Magic Shrooms...

The things you find at the dollar store...

The Great Wall....

I was exhausted after doing this little bit. I don't know how the little China mens did that huge wall... I would have had my Union rep on speed-dial, don't you just worry about that.

All About Me Mondays...

Some of the things about me that have appeared in my blog have been things that even my closest-est friends were not aware of, so I will be doing "All about me, Mondays" with just some quick tidbits... As far as this picture goes, I am the one on the left... the one on the right is my brother, Dan. Guess his 'fix' was wearing off and reality was setting back in... he doesn't look happy. Notice my Dad in the mirror looking down at his camera to take the picture... btw... loved that tinsel tree, the big pink balls (duh), the train and the light wheel. And now, on to more about me...

- In my life, there were 5 dogs that I or my family owned... Jeffy and Benny were my Dad's hunting beagles... Chi Chi was my Mom's pride and joy (Chihuahua)... then we had Lucky (West Highland White Terrier) who my Dad found on the railroad while working, and then Shelby, my Cairn Terrier. I am highly allergic to dogs.

- I don't know what nationality I am. Possibly Hungarian, but your guess is as good as mine. I pass for most nationalities that people don't mess with me, except for security at the airport. I always get picked to be searched.

- I fell out of a tree when I was little that made my hip twisted back, pinching a nerve on my right side which resulted in muscular degeneration... ie: my right calf and buttock is smaller than my left ones. For 2 dollar 50 cent, I'll show you. This is why you will see that my pants and shorts are generally twisted to the left. Although somewhat blessed, it's not because of that.

- I still have the woobie that my mother made for me from scrap yarn and I still rub it to calm me down... that and the bottle of anti-anxiety meds.

Cancer Sticks...

I got off highway at the Robinson exit and was sitting at the light and looked down at the side of the road. There must have been over 1000 cigarette butts laying there, thrown out of windows of people sitting at the light. This is a personal pet peeve of mine. Not only do we have to breathe in the second-hand smoke of smokers, but we also have to look at their dried out hair, cloudy nails, yellow skin and teeth and smell their awful breath and smell of smoke on their clothes... and listen to them bitch about how much a pack costs. On top of that, they are using health care resources up for something that they know is hurting them. Now, apparently, we have to look at the waste product of their weakness lying on the road... for how long you ask?

Cigarette butt : 1-5 years Not only do cigarette butts last a long time, they are often thrown from a vehicle which means the cigarette butts end up in the street. These butts will eventually end up in the storm drains. Once they end up there they lead to the ocean and kill fish.

Is this littering, you ask?

Most cities have ordinances against this... anything is considered littering if it can be burned. I have seen fines from $200 - $500 for throwing a cigarette butt out of a car window and may include jail time.

Are cigarettes expensive, you ask?

Obama just imposed a higher tax on smoking products (from 39 cents to $1.01 a pack) in an effort to get people to stop and to fund health care for children. In the next 4 1/2 years, the tax will raise an estimated $33 billion for the cause.

Smokers: Do us, the environment and the fishies all a favor. Quit. Get a rubberband... put it around your wrist and every time you want to light up, snap the rubberband against your wrist. It's called 'behavioral modification'. If that doesn't work, give me $5... I'll light a match and blow it out in your face then smack you upside your head. That'll probably do it. Hell, I'll do that for free.

Wonder Woman

What you have to wonder is how she blocked bullets with those tin cans on her wrists. I've gotten into a can of baked beans with a butter knife before... they look more flimsy than that. And other than her big boobs being right out there, I don't know what it was that made me as hot as I could have been for her for a 14 year old gay bird in the making... must have been the all the gold lame' and bedazzled stars. Those shorts look like granny panties on her. Very unflattering. And I've used thicker gold rope on my Xmas packages than her magic lasso.

Cloud With A Silver Lining...

Perhaps things do happen for a reason... watching a news clip this morning about Las Vegas, with hotel business down 15%... convention business drastically reduced and one of the hardest hit housing market crashes... mostly every casino could be facing bankruptcy... so many people are out of work and with a huge increase of business right before the recession that sparked a major growth spurt, the whole town is at a standstill. I'm beginning to think that my mental, emotional and financial ruin was my gain, after all.

Before The Season Even Started...

Before even lifting a finger doing landscaping this year, by just touching my gloves from the fall... I have contracted poison ivory. Not 'ivy'... but ivory. (It can lie dormant up to 3 years whether the plant is dead or not). I have a habit of making up my own phrases and words or pronouncing things the way I want to... like instead of Forsythia... I say 'for Cynthia'... like it was for some girl. And instead of Pachysandra... I say 'Pat Cassandra'... again, another girl I think I went to middle school with. It gets boring when you are pulling weeds. Maybe it's the poison ivory that is making me crazy?

The Stalker Is Back

Just when I thought I had this problem licked, guess who showed up again this morning? Yes, the stalker. Here, you can see him planting a tree to symbolize his love for me... he is so delusional. I bet he's listening to "Endless Love" on his ipod...

My Boyfriend Sailed Through Again...

Some of the themes that they pick are so lame... this week was Motown... and while I think it's paramount to the music industry, the songs are all to jumpy and whiny... there really wasn't an exceptional performance... well, maybe by Adam Lambert (the 'emo' kid... he looked fantastic (normal) and sounded great)... Kris (my BF)sounded great (for what he had to work with)... It was heartwarming that he picked "How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You" as an obvious message to me. Ditto, Kris. The song is a little monotonous, but can you really hear that message too many times from someone that loves you so? The second 'video' (not really a video) above is from last week when he sang "To Make You Feel My Love" to me. It will be rough waiting for the tour this Summer to be over before he comes home to me.

I've Got Gas... And Plenty Of It...

As you may recall, I used to keep my house at 45 degrees throughout the Winter and my bills were around $145.00. My Dad's were around $450.00 set at about 68. In the new place, we have been consistently keeping it at or around 64 degrees... and that's with me walking around in shorts and a t-shirt. For me, it's like being in Miami... I actually had to shut the vent in my bedroom because I was too warm. With it set on 64 degrees, we just got our first full month's bill.... $66.00. These places are being built in a matter of weeks... they look like they could be blown over with a stiff wind, but they must be doing something right with insulation and efficiency. I may turn it up to 65 and take a vacation south of the equator.

Rain, Rain, Go Away....

Being a conscientious person, I feel it is my duty to do my part in gathering the essentials for the ark, if we need to build one (with all the rain). I've got my two things for the contribution... and they just happen to be twins...

What a Scream...

Bridgestone - Critters Scream @ Yahoo! Video

Our Retirement Condo Complex in West Virginia

So far, Matt has chosen the baby blue one... I have dibs on the other blue one... I'm guessing that Matthew will want the gray one on top (since he will want to reign down on us all, being the Queen and all)... better put your $7.99 deposit down... they are going fast.

Back To My Roots...

I've been trying to find out the mystery of my adoption (it puts any Jerry Springer episode to shame) for as long as I can remember. I have found out some things but with my biological mother and father being gone only a few years after I was born, it's been a rough road to get any information or answers. Although I have known about 5 or 6 of my biological half brothers and sisters (from many different fathers), I have never been able to track them down or spoken to them. After some research and 50 phone calls tonight, I was able to track down my biological half sister in California. She is coming here June 23rd to see her best friend that, freakishly, lives 500 feet from where I live right now. How weird is that? And when I drove from L.A. to Vegas once, I drove 500 feet past her house in California. Things happen so strangely in life. With having some answers now, my life-drama has been downgraded to a sweeps-week Maury Povich episode entitled 'who the baby-daddy is?' instead of a Jerry Springer episode entitled 'you don't know me biotch 'cause I don't know myself!'.

Martha Cracks the Whip...

Blah Girls Fashion Line @ Yahoo! Video

Spot on

I saw Religulous (ie: religion is ridiculous) the other day... this couldn't be more my opinion even if I wrote it myself. So as not to offend my religious friends, I won't push my non-beliefs (or beliefs as the Christians do)... but it does explain why there's such a decline in faith (people are wising up and thinking for themselves) and why, in the name of religion, we will wind up destroying ourselves as a world. It's worth a look-see.

I might as well hit on Politics while I'm at it... kudos to Obama for all that he is accomplishing or trying to accomplish... boo for trying to be a celebrity. I think there should be a formal distance and don't think we should idolize (at least not the 'that was dope, dog... the big O is back... I was feelin it' Randy Jackson kind of idolatry) the leader of our country... just do your job. Am I on Letterman for pulling out weeds every day?

Drop off some timber at my trailer in Idaho....

You've Gotta See This Sand Artist...

Inside My Drawers...

Feel free to peruse my drawers... explore my tids and bits and ogle my goodies... I'm sure you will find that they are very neat and everything's where it should be.

My Boyfriend's Back...

As you know, this boy showed up yesterday at my house under my bedroom window, I guess waiting for me to let down my long blond hair or some shit like Rapunzel. If he wanted me so badly, he should have just rang the bell and politely asked me out. Instead, he spent most of the day going from window to window to get a glimpse of me (probably taking pictures) and pretended to be raking the dirt out front... I mean, who does that? This morning, I awoke to the beeping of a Bobcat back-hoe under my window that he obviously rented to go along with the ruse or maybe to lift himself up to the window? Then he was jumping up and down on the dirt, I guess to get a better look in... here he is under my deck (more of the Rapunzel theme, I guess... it must get him all juiced up)... I fear that he is trying to dig a hole under the house to get in...




He brought a friend today to check me out... notice how they scattered when they saw me walk by the window, putting their hoods up as if I wouldn't notice them, pretending to work...



At first, I thought his level of commitment was endearing and I was ever so slightly flattered... I mean, I have a lot of things going on around here and for him to distract me with his shenanigans now is bordering on rude and obsessive and keeping me from my work. Besides, he is jeopardizing my relationship with Kris. If he shows up tomorrow at the crack of dawn while I just so happen to be glancing out all my windows, I'll be forced to call the authorities.

From Kitchen (never used) to Workbench (used too much)

As some of you may know, I tore out the kitchen that I never used at my house and put it into the garage of the new place for a work bench and organization/storage/tool area. With the fusebox dead in the middle of the wall, I was so pleased with how the whole thing turned out. The only plug was low on the wall below the fusebox and I installed the two in the picture, which I don't know if you can see or not, but by eyeballing it, they wound up being lined up so perfectly with the top of the formica top that it's not even funny (click on the picture for an eagle-eye view). A master cabinetry man couldn't have planned it out better... that's me, always doing it by the seat of my pants.

Construction Guy...

You know how when you have a service man come to your house... to turn on the water or cable or something and you're like... I hope he's hot and that leads to many a fantasy... and you open the door and he's got three of things that other people only have two of... or buck teeth that could bite a hog through a picket fence? Well, I must have been extra specially nice lately, cause the guy that came to fix my front yard is absolutely gorgeous. After taking about 35 shots of him out various windows and points of view, the pictures still don't do him justice. I know it's not Christmas... and it's Matthew's birthday month so it can't be mine... but somehow I got a present. Guess today won't be too productive of a day! Oh... and don't tell my boyfriend, Kris.

My Boyfriend's in the Top 10

Kris made it through tonight, which will put him in the top 10 and he will be doing the AI tour this summer. I guess he'll be sending me a free family pass or something... saving me a seat or some bullshit. Ah... the perks of being his boyfriend. :)

Yah Obama... Boo Bush

WASHINGTON – The Obama administration will endorse a U.N. declaration calling for the worldwide decriminalization of homosexuality that then-President George W. Bush had refused to sign, The Associated Press has learned. U.S. officials said Tuesday they had notified the declaration's French sponsors that the administration wants to be added as a supporter. The Bush administration was criticized in December when it was the only western government that refused to sign on.

The move was made after an interagency review of the Bush administration's position on the nonbinding document, which was signed by all 27 European Union members as well as Japan, Australia, Mexico and three dozen other countries. They said the administration had decided to sign the declaration to demonstrate that the United States supports human rights for all.

"The United States is an outspoken defender of human rights and critic of human rights abuses around the world," said one official. "As such, we join with the other supporters of this statement and we will continue to remind countries of the importance of respecting the human rights of all people in all appropriate international fora," the official said.

"In the words of the United States Supreme Court, the right to be free from criminalization on the basis of sexual orientation 'has been accepted as an integral part of human freedom'".

My Boyfriend, Kris, did great tonight...

One of my all-time favorite songs is Garth Brook's "To Make You Feel My Love". When I heard that it was country night, I had hoped that someone would do the song... or at least do some really slow ballad that showed some vulnerability... big dreamy eyes... big dreamy vocals... I couldn't contain myself when I heard that it was my boyfriend that was going to do it... and to sing it directly to me... rather than to his wife... wow. I'm really starting to feel uncomfortable with all the attention that he is giving me... and starting to feel bad for his wife (a little).

To hear his song... see krisallenation.com or iTunes

You go, boy!!

Obama Dance @ Yahoo! Video

A blast (off) from the past...

Anyone remember eating these? Hard to believe that my mom would get us anything nutritious, considering that I grew up on ketchup sandwiches and macaroni and cheese...

A woman had her place...

If you click on the picture, you can see the ad better... This is an actual ad on how a wife should act in the 1950's. Of course, most of my friends have the third one on the list down-pat.

Just Remember....

... Green going in, green coming out :) Happy St. Patrick's Day

My boyfriend....

On a night where the contestants had to sing a Michael Jackson song, Kris picked "Do you remember the time" and gave a pretty good performance. I would have liked to see someone do "Gone too soon" which is a great song... but considering that most of MJ's songs are written to go with his bizarre singing and dancing, it's pretty hard to pull off a MJ song when you're normal. As with the rest of the finalists, I have yet to see Kris really lay down his style and for me to get a feel for him... other than how adorable he is. And I agree with Simon... too early to start talking about your wife... especially with me as his boyfriend. How awkward for her.

Pomp and Circumstance(s)

I was out with friends last night and forgot to watch the "Miss Pittsburgh Quadrant" pageant.. thankfully I taped it. Imagine the drama of the tie between Miss Lower East Side and Miss Upper St. Clair... First, in the singing portion, Miss Lower East Side (Chrissy Krist Glen) tore up "She's just a coal miner's daughter, but you should see that pig iron"... while Miss Upper St. Clair (Shannon Castle Shannon)did justice to Tammy Wynette's "You ain't woman enough to be my man". The beaded gown portion was a draw, but it was the bathing suit portion that edged Miss Lower East Side ahead... nobody wears the Jacklyn Smith Collection by Kmart like she does... she tore it up with those ruffles around her bottom. Just when she thought she had it in the bag, Miss Upper St. Clair came back with her response to the question "who is your hero"... as the audience went silent, no one could have predicted that she would say the talented and award-winning Miss Sissy Spacek in her 1970's role as the coal miner's daughter in the movie of the same name... because of her ability to continually get those soot stains out of her dress. This did not compare to Miss Lower East Side's answer of Bea Arthur in the role of Dorothy in Lifetime's Golden Girls because "the bitch can pull off a caftan like nobody's business" and this made the competion a tie and they got to split the 27 dollar 50 cent prize. Quel Dramatique! It was an eleganza extravanganza!!

Out for a Sunday drive....

A mixed bag of tricks...

I'm feeling a little bit of each of these today... I can relate.

Relevant or Irrelevant?

rel·e·vant
Pronunciation: \ˈre-lə-vənt\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Medieval Latin relevant-, relevans, from Latin, present participle of relevare to raise up — more at relieve
Date: 1560

1: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand

ger·mane
Pronunciation: \(ˌ)jər-ˈmān\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English germain, literally, having the same parents, from Anglo-French
Date: 14th century

1: being at once relevant and appropriate : fitting

ap·ro·pos
Pronunciation: \ˌa-prə-ˈpō, ˈa-prə-ˌ\
Function: adverb
Etymology: French à propos, literally, to the purpose
Date: 1668

1: by way of interjection or further comment : with regard to the present topic

EXAMPLE USING ALL THREE: Over the loud (not so much apropos) chit-chatting throughout the movie selection, I found myself having to point out details that were relevant to the plot and curb those that were not germane... a lot!

Daylight Savings Time...

I'd like to make a withdrawal from my daylight savings account... between the move and sleeping less and now DST, I'm way behind in my beauty sleep. I can't seem to get rested. Add to it the two hours of my life that I lost watching Vicky Christina Barcelona by the over-indulged, self-proclaimed wind-bag, Woody Allen... and I have a lot of catching up to do.

You gotta get a chandelier...

I've been walking around saying this for so long... I love this clip... truly one of the best skits they've done... (thanks Matt for the link)

That Wendy... she's such a lamb...

Since I sold my refrigerator, stove and dishwasher a few weeks ago, I've been eating out morning, noon and night (not that I cooked much before). It's just been easier for me since I've been running around. Plus... I eat out of stress and it's been pretty stressful, as evidenced by my big belly. With my gym, literally, across the street... next week I will start my routine.

So I'm at the Wendy's again and the lady at the window practically knows me by name and certainly by order... two jr. bacon cheeseburgers and a large mocha iced coffee with 4 Splenda... same things the last 8 times I have been there this week. So I don't know if she feels sorry for me because I have such a poor diet or she thinks I'm poor ordering off the value meal list... or that she feels like I'm family now.... or that she wants to get up in my stuff and do her bid'ness... but she gave me the cutest little Frosty today for free. It really made my day. It's the little things. Guess she's taking after Dave and adopting me.

What?????

Tatiana Nicole Del Toro? Really, AI? A wildcard? More like a wild child. Set aside that the girl can sing a little bit and is decent looking when she's not moving or talking... but is this what you want representing America? A self-indulgent, overly-dramatic, meladramatic, whiney bitch? (The fact that she uses 4 names is enough) But, of course you do since she is pulling in ratings. Why else would you have Scott, the blind guy? Nice as pie and sight considered, he still can't sing that well. But that would cover your 'handicap' angle... haven't had one of those yet. You've had the big fat guy, the redneck girl, the gay guy, the black and white girl, the interracial young girl, and the hick... Taylor Hicks. What are you going to add to your collection?

We are all wondering how much this is about talent or about selling Coca-Cola, Ford and AT&T... after all, without the ranting idiots in the auditions and all the drama that ensues, how much of it really is about talent? America doesn't know what talent is... it's become a personality contest and there are so many people out there voting for the most bizarre people just to skew the process.

I have half a mind to not watch it tonight... until 5 minutes after it starts... I'll show them. (I'll let you know how it goes)

Out of Hibernation...

A new start... and a new shave... no more Winter beard!

This was the view from the deck at the new place... it was a beautiful sunset and, as the saying goes (pink sky at night, sailors delight), I will take that as a sign that it was a good move in my life. The move itself, however, was less than delightful. Being 3 floors high, the new place had it's challenges... and I love my friends to death for helping, but we are all from the isle of misfit toys. Each of us has our own physical challenges that we had to deal with and were all happy when it was over. When I went to take the truck back the next day, it was so cold out that I couldn't get it started. I had to call service to jump start it. Then the cable guy came and spent 4 hours trying to get the cable to work. It's always something.

My dad and I slept like babies last night. All is well in our move to the 'East Side'... getting our turn, at last.... etc. etc. (Jefferson's Theme Song)