Tids and Bits

I'm not sure if it's that my Dad has nothing else to do or he thinks it will take longer than it does, but today, I am again faced with dinner at 10:30 in the morning, just like Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.  On Sunday, he likes to cook something even though we don't actually do a 'formal' dinner since I'm never home... so I go out in the morning while he's cooking and when I come back 8 hours later, it's sitting there on the stove... 7.5 hours after he cooked it.  I have usually grabbed something while out or already had plans to eat, so I am obliged to eat again, hope for the best with not getting Salmonella and then clean up after the whole thing.  Still it beats my Mom's dried out shoe leather roast every Sunday.  Not even a jar of applesauce smothered all over it would give it some moisture. I'm surprised that my skin is as supple as a little Swedish school girl's after having to endure that for most of my life.


Today is a Steeler playoff game... I guess if they beat the Jets, they'll be in the Superbowl and we will have gone from 'One for the Thumb"(winning 5 Superbowls) to "Six Pack" (winning 6) to ???  "A Slice of Heaven, with Seven"?  And while I think it's good for the city (them winning), I, for the life of me, cannot imagine a situation where I would be jumping out of my seat, screaming every minute or so like the Yinzers do... not even the gayest ice skating competition where maybe the hot skater's pants fall down and you get a wiener peep show would envoke that in me (well, maybe that would).  There was that year when Miss Tennessee lost a strand of her weave during the eveningwear competition... that was a scream!  But normally, the only thing that I jump up for joy on a Steeler's game day is that the stores are dead and I don't have to wait in lines.  At least it gives the Yinzers something to look forward to before the season is over and they get Post-Pardum Polamalu Depression.  The other playoff game, between the Bears and the Packers, sounds like the more gay of the two competitions... and the action might possibly hold my attention.  Kayleigh is boycotting the game since it screwed up her weekend events... and I am boycotting because it messed up Desperate Housewives for me.

Speaking of sporting events that a gay would like, I went with Julie to her daughter, Kayleigh's, gymnastics meet yesterday.  Not only is it in my genes and required by gay law for me to like it, but I actually really do... as far back as when my fairy wings were just sprouting.  I like the concentration, the grace and the strength needed... and like seeing boys in tights getting pummeled by their horse... er... on the pummel horse, I meant to say.  Behold the sight of their manly-muscle arms and their manly-muscle legs and their cute little outfits.  Anyway, yesterday was all little girls, and by little girls I mean those still screaming with post traumatic stress disorder from the escape from their mother's womb.  With the smell of pampers and gym, we watched as they went tumbling by, doing their little cutsie moves and loaded, pandering smiles to the judges.  Kayleigh was excellent, but most of the girls lacked focus.  My ass hasn't seen a bleacher in many a year, so needless to say, I was in pain by the end and had enough of cackling tweens and stage moms who get mad... you're little darling sucks... deal with it.  We ate at Boston Market afterwards and had a really fun time making fun of other people's kids, so all-in-all, it was a good day.