!E Three

I don't hide the fact that I partake in the Hollywood rags... Star, OK, People, US, Life and Style, In Touch and my fav... Entertainment Weekly.  I enjoy the mindless meandering through the glossy pages where I mostly look at the pictures, but I guess I have become sort of the Perez Hilton of Pittsburgh with keeping up with the Kardashians and everyone else in the 'wood.  It's hard to not get unnerved by some of it, being as ridiculous as it all is.  Still, it makes me feel good that someone else's life is more screwed up than mine... and it's more fun than Time and Newsweek (which I also read). 

That I have an opinion is also something that I don't hide.  In fact, my tongue is so sharp that, often times, it cuts me.  Having said that, I have decided to try a little segment called the !E Three... where I will highlight three pieces of entertainment news that I think would be detrimental to your existence had you not been informed.

This weeks topics:

1.  The MTV VMA awards:  Against my better judgement, I am taping this, only because Chelsea Handler is hosting... and who better to corral the animals than her.  This show seems to be such a free-for-all.  Considering that most of the attendees either have some bizarre outfit on (Kei$ha wearing a trash bag)... or they are packing a gun and have more gold in their teeth than Fort Knox.  And the big showstopping event was that this was Justin Bieber's first performance on the show... duh... he's 8.  Are you kidding me?  And who the fcuk is Drake?  He is the hottest thing in music right now (as per Justin Timberlake)?  He's not even singing music.  This is the future of our talent pool.  BTW... at press time, Lady Gaga is winning everything and Taylor Swift is singing a song off-key in a pretty dress... surprise!!

2.  Jaden Smith, Will Smith's kid, recently starred in the remake of Karate Kid.  First of all, little kids of today... it's a remake, from 1984.  It's not the best thing since sliced bread... it was then... now it's just someone (Will Smith, perhaps?) who can't come up with a fresh idea.  The other day, I saw Jaden on some talk show showing his 6-pack stomach.  HE'S 12.  He fell out of the womb looking like that.  He still smells of diapers. One and a half sit ups and he's done.  I can't wait until all of these young kid's metablolism changes and they're wearing wife-beaters, drinking beer from a hat on their head with a lap full of donuts and a big, fat belly.  Karma is a bitch.  So is gravity.

3.  Jared Leto's band, 30 Seconds To Mars, won an award tonight for best new band or some shit.  He's been seen dating many a girl and yet the rumor still circulates that he's possibly gay.  My ex (a boy) had relations with him in a trailer on a movie set.  Rumor settled.  You heard it here first.