Home Sweet(s) Home

I’m very happy to be back at home. Always looking for a life lesson of some sort from my experiences, I learned from this trip that my eating habits are horrible and I’m out of shape. I’ve had a membership to a gym right across the street from my house for a few years now, but never go. I’m not sure what psychological thing that we go through that we’d pay for it month after month rather than canceling it when we don’t go… maybe we rationalize that if we cancel it, it’s somehow even worse than having it and not going? $45.00/month later and a big belly to show, I drive by it several times a day.

My nature is very cyclical in that when I’m doing something, it’s either all or nothing. I am either very committed or very much not. A stumbling block for me is my link to food and stress, with the levels of each running parallel. When I’m stressed and running all over, I don’t take time to eat right, sometimes eating out several times a day. There’s also a financial stigma attached as well… bad food just costs less. I’m not sure why, when you remove the fat, sugar, carbs, etc. and are getting less substance, it costs more. Nothing is a better example of this than water. It kills me to pay for water. And if I get a hamburger, the same goes for not getting the bun. It just seems like you’re not getting your money’s worth.

I am well aware of what to eat and not to, and yet I still put this crap into my body. For me, sugar and caffeine are the two biggies. I crave sugar like Whitney Houston craves crack, and we both denounce it as ‘whack’, but still ingest it. Smarties, gummy bears, M&M’s… all part of my arsenal against my good health.  It calls to me.

I’ve often though that if I bought a Jeep that I could be that guy that has a backpack in the back filled with things like a hang-glider or running shoes or repelling ropes… able to engage in some activity at any given moment… but, instead, you’d probably find a Ho-Ho somewhere in the glove compartment or worse, the empty wrapper.

I’m not programmed to be selfish but, rather, a giver. Therefore, I spend much of my time doing for others. I rationalize working on my body as being self-centered and shy away from it… or is that just an excuse for being lazy? How can something that has so many benefits (better health, more energy, less depression, etc.) be so hard for us to get up and do? Sadly, when I do make some progress and see results, I usually quit. I’ve never been able to make eating and exercising my lifestyle like stress and sugar binging, which comes so easily.

And so, with time on my hands and a reduction in stress lately, I’ll post this: I’d like to eat healthier and exercise more. I will start my ‘blatant’ diet today. By ‘blatant’, I will be cutting out anything that is blatantly unhealthy, like sugar and pop and baked goods… and will drink water, make smarter choices in meals and become more active. Now that the weather will be changing, I have no excuse. Will I be able to do it?... err.. rather, I WILL be able to do it. I will start by throwing out the ¼ pound of candy that I have in my laptop bag…