Drop in the Bucket List

Funerals are such a catch-22.... it's always a sad event, but you get to see many people that you don't always get to see, and that makes you happy.  It was good for my Dad to go and see his two sisters (In pic, Rose on left (88), Rose Mary (86), My Dad (83) and my Uncle Mitch (Married to my Dad's sister Theresa, who died ten years ago)).  They are all getting too old to get around, and they don't see each other enough.  It's funny how families sort of fall apart when members die, which is what happened to us.  Gone are all of their spouses (Uncles Buck and John, my Mom, Aunt Theresa and my Uncle Joe).  When you are younger, you take for granted that the fun times you are having with everyone won't last when they're gone and things change.

I don't believe in the whole funeral process... part of me thinks that if you can't make time to spend with that person when they are living, then you have no business being hypocritical by being there in the end.  On the flip side though, it supports the surviving family members... although, after my Mom died, I really couldn't wait for everyone to leave.  I know that some people need closure and it is a respect thing, but it's grueling for the family members, I think.  Especially with the Catholics, who need to have 2 viewings, two days in a row, followed by the burial ceremony the next day and, of course, a meal afterwards.  It's a bit much.  I would like to be cremated... have a little, casual (shorts and baseball caps) ceremony maybe in a park or something where my ashes could be spread back amongst nature... perhaps a sing-a-long... some poetry readings... ring a bell maybe... followed by a picnic (not ontop of me though)... that is the way to celebrate someone's life.

Speaking of life, it really gets you thinking about what you are doing with yours... and how fragile it really is.  My cousin was only 53... and I have another cousin who isn't doing well, who is also young.  You take for granted that you have a lifetime... and you do, but how long is that?

I have been very fortunate to have done a lot of things in my life... I've done a great deal of traveling, I've done a few different careers, I've explored... but you can't help but have some regrets.  When I was 20, I moved to Philadelphia, which was a big move for a kid from a small town... but I wish that I would have had the balls to do it in New York City.  I also wished that I would have back-packed across Europe when I was younger.  I think that going to college would have made my life easier in ways... and I wish I spent more quality time with my Mom when she was alive.  There are other things that I want to do that I know are still obtainable, and I will obtain them... like a month-long cross country trip... that I will do.

I'm a pretty simple person.  And while I don't think that my life is over, by no means (in fact, in ways I feel like I'm right on the verge of a break-through)... but if I had to die in the near future, I think that I would feel content knowing that I did my thing... and hopefully, I did right by others and they would come to my picnic for a piece of corn and a hamburger.