All About Me Mondays...

These are in order, from left to right... 1st grade through 5th. Besides the haircuts, you can see that my outfits were an experiment in terror as well... except for the last one... I think I really grew into my big head by fifth grade... it would have been around 1977 and I was sporting a very cool orange floral print polyester shirt... and my hair was kind of wild and free. I think we switched from Joe the Barber... the one who put tupperware on our heads and cut what was sticking out. Some interesting things that happened in grade school...

- I remember participating in the very first Earth Day... we cleaned up the grounds of the school and planted some trees in the early seventies. We learned about 'Mecology', which was a combination of me and ecology... the jingle went... "just ad me to ecology... that's Mecology". I still remember that jingle.

- I dislocated my thumb while doing the running broad jump... or maybe I was jumping or running away from a 'broad' (girl)?

- When I was in sixth grade, Happy Days came out and I wanted to be the 'Fonz' so badly... careful what you wish for... if I had a nickel for every time someone told me I look like Henry Winkler, I'd be rich.

- Even though I am kind of 'Sporty Spice' now, I hated intramural days. My friend Carl and I would skip school... when asked if I was going to attend, I said I had a funeral to go to... however, intramural day was over two weeks away. Everyone was highly inquisitive on how I knew the person was going to die in advance and thought I may be a witch, which made me nervous around burning fires for quite a long time afterwards.

- Carl's Mom worked for the school cleaning after hours. We would ride our bikes to see her, then we'd run the halls and go into the rooms and steal things from people's cubby holes... and the stars and stickers from the teacher's desk. Kind of made me complacent when I didn't have to strive to get a good grade to get a star... I had enough of my own stars and stickers, biotches. I think that was the beginning of the end.

All About Me Mondays... On Tuesday

It suddenly hit me that I did not put one of my pictures in the post yesterday for All About Me Mondays... and that's like walking around with a sack of sunshine and not sharing it with others... so here it is. I would first like to point out that this is the only time that my brother embraced me throughout our lives... He was probably trying to butter me up to get a five-spot from me to get a hit of weed... I think that this photo also proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt that, fortunately, my brother and I could only be distantly blood-related. With his blond hair and blue eyes and shit-eating grin... it is highly unlikely that we came from the same gene pool, beyond our biological mother, let alone the same planet. I can only assume that my Dad had to say 'Quaalude' to get him to smile. By the look on my face, I think this is where it first hit me that this one was going to be an on-going problem in my life...

All About Me Mondays...

Ever since I was brand new, my family went to Myrtle Beach every year and stayed in the same hotel in the same room. I met my oldest and dearest friend, Brad, there when we were 8ish... the movie 'Beaches' was made about us (I was portrayed by the fabulous Barbara Hershey)... our meeting and life happened almost exactly like the movie. In the picture above, you can see my Mom's stylish bathing suit, complete with matching floppy hat (don't think that I didn't wear that all the time) and glasses. Some interesting things that happened there over the years...

- When I was about 4 or 5, I got the worst case of chicken pox the doctor had ever seen... I had them in my mouth, under my eyelids... everywhere. The sand exacerbated the whole situation and I wasn't allowed in the sun, but I did pick at them and have a few scars from it.
- There are things that happen in the world that you always remember exactly where you are... 911... the space shuttle disaster... Princess Di dying... and the first time you saw Grease. I saw it down there in 1978... I was 11 and fell for John Travolta... but really loved Olivia Newton John's sassy hot pants and big heels.
- My Dad and I had a great business going every year... he would go out in the ocean and bring me sand dollars... we would bleach them and I would go door to door selling them for a dollar. I would earn money before we left for vacation to spend... but I always made money down there and came back with more than I left with.

All About Me Mondays...

I think it was the red cowboy outfit that was the start of my shame spiral to gaydom.

- When I was around 8 or 9, I was riding my purple-specked, banana-seated, long-handlebarred bike and ran right into the front bumper of a dark brown Dodge Scamp... and chipped my tooth. It's still chipped.
- I took piano lessons for a few months as a kid. I didn't have the patience to practice and have a bit of an ear for music, so I would memorize the songs instead of sight reading music. I can still remember some of the songs.
- I lost my virginity when I was 20 in a Red Roof Inn in Philadelphia. That was when I tried clawing my way back up my shame spiral to gaydom but, alas, I slipped and fell... a lot.

All About Me Mondays...

Yet another happy Xmas and another new hairstyle for my Mom. She definitely liked changing it up. Of course, my brother has his normal spaced-out look on his face... I think his 'lude kicked in. If you look at my hair, my Dad used to take us to get our hair cut at Joe the barber on Neville Island for three dollar... and an extra fifty cent for him not to put the tupperware bowl on our heads and do it 'free-style'. In the bottom left corner... looking like the Wicked Witch of the West poking out the bottom of the house... that was either Dressy Bessy or Dapper Dan. The dolls taught you how to tie your shoe and zipper and button. Dapper Dan was undoubtedly androgenous... because when you unbuttoned his pants (which I did often), he had no weenus.

- I am allergic to everything including myself. Without my Afrin, I would not be able to breath. My nose closes up throughout the day and especially at night. If my mouth were ever to be taped up, I would suffocate. Allergy medicine doesn't work for me.

- My first car was a Chevy Laguna. It had a rubber front on it. I hit a telephone pole and it didn't even break the headlight when I hit it head on.

- I opted to take French in Jr. High. Three years of it. When I was in Paris, I forgot everything I knew by the time I got through the airport and that's about the time that they wanted me to leave. The only other time I attempted to speak it was in St. Barth's. I should have taken Spanish, in hindsight. I've been to Mexico four times and L.A. as many.

All About Me Mondays...

Some of the things about me that have appeared in my blog have been things that even my closest-est friends were not aware of, so I will be doing "All about me, Mondays" with just some quick tidbits... As far as this picture goes, I am the one on the left... the one on the right is my brother, Dan. Guess his 'fix' was wearing off and reality was setting back in... he doesn't look happy. Notice my Dad in the mirror looking down at his camera to take the picture... btw... loved that tinsel tree, the big pink balls (duh), the train and the light wheel. And now, on to more about me...

- In my life, there were 5 dogs that I or my family owned... Jeffy and Benny were my Dad's hunting beagles... Chi Chi was my Mom's pride and joy (Chihuahua)... then we had Lucky (West Highland White Terrier) who my Dad found on the railroad while working, and then Shelby, my Cairn Terrier. I am highly allergic to dogs.

- I don't know what nationality I am. Possibly Hungarian, but your guess is as good as mine. I pass for most nationalities that people don't mess with me, except for security at the airport. I always get picked to be searched.

- I fell out of a tree when I was little that made my hip twisted back, pinching a nerve on my right side which resulted in muscular degeneration... ie: my right calf and buttock is smaller than my left ones. For 2 dollar 50 cent, I'll show you. This is why you will see that my pants and shorts are generally twisted to the left. Although somewhat blessed, it's not because of that.

- I still have the woobie that my mother made for me from scrap yarn and I still rub it to calm me down... that and the bottle of anti-anxiety meds.