon sign in downtown, Las Vegas