25 Years Back, One Step Forward

If you're really honest with yourself, you can't say that a reunion doesn't bring a certain amount of angst with it.  Fortunately, I've worked through a bunch of things and don't care about the rest, so I didn't have too much anxiety, except I would have liked to have had my hat on.  I've worn a hat every day of my adult life and, either from wearing the hat or just nature's cruel joke, my hair is thinning on top.  Still, it's an extension of who I am and I don't quite have the same confidence in myself without wearing it.  In contrast to the people who passed away or were battling some current illness, I decided to shut the f-ck up to myself and be thankful.

I got to the country club after having met with Julie and Laurie in the parking lot of the Eat n Park down the street where we proceeded to scoop out cherry jello shots out of a cooking pan from the back of her Ford Explorer SUV.  The first person that I saw was someone from another grade and I had to wonder if I was in the right place or not.  I went to get my name tag, and they put our class picture next to our name.  A few minutes later, it was pointed out that my picture wasn't of me but, rather, David Pasquarelli.. a classmate that I always used to get mixed up with and that, coincidentally, was also gay and, eerily, deceased.  Out of 328 people in our class, there were 80 that showed up, some with their spouses, but most stag.  Our school was known for it's drinking, and it made sense that we had an open bar from 5:30 until midnight.  For fun, they had a photo booth set up, had a DJ and they were doing a few raffles as well.  After we were served our salad, we were invited to the buffet and then homemade cookies by some of the girls in the class.  For $55.00, it was a great night out.  Julie, Pam and Kim reprised their role as the Andrew Sisters and sung 'Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy'.

Facebook really took a lot of the pressure off in a few different ways.  You kind of knew some of the people that were coming and what they looked like from their pictures... so there weren't really any much-anticipated surprises (like maybe you expected someone to have grown a 3rd appendage or something, were as big as a house or had 15 kids).  If anything, it was surprising to see the ones that haven't aged a bit... like they were cryogenically dipped in some preservative (those bitches, most of them guys).  I really didn't fit in anywhere in high school and I was one of the kids that didn't belong to a lot of groups and just worked a few jobs.  It was pretty clickish still.... the jocks... the nerds... the burn-outs... the smarties (which is who we hung with, barely qualifying with my honors status, as opposed to high honors).  I never realized how much these people made my school years bearable... we had a great time. 

There were a few things that I felt throughout the night... feeling old... feeling like I coulda/shoulda done more with myself... looking for the popular approval still... was missing my youth... wanting to get out of there an hour into it like the sociophobe that I am... but it was a good exercise.  I have no regrets, am thankful for my life and where/who I am and have nothing to prove.  It was nice to go and I'm glad that Julie and Laurie were right there with me the whole time, but I will probably not go to the next one.  Sometimes you just have to turn the page.