Growing

The last couple of days have been good towards my personal progress.... I made it to the gym for the first time in over a year and I'm heading there today... I ran into Jesse (my ex) and rather than fall to pieces, I was able to process the situation, realize that it's a toxic situation and avoid further analyzation, angst and meeting up with him.  And yesterday, at the Marriott, after an 11 hour day of finishing up stuff for the audit today, the pressure washing company made an absolute mess, splattering all that mud all over the flowers, mulch, trees, bushes and rocks, and I was able to just shake my head and walk away.  In the past, I would have stayed for another 4 hours until dark fixing it... but since I warned them that would happen and questioned the logic of doing that mid-day the day before the audit and everyone still left to go home at 6, I figured why should I have diarreah over it when no one else gives a shit (runny or not)?  So I left.

Working through personal walls or handicaps is a great feeling.  I'm happy that I'm the kind of person that analyzes these things in my life and I'm able to make progress towards a healthier (be it physical or mental) me.  And since I put my shit out here for everyone to see rather than carry it around inside, I find that it helps me to hold myself to that personal progress when it's in clear view.  On the downside, it does make me look like a crazy bitch, verbalizing what others only think and process in their heads.