You Say You Want a Resolution... Well, You Know...

As we raise our glasses for a midnight toast... it's also time to turn a new page in our lives as we turn a new year... and to jump on the bandwagon and head to the gym... or quit smoking or stop eating so much or get out of debt... for a few weeks, at least.  Studies show that over 50% of us make resolutions and while the first couple weeks go great, by February, we lose traction, if not go backwards.  Resolutions are a form of cultural procrastination... an effort to reinvent oneself, but researchers argue that people are not ready to let go of their bad habits.  This false hope syndrome reflects itself in resolutions being significantly unrealistic and goals are unattainable, which results in failure.  When you make positive affirmations about yourself that you don't really believe, the positive affirmations not only don't work, they can be damaging to your self-worth.  The other aspect of failed resolutions lies in the cause and effect relationship. You may think that if you lose weight, or reduce your debts, or exercise more, your entire life will change, and when it doesn't, you may get discouraged and then you revert back to old behaviors.  Making resolutions work involves changing behaviors which involves changing the way you think.  Habitual behavior is created by thinking patterns that create neural pathways and memories, which become the default basis for your behavior when you're faced with a choice or decision. Trying to change that default thinking by "not trying to do it," in effect just strengthens it. Change requires creating new neural pathways from new thinking.

Along those lines, I suggested to a few of my friends who suffered a loss of a loved one to try to create new memories to replace milestones that brought them sadness.  Instead of marking the time of day that you received bad news, make a new tradition at that time to celebrate the person's life and change that behavior into a happier time.  Easier said than done, I know, but I'm sure the loved one would have wanted it that way.  This past Christmas Eve, a hard time for me (having lost several relatives in the month of December) and my friend (who lost her daughter), we started a new tradition of releasing balloons with LED lights in them as a symbolic way to send our love or a message to a loved one... as well as send a wish out.  In the past, I've had Winter Solstice parties where you write down on paper a bad habit or behavior you wanted to get rid of and we placed them in a bowl and burned them as a symbolic gesture of letting go of it.  Replacing a cut-down Christmas tree with a live tree that you plant in a grove in your back yard makes memories and changes that, less ecological, behavior.  Or take a mason jar and every time something good happens throughout the year, write it down and put it in the jar and review your year of good things on New Year's Eve.  Sometimes, it's easy to forget the good things.

The tradition of the New Year's Resolutions goes all the way back to 153 B.C.  Janus, a mythical king of early Rome was placed at the head of the calendar. With two faces, Janus could look back on past events and forward to the future, hopefully righting your wrongs. Janus became the ancient symbol for resolutions and many Romans looked for forgiveness from their enemies and also exchanged gifts before the beginning of each year.  A somewhat tradition in the U.S. has us dressed up in masks seeking a kiss at the stroke of midnight, symbolizing the evil of the mask being purified by the kiss.  Another theory is that whatever you're doing when the new year arrives, is what you'll be doing the rest of the year, so if you're sleeping, it's supposed to mean a lazy year... or working, or partying... you get the picture.

Having said that, if you feel compelled to make New Year's resolutions, here's some tips to help you make them work:

1. Focus on one resolution, rather several and set realistic, specific goals. Losing weight is not a specific goal. Losing 10 pounds in 90 days would be;
2. Don't wait till New Year's eve to make resolutions. Make it a year long process, every day;
3. Take small steps. Many people quit because the goal is too big requiring too much effort and action all at once;
4. Have an accountability buddy, someone close to you to whom you have to report;              
5. Celebrate your success between milestones. Don't wait the goal to be finally completed;
6. Focus your thinking on new behaviors and thought patterns. You have to create new neural pathways in your brain to change habits;
7. Focus on the present. What's the one thing you can do today, right now, towards your goal?
8. Be mindful. Become physically, emotionally and mentally aware of your inner state as each external event happens, moment-by-moment, rather than living in the past or future.

Happy new year... best of luck, health and happiness in the coming year, and always!!

The Season of Red and Green

Red and Green are the two colors most-associated with Christmas, and there are many conflicting meanings behind them, depending on religion and region of the world, as well as the origin of the tree.  For Christians, the color green is a natural representation of eternal life... specifically, the evergreen tree and how it survives through the winter season. That’s why, in Christian belief, green represents the eternal life of Jesus Christ. The color red symbolizes Christ’s blood which was shed during his crucifixion.  Back in the 14th century, churches put on miracle plays and, traditionally, on December 24th, they put on the Paradise Play... the story of Adam and Eve.  And in place of an apple tree in the garden (since they weren’t available in winter), they fastened apples to the branches of a pine tree. Using a pine to represent the Tree of Good and Evil became a common practice among churches and they began incorporating the tree into their Christmas displays each year. But it didn’t stop there...following the church’s example, people began assembling pine trees in their homes and decorating them with red apples.  Nowadays, green (money) and red (in the red/going into debt) seems to represent the colors more accurately... or maybe being green with envy that someone got to the sales rack before you got a chance to trample and bludgeon them to a red, bleeding mess on the floor in the Missies Separates department of the local Walmarts... but I digress.  Lost is the real meaning of the season... spending quality time with your friends and family in simple tradition and religious observance.

There's been quite a stir lately, and I'm not talking about the creatures that are stirring... not even the mouse.  It's with the whole war on Christmas debate... I think Christians are feeling like people are trying to take the Christ out of Christmas... while non-believers either want equal time for all religions (and that to be recognized by Christians (a losing battle, I think)) or for it to be kept out of public places altogether.  Even my fellow Atheists got into the picture with their Flying Spaghetti Monster as a symbol of the (non)holiday.  Mostly considered a parody religion, The Church of the Pastafarian is a movement against the teaching of creationism in public schools, and displays of the monster are popping up all over the country, right next to the nativity scene in town squares.  And although this is a fairly idiotic and funny representation, it does convey the message that no one religion is more superior to another and people can worship what they choose.  But this post isn't about that argument... although, personally, I think Christmas should be more about the religious meaning (even if I don't believe in it) than the commercialized adaptation that we currently have.  

As a landscaper, if there was a religion out there that worshipped nature and the earth/science, I would be in the front pew bright and early on a Sunday morning wearing a big, fat, say-something hat.  I think we take for granted what we do to the earth with our carbon footprint, fracking, pollution and raping the forests... which brings me to the Christmas tree.  If there's anything that gets my goat more, it's when someone gets a live tree for two weeks and throws it out on the curb.  Some 34 million trees are cut down for the holiday and, while you can argue that it spurs the economy or it can be mulched and reused, it's still not right.  Trees recycle carbon dioxide and convert it into oxygen for us to breathe, as well as clean the air.  If you take a walk in the woods and get an elated feeling... that's clean air at work.  Besides the air, their root system combats sun, water and wind erosion and trees provide shade, altering temperatures and resources needed, and shelter for animals, fruits, nuts, berries and maple syrup, as well as other foods for humans and animals.  When the branches and leaves decompose, they provide nourishment to make the soil fertile for regrowth and the wood for building and other needs.  Trees are necessary for the circle of life.

While it's probably too late for this year, as you've probably already murdered (red) an unsuspecting pine... perhaps you can take some of this into consideration and choose a different (green) option next year.  There are more and more places where you can get a live, rooted tree in a pot that you can decorate and use indoors for the holiday and then replant in your yard when the season is over.  In fact, a friend of mine does just this... she has a whole grove of trees in her backyard that she planted over several years.  Instead of just having a symbol of Christmas for a few weeks a year and then pitching it on the curb, you can look out and see each year... even decorating them reflecting the memories of that year... and starting a new tradition for your family, as well as benefit the environment.

Whether you celebrate Christmas or some other holiday (that I won't pretend to know how to spell or pronounce), here's wishing everyone the best of luck, health and happiness in the coming year.

Pope-on-a-Rope

I have been told that I write a lot of posts on religion, especially for an Atheist, and I suppose a lot of what I write is to discredit it... but not in the sense of placing myself in a position of superiority (as most Catholics do) but, rather, in an attempt to understand it in my head... something that has been a life-long pursuit of mine.  In my blog, I am able to work through my issues and concerns, and religion has been both for me.  I guess if it wasn't for the hypocrisy of the Church and it's people, the cover-up of the pedophilia and that religion is most often at the heart of the cause of war, I would just block it out.  But when it infringes on my rights and aspects of my life (as well as government and education), it's hard to ignore.   I am not well-versed on the many religions in the world so, for the sake of argument, the source of my angst is Christianity.

For me, it's simple.  As I stated in the past, I am a realist with a huge belief in science and the tangible.  And while I think there may have been a cool dude named Jesus, I think that most of it is a hoax to get people to act a certain way, which actually isn't such a bad thing, depending on what's the actual directive they are trying to preach.  If you remove the idea of where you're going when you're dead (heaven and hell), to me, the rest is just following the teachings of Jesus... which is trying to be the best person you can be.  Even with the idea of a higher power, it's really just a lesson in humility.  I'm not even sure why there is religion, except for the part of trying to control people and making people feel better about death and the things that happen to them that they cannot, on their own, control or rationalize.  It's not surprising that most religious people are not rooted in science, for it would totally denounce their whole belief system.  It must be difficult to have your whole being based off a book that is mired in ambiguity and confusion.  How can the cornerstone book of an organization created to lead (control) it's followers be so unclear?  The book, written by man, is open for interpretation... and THAT'S where the problem lies.  That, and the ideal that one's religion is superior to another.  If followers could wrap their heads around the fact that their religion isn't the law of the land, we all would be better off.  Be careful what you wish for Christians... prayer in school could very well mean pagan rituals or a moment to rub the belly of the Buddha... or, dare we imagine, sitting down on the floor facing Mecca.  It's all a possibility, technically.  Wow, the PTA meetings would be awesome to see... who's bringing the snacks and refreshments?

Religion has many intersections.  The hardest for me to understand is with politics.  The Republicans are generally a religious folk, which is contradictory to their policy.  It has been proven that the RNC uses the religious to get votes by riling their hotspots... gays and abortion... at voting time to get their agenda through.  The teachings of Jesus tell us to love one another... don't worship both God and money... and to take care of the sick and poor and, yet, that is the antithesis of the foundation of the Republican principles. They treat women like crap, hate gays, are racist towards minorities, they are full of greed and worship the dollar, and oppose health care and any other program that helps the people that they, pretty much, trampled all over to get on top.  This couldn't be illustrated more perfectly than by the reaction of some Christians and Republicans towards the new Pope, Francis.  The first Latino Pope and first Jesuit, it seems like they finally, after 266 tries, got it right.  He has shunned the elaborate pomp and circumstance of the previous papal and has used public transportation.  He has come out swinging against the condition of the present-day complacency of the Church, urging it to return to it's focus on the truly needy... against capitalism at the expense of the poor... against priestly celibacy... against inequality...  and has a different view on abortion and gay marriage... and people in the church and the RNC are pissed about it.  Imagine him, spreading the Word of the Lord.

Let's face it, religion is part cult and part business, albeit "not-for-profit" (lol).  People are touting him for his views on business... but this could be the best financial shot-in-the-arm that the Church desperately needs to survive.  With followers dropping like flies, even the Atheists are loving this guy.  In my opinion, if you are going to follow your faith, then you should actually do just that... spread the teachings of Jesus... and who better to do this than Pope Francis, the people's Pope.  A few weeks ago, he sent out a questionnaire to all parishioners asking their opinion on several ideals, of which he intends to use to make changes to outdated, archaic ideals and to draw more people in and, with his shaking things up and cleaning up the Church, he could be the soap-on-a-rope Pope that they need.  I just hope that the rope isn't around his neck, as I fear for his life because of his not-so-radical (by non-Church standards) view... because people can be adverse to change... especially when it's for the good... in this case, of mankind.