Welcome back, old friend...
... like clockwork with your pals, Fall and Winter
... you come back forcing a change
... bringing back longer periods of pitchblack and darker shadows
... numbness and coldness
... empty
... confining and enclosing
... swirling
... deadening of all that lives
... How long will you stay before it gets lighter, living, more hopeful and open and the blowing clutter is cleared away?
... Don't leave too soon though, for there's comfort in your enveloping hold over me
... you will always be a part of me.
This is a poem (?) I wrote a couple of years ago about depression while going through my whole Vegas catastrophe. I can feel winter coming. The days are getting shorter and darker. I'm winding up with landscaping and camp and when I'm not as busy any more, I fall into a state of apathy (like I'm supposed to be leaving today to go to Myrtle Beach and could care less, so I'm not going).
Last year, I didn't work through the winter and it wasn't good for me. Too much time to think about things and too much alone time. I'm lining up a job and have a few irons in the fire and hopefully that will keep me busy until Spring. I'm also trying to make decisions about things in my life that don't make me happy (like camp and massage) and continuing to get things accomplished. Being idle isn't good for me. Being an American Idol... that would be fun!!
did you write this??
ReplyDeleteI used to be a psychiatric nurse ( I have worked most of my career as a spinal injury nurse) and know how depression hits......
peace
john