Sunshine (and Painting)... Here I Come

While there was some question as to whether or not the Florida trip was going to happen, it has been confirmed... I leave Friday for Philly for my class, then Monday for Florida... will be back the 22nd... just in time for some eggnog and sugarplums dancing in my head.

Oh.... The Weather Outside Is Frightful....

I can't think of worse way to start a horrible day than it being shitty outside on your way to the dentist... possibly getting a ticket on the way could add to it.... or.... getting up to make an 8:30 dentist appointment, heading out into the shitty weather and then finding out that your appointment is tomorrow... it's like Groundhog Day... all to be repeated tomorrow morning.  The sad thing is that I had a reminder set for tomorrow already, I just didn't look at it.  All the more time to go over to the other house and work... oh, there it is... it just got worse.

I thought I would possibly try out a new segment called "Word Up".  In this segment, I would pick a few words that were possibly tied together and would provide a definition... to clarify or build word power.  Today's words are:

1. FRIEND:  The cooperative and supportive relationship between two people. A relationship which involves mutual knowledge, trust, esteem, affection, support, selflessness and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other.

2. EGOCENTRISM:  Derived from the Greek and Latin, 'ego', meaning "I", "me" or "self", a person having this trait thinks only of themselves, often times acting without the thought of consequence to their actions of self importance, self benevolence, self centeredness, and self benefit.  Often related to the term 'narcissism' and having the following characteristics: (from a medical journal)

...Shamelessness - Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.


...Magical thinking - Narcissists see themselves as perfect using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.


...Arrogance - If a narcissist is feeling deflated, s/he can reinflate him/herself by diminishing, debasing or degrading somebody else.


...Envy - If the narcissist's need to secure a sense of superiority meets an obstacle because of somebody else, s/he neutralises it using contempt to minimise the other person's ability


...Entitlement - Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves uniquely special. Any failure to comply will be considered an attack on their superiority and the perpetrator is considered to be an "awkward" or "difficult" person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.


...Exploitation - can take many forms but always involves the using of others without regards for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.


...Bad Boundaries - narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist will be treated as if they are part of the narcissist and be expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist, there is no boundary between self and other.


3. BETRAYAL:  The breaking or violation of a presumptive social contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals.

4. CONSEQUENCE:  A reaction caused by an action.  i.e.  Someone that I thought was my FRIEND let his EGOCENTRISM get in the way which led to a BETRAYAL, and the CONSEQUENCE was a destruction of a 15-year friendship.

Progress

Now that I'm under the gun with getting as much done at the house to get it listed before I leave next Friday, I'm bangin' shit out. I was dreading how cold the house was going to be (a brisk 45 degrees) and that today's plans were to put up wallpaper, one of the worst jobs in history. I got the thicker kind that's supposed to hid imperfections. Considering that I barely scraped the old paper off, didn't remove the old glue and put it all up in 3 hours, it turned out pretty incredible. The next step is to paint the whole room, including the paintable wallpaper, put the toilet and sink back in... and that should be it.

I've been chatting online... meeting a few people here and there... but mostly there, wherever that is... guess, anywhere but here?  It's funny to talk to 5 nice people from, say, Atlanta... and they all say there's nobody in their town that's good.  I guess we all want something outside of our own area.  I went out last night and wound up meeting people... you guessed it... from out of town.  At least I'm getting better at not getting involved with out-of-towners.  I, like Dorothy, am looking no further than my own backyard... even if I have to be alone.

And the YUM! Goes On...

With the preliminary poll results leaning towards an acceptance to the YUM! section, I will continue to post tasteful and tasty mens in this section. This blog comes from my heart... so these posts are also an extension of who I am, which is an alive, gay male. It's not my intention to offend anyone (despite a few results that think it's being turned into a porn site). Since I have to squelch who I am on a daily basis for the straight masses, I won't do it on my own self expression blog.

Made It Through...

I don't know what it is... I always get this depressed feeling that overcomes me on holidays.  I always feel blah whether there are people around or not.  It's just something that happens, and I've learned to just give in to it and get the day over.

I was very surprised Thanksgiving eve when I was out and about... usually there are more people getting last minute things, but all the stores and roads were barren... even Walmart.  I went to breakfast yesterday with my friend Elaine and her Mom and it was busy, but no stores open yet.  Two hours later, my Dad and I ate our Thanksgiving dinner (Ham, cheesy cauliflower from a bag, orange mashed potatoes and popinfresh biscuits).  All that was missing from the day was a plate full of toast, pretzels and popcorn and Charlie Brown finally getting a kick in on that football.  But as Linus says, it's being with family that matters.  It was really nice to be sitting there with my Dad.  I had to laugh because even with the simple meal in front of us, it might as well have been a feast... he's definitely an example of a person who doesn't ask for much and he enjoyed preparing it.

After two rapid-fire meals within a three hour time period, I was stuffed.  So I proceeded to sit down and finally watch 'Nights in Rodanthe'.  This movie got some reviews calling it overly dramatic, and it was right up there with 'Bridges of Madison County', but I absolutely loved it.  Starring Diane Lane and Richard Gere, it was a beautiful love story.  After that, I proceeded to sit and watch 6 hours of RuPaul's Drag Race... something like America's Next Top Model, but more so with Drag Queens.  I developed a huge sinus headache, put the pillow over my head to block the light and fell asleep around 8ish and slept 12 hours.  

It's 36 degrees out and it just started to snow... I want to go out and check out some of the deals, although I don't need anything at all... I don't get why people would want to go out at midnight or 4 a.m. to save a few dollars.  They risk life and limb in a stampede.  I don't care if they're giving it away... it's not worth it.  Anyway, I just need to get out of this room.

 

Happy Thanksgiving... Hug an Indian...

Just keepin' it real, yo...

Tall Tales - Thanksgiving @ Yahoo! Video

Precious... Was, Well.... Anything But

What a fantastic movie.  With subject matter that is hard to watch, I was glued to my seat.  Such riveting performances from new-comer Gabourey Sidibe, Mo'Nique and even Mariah Carey (with no makeup on)... I can see why the movie is getting such buzz and accolades.  It will definitely be a contender for multiple oscars.

Clareece 'Precious' Jones is an iliterate, overweight, black teen in Harlem and comes from a broken family... broken promises, broken laws and broken bones, more like it.  Pregnant with her second child from her..... wait for it.... father..... she takes constant physical and mental beatings from her mother as well.  Thrown out of school for being pregnant, she is given the chance in an alternative school, where she finds out what friendship, love and a second chance is all about.  One bad thing happening to her after another, she still manages to rise above it all to be anything but what her mother is.  This story reminds me so much of my own situation... being a poor, stupid black girl living on a farm with an abusive husband... I used to tell myself.... "all's you need to do is cut him while you are shaving him and you'll be free at last.... free to be reunited with your sister Nettie in Africa and go slummin' around with the likes of Shug Avery"... oh wait, that wasn't me... that was Miss Celie in the Color Purple.

Sadly, the audience was miserable.  With the language being very coarse and the movie being graphic and thematic (to say the least), some people brought their children, from ages 2 - 10, to see it.  I can't even imagine.  And every single person in the movie would not stop talking constantly.  Like it was audience participation or some shit.  Very nerve-racking... but I remained calm and didn't explode (mainly because we were outnumbered and would have been cut), but it ruined it a bit for me.  Still, I give the movie 5 slaps upside the head out of 5.  That's the highest any have gotten on my blog to date.  Definitely a 'must-see' movie.

Progress

Low and behold, we got about 3 minutes of sun today (hope they don't think they are counting that towards Pittsburgh's sunny day statistics)... but it was enough to get me motivated to go over to the other house and finish up the floor and got some of the wanescot glued to the wall and caulked (hehe, caulk)... it's starting to come together.  I may be able to unload that place yet.

Monday Movie Madness night was recently changed to Tuesday Night Theater (TNT).  We're going to see the critically acclaimed movie 'Precious' and my favorite Fuji Apple Chicken Salad at Panera beforehand.  Woo Woo... big night out!

A Little Bit of Funny

Xmas is Quickly Approaching

With the weather we have been having, it's hard to believe that Turkey Day is here and Xmas is only a month beyond.  When I was growing up, we used to have a foot of snow on the ground from Nov 1st until March, it seemed.  Now, despite the threat of a hard winter from the 'officials', it hardly seems like we're going to see any snow at all.  And me with my new 4X4 revved up and ready to go, looks like jumping curbs at Walmart will be the most 'off-roading' I will see.

I have experienced a lot of death in the family in the month of December (My Mom, Shelby, my Aunt, and 2 Uncles), so it's never a good time for me to begin with, so I thought I would make a concerted effort this year.  Ever since my Mom passed, she took Xmas with her, so to speak.  My Dad doesn't decorate any more, he didn't have people over like we used to, he doesn't make his pizelles... things change.  Now, living with him, I really wanted to make it special for him this year, but with my seminar on the 5th and 6th, and leaving for Florida on the 7th through the 21st, I'll hardly be here.  It's also strange in Florida around Xmas.. with the hot weather, palm trees and beach, it's hardly a scene out of Norman Rockwell.  More like... "over the Intercoastal and past the beach, to Aunt Ida's house in Miami we go... the cab knows the way to carry the gay, past the margarheta bars and T-shirt places and 8 lane highways...." (well, you get the picture).  I also wanted to have a family and friends get together here at the new place.... first Xmas here and all.  And after a 'friend' pointedly allowed me to have it only after reviewing, editing and supervising the guest list, I decided not to do it at all and, subsequently, wouldn't have been here any way.

I am thankful that my Dad is still kicking.  The man doesn't have a bad bone in his body... he'd give the shirt off his back (which is probably mine, since he gets all my hand-me-downs now that he's shrinking)... if there is anyone who deserves to become a Saint, it's him.  I have tried to pattern myself after him my whole life... truly a great person.  I am thankful for my friends... we have an interesting bunch and while we tease each other about our shortcomings, it's in that ferver that is a true knowing of each other... a special bond... a keeping it real and pushing each other to be better than we are... at least those who are willing to look at themselves.  Lastly, I am thankful to find the strength to keep moving forward in my life.  I want to challenge myself and who I am, what I'm about and how I treat people.  It's only when you are in the company of those greater than you that you strive to be more... and I, now , have some truly incredible people around me.  I'm a more peaceful me in sorting through the crap and moving on, be it with people I thought were friends, my own self-help or whatever comes at me.

A Good Weekend

Although the weather turned out a little shitty, it was acutally a good weekend. I went with 12 friends to dinner last night... we went to a cowboy bar/restaurant called Cadillac Ranch. It just opened a week ago and it was a madhouse. It took them only 30 minutes to get us seated, regarless of the reservation, but the rest of it took at least two hours. What an unorganized mess. They have a bull that you can ride too... her name was Erica... she was our waitress. (kidding) Our whole section seemed to be full of gays. Three tables out of 6.  Of course, I was the fifth wheel... all couples except me.  That makes it hard and, although I am on a chit-chat website and have met some nice guys (one in particular from Atlanta)... didn't do me any good when I stood on the doorstep waiting for my goodnight kiss.


I woke up today full of piss and vinegar to get out and do something exercisanal... was going to take another 20 mile bike ride, but Moe and Terry called and we went to see Twilight... Full Moon. I saw the first one and it was rather magical, although I'm not a big sci-fi horror vampirey person. This one was pure rubbish. The only good part of the whole movie was the first time that little (now big and manyly muscle) Taylor Lautner took his shirt off. The theater was filled with little girls (including Me, Moe and Terry) and possibly another gay or two spread here and there. Well..... when he pulled his shirt up, there wasn't a little girl, gay or straight man that didn't gasp in delight... then we all giggled like schoolgirls. I am definitely from the 'Jacob' camp... as was mostly everyone else (obviously).. his manly-muscle arms and manly-muscle legs... wet from the rain... dripping... glistening on his taught body..... (STAY TUNED FOR A BRIEF INTERMISSION) .............................................................................................................. alrighty then. Ok, I'm back.  It was so hard to focus on the movie any time he was on the screen... and I sensed that from everyone around me as well.  The girl behind me was so mad when he went to kiss Bella and didn't follow through so she could see it.  Anyway, the movie was contrite, overly dramatic, 3 1/2 hours too long... and with Bella being a miserable, overwrought bitch, I find it hard to believe that Edward and Jacob would be fighting over her at all. They definitely set it up for the next one, 'Eclipse', which I will not be seeing. I give it two pastey-white Roberts out of 5, only because of the juicy, little Taylor Lautner.

YUM!

Although the blog has to stay true to who I am, I sometimes wonder, even though the audience is broad, do I push the gay envelope too much. Please take a minute to participate in the poll to the right...

Progress

It's been no secret (because I've been blogging about it) that I've been procrastinating lately.  I guess because I'm not doing massages or landscaping jobs, that somehow I'm not being productive.  Truth is, besides getting a lot of stuff done at my Dad's (in the everlasting project list), I've been doing some of the things that I've procrastinated about last year... like going through my closet and getting rid of stuff, organizing my computer files, going through stray music CD's, old software programs, etc.  It's good to purge... last weekends garage sale was the throughway to organization for me.  It feels good.

Greener Grass...

A few days ago, I joined a meet and greet chat site... and I've met some really nice people. Some locally, which will be nice to hang out with as friends, but it always seems like the good ones are in some other town, far away (hey Brian). What's funny is when I talk to two nice people from the same city and they both talk about nobody good in their city. I guess we're more willing to look outside of our own backyard. Didn't Dorothy teach us anything? Maybe it's because gay guys set themselves up to fail... figuring if they meet someone in another city that's nice, it lingers their hope that there are good guys out there, but they don't have to commit to one, even though they say they want to. I'm not much of a chit-chatter (except on here and in person), so it's frustrating telling someone in Tel Aviv how my day went.


Today was one of those miserable, damp days that Pittsburgh is known for. I really didn't feel like doing anything today, but pushed myself to go over the house and get the wanescoting cut but not glued on the wall, and laid the new floor for the bathroom. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning. Guessing I'll feel like shit afterwards... oh well, tomorrow is shot.


It's light up night here in Pittsburgh on Friday night. All the buildings downtown have to turn all their lights on, and they unveil the Xmas tree, open the skating rink, and Macy's unveils it's holiday windows. 200,000 yinzers later, it's a total cluster-fuck. Oh, and yes.... thereare fireworks afterwards. We're infamous for our fireworks displays. The wind changes directions and someone lights off a friggin' firework of some sort.  I'm not one for crowds and stupid people, or I would go... it's usually a good time if you can get down there early, get drunk and look at all the pretty lights and whatnot.

Don't Send Me Hate Mail... I'm Just the Messenger of Prejudice

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan


What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.


Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.


What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts


Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.


What do you call a smart Blonde?
A golden retriever.


What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.


What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs


What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes


What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.


Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.


Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you


What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.


Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.


What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.


What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine?'


Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.


Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.


Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.


Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.


Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.


Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
They named him 'Sum Ting Wong'.


What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.


What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.


What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... 'a recipe'.


How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!


What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time ...' -A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit....


Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

Verizon Elves

In keeping with the on-going debate with Matt over Verizon and AT&T... here's the next installment of the Verizon ads...

Progress

Yesterday, I had the appointment to show my Dad's house.  After having to call her 20 minutes after we were supposed to meet, she showed up in her big fat BMW with her come-fuck-me boots on and designer this and that... looking for a McMansion... or at least a spot to stick her McMansion on.  That's the problem with the house... the yard is great but we're asking more than an empty lot would be, mainly because we're selling a house, not an empty lot.  And the house, by today's gimme-gimme standards, was never meant to house the glutton-like mentality of present-day yuppies with all their clothes and shit.  Why... when we were young, we had one outfit and one toy... that was it... and we all shared rooms and worked the farm... and after a long day's work, we got a good night's sleep and knew we had done all we could... we were a family and it didn't matter what we had or didn't, but we were together at the end of the day.... night MaryEllen... night John-boy... (oh, wait... that wasn't us....).  

Now It All Makes Sense...

I have never been a real fan of Thanksgiving food... turkey is always dry and makes you tired... not big on cranberrry sauce or gravy or yams... in fact, my Mom usually made spaghetti for us.  But the one thing that there was never any question about was my dislike for pumpkin pie.  Not sure why... maybe the consistency... maybe the taste... but it always looked and tasted like... well... crap to me... now it all makes sense....

Yum !

A New Dawn

After my tirade last night, I could barely get to sleep.  Fortunately, I had taped SNL with January Jones hosting and, with it being totally not funny, that helped... a lot.  I'm not sure if it's that I put so much into my friendships that I get disappointed when I get a small percentage back in return, I expect too much (like respect and kind human nature) from people or I'm just a glutton for punishment in the friends that I choose sometimes and I am cracking from within.  I am just absolutely stunned that people act the way they do.  For those close to the issue, it all makes sense.  For those not, I'm sure I sound like a raving lunatic... but it would all come together if you knew.  I have to find a way to process this in a more healthy way, and I think a start is removing myself from the situation.  I don't let go of things as I should.  I hold myself to a high, unselfish moral standard and wish others would as well.


I got a call about my Dad's house and I'm on my way over there to show it.  It's not ready to show and I plan on listing it when I'm done, hopefully in the next week or so before Florida... but I put a sign out front just for the hell of it.  If I can save the commission, than that's all the better.  You never know.

The Separation of the 'Continents'

Tonight, we went to see 2012.  Although the predictions of the end of the world from many sources have yet to be proven, you would think all communication and infrastructure from the East side of Pittsburgh were already wiped out, since I can't seem to get any respectful response from my 'friends' over there.  14 texts and emails later, I still wasn't sure who was showing up.  It's not that difficult to make up your fucking mind.  Since we basically have had to give in to their irrational mental block all along with regard to having to go over a bridge or through a tunnel or spending $2 on gas to come to this side... meeting for everything on that side of town (regardless of the out-numbering of the west-siders and it only being 15 minutes to the other side) to pacify and keep the peace became the norm.  I think it's official that no one wants to oblige any more.  Having met some new friends tonight, looks like the ones that regularly show up and people that are interested in getting together are all on this side any way.  Must be something in the water that causes the rude behavior and ADHD on that side.  I am officially done inviting the children to grown-up night.  I just wind up being the teacher trying to herd the kids away from the shiny objects when the short bus doors go flying open.  Except for the days prior trying to get everyone to focus (which is a frustration for me and usually ruins my time), the night goes more quietly any way.  If it sounds like I am pissed, I am.

The drama of getting them to make up their minds was only BARELY overshadowed by the 2.5 hour visual vomit of the end of the world as portrayed in 2012.  If you subtracted all the cliches, ridiculous and narrow escapes, dramatic acts of humanity, obvious demises of the bad guys... and two hours of dramatic visual overload and computer generation, you would be left with a message... buy a hybrid before we're all fucked, although it's probably too late any way.  While entertaining and somewhat edge-of-your-seatish... anyone with half a brain gave up on a plot and acting 20 minutes in and just watched the carnage, which was pretty awesome in scale.  I'd give it 3 days left out of 5... you still have time to save yourself... (hint) build an ark and learn Swahili.

Biking Fools

Last night, we all went to see "Pirate Radio", about the rock and roll movement in the 60's in England.  I'm not one for the English comedy, finding the humor dry and usually naughty and I have a hard time understanding them.  The characters were all quirky, loveable and well-developed, the songs were all favorites and the whole movie was one of the best 'feel-good' movies I have seen in a long time.  With rock and roll illegal to play on the mainland, the radio station had to open up on a boat in the ocean and the goverment, as you could imagine, didn't like that.  The people in the theatre were all boomers or slightly younger... everyone seemed to have a great time.  I highly, highly, highly recommend it.... 4 1/2 Beatles albums out of 5.

Today, Matt and I went to Ohiopyle... a little town right on the whitewater river... it's mainly know for that, but also has great hiking and biking trails.  My bike has seen a lot of miles... sadly, only in the back of a U-Haul truck from residence to residence.  I haven't used it much in the 8 or so years I've had it, but made up for it today.  We managed to ride 20 miles.  I'm exhausted, but it was so worth it... it was a very nice, calm, relaxing day.  We had lunch at an open-air cafe.  Some other friends didn't make it, so it was just the two of us which made it nice.

Ho, ho.... ha ha ha!

Matt, who is what I consider a technology geek, and I have a long-standing debate over the iphone and Verizon's phones... and along with that, Verizon vs. AT&T.  Verizon recently fought back and came out with these holiday ads that are hilarious...

Happy, Sunny Day

The garage sale was a complete success... made $499 dollars... and, as I expected, all the things that I thought were going to go first because they were nice or valuable were left to the end, and the crap that I was embarrassed to put out was snatched right up.  It's a weird menality... garage sale people... take everything, throw it in a box and make them root through it and they love it.  Clean it, organize it and display it nicely and they don't touch it.  I'm so glad to have all of it gone... I had to take a few boxes down to charity, other than that, most of it went.  I have my garage back.  I attempted to get fifteen bucks for my Dad, stating that he does dishes, and thought one lady was going to fork over the money.

Matthew's dog was put down yesterday.  He was a 13 year old Cocker Spaniel and had a number of problems that probably would have been harder to heal and would have required some patience, time and money.  He came from an abusive household and (although we tease Matthew that the dog went through the witness protection program (he changed it's name from Scuddles to Spencer, threw out it's toys and bedding and gave him a shave/bath on the first day)), the dog had a better life than he probably would have.  If Spencer was smaller, Matthew would have walked around with him in his pocket book, I'm sure.  And although I can't recall that I've ever seen Matthew petting the dog, Arron constantly played with him.  They seem to be bouncing back, already talking about getting another one and have names picked out already.  It's amazing how much our pets are there for us and go through so much with us.  They just don't live long enough.  It's heart-wrenching.  I miss Shelby.

It's 66 degrees out today... Matt and I are going biking tomorrow to enjoy the weather. Tonight, we're all off to see Pirate Radio.

Progress

I'm all set for the sale tomorrow morning.  This is the first time, out of the many, many garage sales that I've had that I'm actually holding in a garage.  It's so nice to be able to wake up, stretch and hit the garage door opener and be ready to go without having to lug shit out onto the lawn.  No early-birds... they'll have to wait until the door is open.  I hate the mentality of the garage sale people.  Haggling, bitching, conversing... just give me the money and get out.  So sorry you don't have anything better to do on a sunny Saturday morning but root through my old shit.  Boo hoo for you.

Speaking of sunny... I can't believe this weather.  We're going to have sunny, warm (mid-sixties) weather for the next 5 or 6 days.  It'll hardly make my trip to Florida hard for the people stuck here with the, normally, 35 degree weather.  I'll have to find something else to rub in their faces.  In the meantime, I'm set to go December 5th to Philly for the class, then fly to Ft. Lauderdale for two weeks.   I'll be back December 21st... just in time to hang the stockings by the gas fireplace with care.

Hocking My Past...

Tomorrow is the big garage sale, with my two computers, some pieces of Tuscan English, Royal and S.G.K china and a few other things being the 'high-ticket' items... I'm hoping to make a few bucks.  I filled up a two-car garage to the point that you can barely walk down the aisles.  It should be quite a spectacle.  My Mom's taste in clothes was impeccable... with the house, not so much.  While it was always spotless and looked very nice, let's just say that the Wal mart picture department must have been bought out by her several times... you know, the kind with the goldish plastic multipiece frames that fall apart when you pick it up.  So, imagine my surprise when, after some research, that she actually had a few nice pieces laying about.  Nothing that I'd keep or display, mind you.  With the other house almost empty and painted, it's starting to look like there's an end in site.

I'm not sure if someone happened onto my site by accident or if I have them hooked, but I got my first hit from Mexico yesterday.  It's official... I'm multi-national.  

Just Saying....

Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you have to say.
Best friends listen to what you don't say. 

(I stole this from a good friend who has proven he listens AND reads between the lines)

A Move and a Movie

After watching the Country Music Awards last night, I wish I had a lasso to do myself in.  I don't know if it was the sound system or what, but no one sounded any good.  I've heard a group on a platform in the Wal mart parking lot sound better, and these were supposed to be the best.  Makes you wonder how much of their voices are fabricated.  Someone that always sounds the same, no matter what show or concert or medium is Taylor Swift.  She is consistently awful.  Does anyone else realize this... that behind her barrel curls is someone who cannot sing?  It's embarrassing to watch.  And yet, she picked up Female Vocalist of the Year, Album of the Year and Entertainer of the Year awards.  WHAT?  I can maybe see the last one, since that's probably based on fan hooplah and concert sales... but the others, stealing them away from Reba, Faith Hill, etc... what a shame.  It proves that the 'masses' don't exactly have good taste.  Move her to the Disney channel singing lullabys.  I'm starting to like Kanye more and more.

The other night, we saw "Law Abiding Citizen" with Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx.  What a great movie.  It was a nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat plot that delivered right up to the (unexpected) end.  While it is does have elements from "Saw", it's a psychotic twister that you'll not want to miss.  I give it 4 1/2 sunny fall days out of 5.  It's a 'must-see'.

Yum !

Whop-de-doo, it's about time...

SALT LAKE CITY – The Mormon church for the first time has announced its support of gay rights legislation, an endorsement that helped gain unanimous approval for Salt Lake city laws banning discrimination against gays in housing and employment.

"The church supports these ordinances because they are fair and reasonable and do not do violence to the institution of marriage."

Passage made Salt Lake City the first Utah community to prohibit bias based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Under the two new ordinances, it is illegal to fire someone from their job or evict someone from their residence because they are lesbian, bisexual, gay or transgender.

And although this was the church's first public endorsement of specific legislation, it is not the first time the church has voiced support for some gay rights. In August 2008 the church issued a statement saying it supports gay rights related to hospitalization, medical care, employment, housing or probate as long as they "do not infringe on the integrity of the traditional family or the constitutional rights of churches."

Since when did the 'traditional family' become 2 or 3 wives?

Body Changes... Menapausies?

I've been going through some body adjustments over the last couple of days.  Between caffeine withdrawal and reverse sugar shock... somewhat of a head cold and realizing that there's a few days that went by that I didn't take my medication, my head is swirling.  I've been exhausted as well, but have been sleeping well though... and a lot.

I'm finally having the garage sale this weekend.  It's supposed to be sunny and around 60-65 through Sunday.  I have a bunch of things to bring from my Dad's to add to the big honking pile I have here already.  It will be good to get that over with.  It seems as I work through the laundry list of things I need to get done that more get added.  It wouldn't be so bad if they were little things, like weed the flower beds... but they're a little more complicated than that.  And while I have been making some progress, it doesn't seem like enough.  What does a clear head feel like?  I'd like to know... and a simpler life as well.

Julie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIE !

I've known Julie since the 7th grade.  I crushed on her all through Jr. High and High school... and while we never dated officially, we were inseparable.  Dating was one of those things that was waiting to happen... until I burst out of the closet and she burst into tears.  I always wanted to do a duet with her or be in a school play opposite her as the male lead, but was always too scared to try out.  I'm fortunate to still have her in my life some 30 years later.  She's a fantastic singer, a caring Mom and a valued friend.

My Own Worst Enemy

My life hasn't been easy, not that anyone's is.  With being adopted, having biological parents who were a mess, being gay, having been sexually harrassed, having changed careers many times throughout my lifetime and constantly having to reinvent myself, being a Gemini, having my Mom pass away, taking control/care of my Dad from my addict brother, financial ruin, and fighting depression, to name a few... and while I try not to use these to define myself, these are the things that make up who I am.

I spend a lot of time self-reflecting.  I've had therapy in the past, been on medication and have sought out help from books and workshops as well... trying to figure myself out, to no avail.  In fact, the more I look deep inside, the deeper the hole gets.  I have to wonder if I will ever even get close to an identity to use as a starting or reference point.  Meanwhile, my life has played out like a deep bog of quicksand and if I don't keep moving, I'll sink.  Or like I'm a tornado, with a path of destruction behind me a mile wide.  And while I'm sure that everyone plows through their life making decisions (good or bad) that effect their life, I spend way too much time analyzing my every move to the point that I am paralyzed.  With every move being intertwined with the next, I feel wrapped up in a lifetime of paths.  I'm choking.

I've always been a 'relationship person', whatever that means. But with everything in my life being a catch-22, it turns out that I haven't had much success with them.  In comparison and by statistics, no one really does, I guess.  I just wish I was the kind of person that could just take the easy way out... blame the other person, learn nothing and move to the next one.  Or worse (as in the case of some people I know), stay in relationships that don't work... it's usually those people that pass judgement from their moral pedestal on to those who expect/desire/deserve more and are not willing to put up with crap.  Not sure which is worse... both situations end up with unhappy people who are lonely. 

Every one thinks that, because I can get attention for one reason or another, it's any better.  On the contrary, it has made me very insecure.  Second guessing why someone would be interested in me, knowing all along what a mess I am.  As a result, I walk around a loner with a wall up.  Add to it my low self esteem and tendencies to push people away and it's a recipe for disaster.  I might as well start knitting, get a cat or ten and learn how to make jam.  That's my future.  I'm not an easy person, I know that.  There's no manual and I don't fit a profile.  This was blaringly obvious to me when I decided, with a ray of hope, to look for someone on Match.com a few weeks ago.  After spending almost an hour to fill out their detailed and scientific profile and setting the parameters for someone within a 300 mile radius, not one match came up.  There are millions of people in their database.  That's depressing.

My life is much different than it used to be.  I'm not living the swinging singles lifestyle... I don't have a big corporate job... I pull weeds and rub gay men at a gay campground for a living... I have a small local friend-base... and I live with my Dad.  Not exactly putting myself out there.  So finding someone to fit into that scenario is pretty bleak.  And while I am coming to grips with that, it's not an easy pill to swallow.  Still, I continue to figure it out... work on myself (I am attending a workshop next month to work through some of these problems) and remain hopeful. 

And while the offers for a roll in the hay are always out there, I'm tempted to hire someone to just hold my hand... cuddle... talk indepth... run their hands through my hair (what's left)... kiss me... those are the things I miss.  Those are the things that make my heart ache.

Funny Twins

I love these girls... They're kind of creepy, like you'd see them at the end of a long hallway. Their voices are so monotone and annoying, but I can't stop listening to them. When the mother walks in, they get all cute and smiley. Total brats... I love them!

Sunny, Sunny Day (Part Two)

71 degrees today expected and it's already 61.  With at least ten things that I shoulda-coulda-woulda wanted to do today, I'm heading to my friend, Elaine's to clean up her yard for company coming.  I wanted to throw the bike in the truck and head about an hour away to ride at Ohiopyle, but I may do that tomorrow.  There was no way in hell I was going to be inside today working on that 5X5 bathroom.  So much to do, so little sun and warm weather.  It feels like spring... it even smells like it.  I have all the windows open.

Sunny, Sunny Day

Wow... it was gorgeous outside today.  My Dad and I went over to the house and while he rode around on the tractor (supposedly mulching leaves but more so getting himself dizzy and lost), I took two truck loads of leaves over to the composting station after using the blower and rake to gather them up.  So much so, that I got a blister on my right hand.  I am technically right-handed, but I do a lot of different things with each hand... I actually wear my watch on my right hand, which usually throws people off.  Any way, finding out recently that we only have 1.2 acres instead of 2 may be bad for the price of the house selling it, but it's a God-send when cleaning up leaves.  Although the yard didn't shrink, mentally it felt like less.  I also went up on the roof to blow the gutters out (get your mind out of my gutter) and removed the toilet, vanity and floor in the bathroom in preparation for the new stuff and wanescoting.  All in all, a productive day.  Tomorrow is supposed to be 70ish.  Lucky us.

YUM !

This is a new section that I have aptly dubbed "YUM !"

Progress(ively Going Backwards)

Today was a disaster. I didn't get anything done that I had planned. After feeling sick last week and pissing around this week, I finally got motivated to go back over to my Dad's to do more work on the bathroom. However, just as I was getting ready to leave the house (not really, I was watching Supernanny reruns), my Dad calls... his truck died near town. So I had to change my plans (get up) and head down there to figure it out for him. After Triple A got there, it was surmised that the alternator went bad (imagine after 135,000 miles). Fortunately, the tow truck driver (cute as a button although somewhat grimy) said if we took it back to his garage, he could have it done in an hour. 55 minutes later and $245.00 less, we were back on our way. My morning was shot (now that it was 3:30 p.m.), so (boo hoo) I didn't get to do any work at the house.


I decided to head to Barnes and Nobel to read my magazines (Us, People, Star, OK, Entertainment Weekly, Life & Style and In Touch)... and what to my wondering eyes do I see? Not my magazines, that's for sure. B&N has a habit of putting them out later than any other store. I was so pissed I didn't get to read my $85 worth of free magazines, I actually thought about paying for subscriptions. Nah.


From there, I thought I would head over to the new 'Market District' Giant Eagle. Developed to rival Trader Joes and Whole Foods, it looked more like a stroll through Epcot Center at Disneyland. So kitchy, trying to simulate the feel an open-air market in Europe, it missed it's mark. First, the infrastructure around it wasn't made for the traffic. There were 30+ cars in the turning lane and the parking lot was a total cluster-fuck. Poorly designed, not enough of it and cars parked everywhere, every single Robinson Township "SUPPIE" (Suburban, Urban-wanna-bee Professionals) obviously had nothing to do on a Friday night but head there to see the giant cheese sculpture and use their $2 off coupon. I think they thought this was their big chance to go to a foreign country (less the frequent flyer miles and passsport), since many have never ventured over a bridge, much less an ocean. With too many winding aisles, props that were pretentiously not needed, taste testing booths, big slabs of dried meat... it was jam-packed with people trying to get a free piece of cheese and a cracker... it was a mess... you couldn't move. There were some different things on the shelves, but mostly the normal brands... it looked like a little village in Italy bought out the Wal-mart and stocked their shelves. It had a dry cleaners, beer, crepe station, cafe, hot and cold buffets... once you got in here, there's no reason to leave (although I didn't run across a bedding department).

Build it, and they will (put on their Steeler apparel, get all their under-achiever kids in their SUV's and) come.

Progress

It's been 4 days now since I've had pop or candy... something that was a staple in my diet before this week. I've gained 10-15 pounds over the last couple of months from eating really crappy food, including McDonald's mostly every day. I eat out of stress or convenience, with 8 cans of diet pop and usually a bag of sugary, gummy candy every day... and at least one trip to the fast food places. It's a wonder I'm not diabetic or have had a heart attack.

Tonight, I made sirloin tips with green beans. I had my salad at Panera Bread for lunch, and eggs for breakfast. I had a banana and yogurt as well. I bought salad, bacon, chicken, lots of vegetables and more eggs at the store tonight. I've also been drinking lots of water, which is a milestone for me. I'm not specifically cutting out anything else other than sugar, caffeine and things blatantly recognized as junk food. And although I feel more tired than normal without the sugar and caffeine, I am going to bed at a normal hour... usually around 11 (compared to 3 a.m. before). With my trip in a month, I'd like to lose 10 pounds, which is my ideal weight, while kicking up my exercise as well. I hope I don't loose it from my booty... I like it when it's plump and luscious.

Probably In Bad Taste

Heading to Florida

I got some great news today... my ex, Scott, who has the condo in Ft. Lauderdale where I stay, put his condo up for sale and needs some work done in it (painting, spackling, etc). He wants to fly me down in a month, rent a car for me and pay me for painting the whole place. Being their second home, it's very fun and kitchy, but they want to tone it down a bit for selling. I have a class in Philly (details to come) December 5-7th and I'll drive there, stay with them and then leave my truck and fly out of there to their place in Florida the day after for 10-12 days, fly back to Philly and drive back to Pittsburgh... just in time for Xmas. It's a great working vacation and soaking up some sun will help me recharge for the rest of the winter.