Progress

I got word that the closing is set for next Friday, the 15th.  I've been itching to get this over with... and still itching from the poison sumac, although it's starting to show some improvement today.  My brother is definitely out of a job and, although hard to tell because everything out of his mouth is a lie, I'm pretty sure he will be out of his apartment as well, possibly his 'girlfriend' left him and rehab is no where in sight... since he's back to using again.  I caught my Dad giving him $60 twice this weekend, with the promise that his last paycheck will be on his debit card tonight for repayment.  That will never happen though.  There isn't any money coming.  I am at my wits end with both of them.  I told my Dad that if we don't get the money back tonight, I will change the home number (I already changed his cell number after my brother called every two minutes about 12 times in a row the other day) and that will be the end of contact with him completely.  If it doesn't happen, I will definitely re-think this whole living situation with my Dad come May and will just go on my own.  I can't stand it any more.

When I get stressed, I add to it that I eat like crap.  I worry so much about it that I turn right around and eat.  The other day, still having all the stuff left from the last time that I wanted to do the Master Cleanse, I decided to try it again.  Maybe it was because I felt weak from being sick, or I didn't eat lunch or supper that day before starting, but I lasted an hour and a half before I almost had a panic attack and had to eat.  Everybody thinks that I don't have to lose weight, but a good ten pounds goes a long way on me.  I hide weight well, but my normal weight is about 170 lbs... I'm at 185ish now.  My gym was across the street and little.  I've been paying on it for almost two years and went maybe three times.  Yesterday, I joined the LA Fitness that is next to my Barnes and Noble.  I'm hoping that with a bigger gym with more ammenities, that I will go... and I have a few friends that go there as well.  It's actually $15/month less than what I was paying.  The also offer an array of free classes and Yoga is one of them (suggested by my friend, Robin). With Winter coming and my plan to not be back on my depression meds, I'm hoping that keeping busy and working out will get me through.  I haven't been depressed yet, but have been emotional all over the board... but that could just be the things that are currently going on in my life.  UPDATE:  I just got back from my first workout... feels great... threw up in my mouth a bit from the sit-ups and I can't lift my arms up, so round brushing my hair out will not be a possibility today.  I just had a glass of milk, a banana and scrambled eggs.  I'm on my way.

Today is entertainment day... I'm off to the casino around noon to meet up with Scott... and it's movie night later on... meeting up to see Ben Affleck's The Town.  With it raining so much, looks like my Monday grass cutting will be on Thursday, the first day with a hope of sunshine.  This weekend is the Autumnfest with 15 or so friends.