Lump of Coal

This weekend is Christmas in July, so it seems really strange to see all the decorations and lights up in the lush greenery of summer and hearing the music pumped throughout the campground... much like when I spent December in Florida last year.

This place has become a second home to me with my massage business here as well as a great deal of my friends.  All that is coming to an end, however.  The campground is a private, member-only establishment.  As such, I was told that because of that, we did not have to adhere to the West Virginia Massage Board laws, but I found out that that isn't so.  With more and more people pawning themselves off as massage therapists these days, states have put massage boards into place to regulate.  For the 12 or so years that I have been doing massage, Pennsylvania never had any regulation.  They are currently changing that, with the new laws being enacted in November.  West Virginia, where camp is, has had laws in place previously.  The requirements to do massage in the states with regulations are being unified, with a mandatory 500 hours of instruction (I have over 600), transcripts, and passing a national exam as the staple requirements.

Massage is a lot more than just rubbing people.  There are many things that I could do that could seriously hurt and/or kill someone... and people don't realize the severity when they choose to get on someone's table.  The schooling I had to do was 10% 'this is how you rub someone' and 90% anatomy, physiology, pathology, kinesiology and other medical course.  The national exam has a 60% fail rate, and is very difficult, especially for someone that has been out of school for over 12 years.  Even with being in practice all these years, I fix problems with my hands, not my mind... in other words, when there's a problem, I instinctively know what muscle areas are involved... but don't list them by name in my head.  Taking the test will nearly mean learning everything again.

This year, massage has been great for me.  After questioning my interest and abilities and almost not doing it at all this season, I was glad that I did, especially with the positive feedback and result I have been getting.  Now, I am faced with a big decision.  With the test costing $250 a pop, having to re-learn everything and probably having to get registered in both states, I'm not sure if I'm going to pursue it. Sadly, I went into massage when my 22 years of business without a degree shut me out of the business arena... the same thing is happening with massage.

I have had to completely stop doing massages this weekend.  It's up to a $10,000 fine if caught and the establishment can be fined the same.  This all came about when a person here started poking his nose in it since his boyfriend just finished massage school and, after three tries, passed the test fresh out of school.  Having other gripes with the owner, he was looking for a way to get his boyfriend in to work here, but failed to realize that threatening to bring down the whole campground with this (and other) attacks is not making him any friends.  In fact, for this and other stunts, he won't be allowed back next year.  So he kind of fucked himself as well in his going out in a blaze of glory.

Although my business here is done now (even if I went to register and take the test, it would take months, and the season would be over), I'm not mad.  I'm definitely bummed.  I wasn't looking for some special arrangement here, and I'm grateful that he brought it to my attention so I wasn't breaking the law.  Will I miss the money?  Of course.  Will I miss the work that I was accomplishing?  Of course.  But the real issue here is the impact this has on my life.  There's no reason for me to be down here now.  I'm in a staff room and I'm no longer staff, so I have no where to stay.  More importantly, these people here are my family... with a lot of my really good friends being here... coming every weekend, etc, I will miss them.  It also means that I will be in Pittsburgh more, which is great now that I am dating Jesse... but I will be forced to think about what I will do with myself for the other 6 days a week that I have available now beyond my one day a week at the Marriott.  Will I make a greater push for my landscaping business?  Will I get a waitering or bartending job?  I have a lot of options that I have to think about.  And while I don't need to take on another job, too much time on my hands isn't good for me.

It's odd how life giveth and life taketh away.  With Jesse coming back into my life... it was a gift.  With this... it's a big lump of coal from the Grinch.  Life is like a white elephant gift exchange... you never know what you're going to unwrap, and if it's some good shit, someone will most likely take it from you.