Coughing Up a Lung (and other vital organs)

Doctor's Office Visit:  $80
Medicines: $14
Being told to stay in bed and watch TV, guilt-free:  Priceless

After coughing and wheezing for the last couple of weeks, I got back yesterday from Philly/NY and went to the doctor this morning... turns out I have Bronchitis... so the doctor gave me a steroid of some sort and an anti-bionic (as I call them).  I actually feel better today than I have, but I'm going to take the meds anyway.  I'm also starting to ween myself off of my depression medicine, to be off that in the next couple of weeks.  I hate being on it and, to my delight, the doctor said that it has effected my weight gain... so it's good to know that I'm not a big fat girl and it's just the meds.

Random Pics From New York City

I wanted to take a moment to apologize to some of my friends who I drunk-dialed on Saturday night at 12:45 a.m. while in New York City.  Apparently I called a few people while in a cab (that clearly wasn't the Cash Cab game show from Discovery Channel)... and with a few too many drinks in me and a cab driver who was willing to play along and ask us a question, it was all too real for me... enough to make a few mobile shout-outs.  If I did call you, sorry... if I didn't... consider yourself lucky (although you might want to think about why I didn't think you were smart enough to answer the question).

Since I didn't use my computer that much on my trip, these are the pics that I took but didn't upload...

The Awakening

I just looked at the weather for this week... all days in the upper 50's... and Friday being 62.  I'm absolutely giddy... but still realistic to know that it's just a tease... especially since last year, we had frost the first week of May.  Still, I'm going to soak it in.  I know that I've had the advantage of spending most of December and some of January in Florida this year, but for me, Winter didn't seem to be too bad or too long this year... even though it was one of the worst we have had in a long time.  If it was terrible, I'm glad that I was in some sort of haze to think otherwise.  Lucky me. 

I'm driving back to Pittsburgh today.  I had a great time while I was here and spent some time with friends.  Yesterday, I got to feed the squirrels again in downtown Philly... but whatever is going on with my body, I gave up mid-day and came back and just took it easy.  I have to see the doctor when I get home immediately.

Lazy Sunday

Last week, when I was out in the snow cutting down trees in the damp air, I must have caught something, because all week, I've had terrible chest congestion.  Walking around in NYC (stupidly, with only two shirts on because I didn't want to carry a cumbersome jacket), it made it so much worse... not to mention the drinks and screaming in the bars.  Cars, trains, subways, crowded streets.... too many people and too many germs.  I'm prety sure that it's full-blown bronchitis at this point, if not pneumonia.  I've been O.D.ing on Dayquil every couple of hours to no avail.  I couldn't wait to get back and take a shower or ten yesterday and then  I met up with my friend Jim and we had lunch and just hung out, lounging, all night, talking.

With another beautiful day out, I have some errands to do then meeting up with Jim again.  I'm heading home tomorrow, in time to see Alice in Wonderland tomorrow night with the gang.  It's been a great trip, getting to do some things and see some people, but I'm looking forward to my 'me' time in the truck on the way home... and to recover in my own bed for a few days.

Big Day in the City

The day in New York City was great... there's nothing like spending the day amongst a million New Yorkers... taking in all the sites.  The show that we saw was very entertaining (and the longest running show ever)... then we went into Central Park to feed the squirrels... then met up with a friend of mine that I haven't seen for ten years and we had dinner, followed by drinks... followed by more drinks, etc.  The plan was to head back around 9pm but we wound up staying overnight.  There's not a cloud in the sky and it's a little about 55 degrees here in Philly... absolutely beautiful. 

Oh My Goodness!!

RUN!!!!  There's a big ball of fire in the sky!!!!....... surely, it must be the end of the world!!  It's supposed to be 55 degrees today... and 60 tomorrow.  Could this be Spring?

Little Girl in a Big City (or two)

I headed into Philly to meet with Jim, a friend of mine... we grabbed breakfast at a really cool little place... and hung out talking.  I'm at a coffee shop in the 'gayborhood'... it's probably right around 50 degrees... with no signs of snow on the ground and the sun brightly shining... it's a good day and Spring is right around the corner.  I love walking around the city... you see so many interesting things and there's so much energy.  I miss this city a lot as well as New York City.  Something that people might not know about me is that I love feeding the squirrels in Central Park.  I pick up some warm walnuts from a street vendor and can sit on a park bench for hours... most times, they come sit on the bench with you and, on occasion, they will sit on your shoulder as you feed them.  It's crazy rabid, I know... but there's nothing like that connection with a wild animal.  I especially like the black squirrels in Toronto... my ex, John was over me wanting to always stop and feed them.  Again, very therapeutic for me.

Tomorrow, my friend Eddie and I are going toNYC to hang out... and to see the musical The Fantastics on Broadway.  I'll have to wear something with a lot of toulle and taffeta and pull out a pair of my Manolo Blahniks (although a sensible shoe is always best for the city) to do Carrie Bradshaw proud.  Perhaps I'll have a Cosmo at a quaint little bar?  Who knows when you're a girl on the go.

Shame, Shame, Shame...

I hope that all Republicans are proud of themselves today (see link below).... when nothing works in this country, it's not difficult to see why... again... they're the ones with the guns, too.  We're doomed.  Proudly belonging to that party is just an advertisement that you're an idiot and can't think for yourself.  While Democrats can be stupid too, why don't we just work together... isn't that what America is built on?  We're embarrassing and ridiculous. Death to bipartisanism!! 

Republicans are Assholes...

What?

On The Streets of Philadelphia

I had a great trip... beautiful weather, good music (Danny Gokey's new CD) and a non-stop trip of 5.5 hours of 'me' time.  My friend, Eddie, and I are going to New York City on Saturday to see the Fantastics... should be a fun, cosmopolitan day.

Home Away From Home

I leave for Philly this morning... what an absolutely perfect day to travel... not a cloud in the sky.  I love the open road... to just get in the car and go, most times without a destination (sounds a little like my life, actually).  Seeing new things... meeting new people... being out there in life as it happens.  And Philadelphia is one of my favorite places.  Having lived there for 12 years, I know it like the back of my hand... full of history... energy... and the home of many of my good friends.

The Girls...

Tonight on AI, it was the girls turn since Crystal Bowersox had some sort of illness yesterday and they had to switch the days.  Opening the show, wearing her shabby chic and dreads, her performance was excellent and she's my new favorite

Lily Allen, with her white hair and heavy makeup, is truly original and has a great voice and gave Crystal a run for her money. She's quirky and is very recordable.

But for me, it was Katelyn Epperly who I thought stole the show, sitting behind the white piano and singing in a slow, sultry tone.  Despite the fact that the song was slow,it was excellent and I really felt it.

Also quite spectacular was Siobhan Magnus, who sang an Aretha Franklin song and hit a note that a white girl shouldn't be able to hit.  She is definitely the dark horse in the competition, always doing something that you don't expect.

There's a lot of good talent this year... and with some bad song choices and nerves... the girls are either hit or miss.  With half of them stating that they just want to have fun up on the stage and the other half trying too hard... it's a bit of a frustration.

An Original Poem

I wrote this a few years back at a point where I was questioning how I was perceived by people... and what I allowed myself to show people.  By holding back or putting up a facade, you really only hurt yourself.


WHAT DO YOU SEE IN ME?
shyness, conceit, confidence, vulnerability, loneliness, passion, creativity, vulgarity, eroticism, emotion..?

              DO YOU SEE IN ME...
what I am or what I want to show you? How do you know which is which? How do I know? Am I capable of knowing or distinguishing or presenting?

                       YOU SEE IN ME...
what you want to see. Do you take the time to know me or am I already fulfilling your needs? Do you need or want more?

                                SEE IN ME...
all the layers and possibilities... all the emotions... all of what I am. There is more than just the facade. Give me a chance to show you.

                                        IN ME...
there is a caring, lonely person wanting to be accepted, understood and loved as just...
                                               ME.

The Guys...

Tonight on American Idol, it was supposed to be the girl's night, but one of them was taken to the hospital, so the guys went instead.  Overall, the night was a disaster and while some improved... some... clearly did not. 

Tim Urban returned using his 'get out of jail free' card after a mangled performance last week.  Three out of 4 judges said that it wasn't good... and Simon basically said that he applauded his coming back, listening to the critique from last week and doing much better.  Not to mention that he looked adorable as ever, with his little manly-muscles arms and chest bulging out of his cute red t-shirt... and the hair that you just want to run your hands through. 

Anyway, another markedly better performance was by Alex Lambert, who I think actually did the best job.  He's cute, rocks the mullet, has a very commercial voice and is relevant. Out of any performance so far (boys and girls), his would have been the only one that I would buy on itunes.

Interesting that Tim and Lee were the last two... almost like they pitted them against each other... and coincidental that they are both likely candidates for dating.  With his soulful, raspy voice, Lee could do well in the competition if he can get his nerves under control as well as his pitch and loosen up on stage.  He's definitely no David Cook, and that's who he'll be compared to week after week.

Who will be my AI BF?... lol.... IKN... yet. TTYL

Are You Talking About My Friends?

Tonight's Tuesday night movie was The Crazies. Since I didn't pick the movie, I didn't know what to expect but, curiously named and too coincidental meeting my friends for it, it very well could have been a documentary on our group for all I knew.  Oddly, only Matt and I actually made it to the movie... and if I had to pick anyone out of my friends that would shoot up his coworkers in a shame spiral of insanity, it would be him... so I was already uneasy going into it.

A reinvention loosely based upon the George Romero classic of the same name, The Crazies is about the inhabitants of a small Kansas town suddenly plagued by the mysterious insanity in the townspeople.  As the story unfolds, you start to realize what caused it and when the government swept in to contain the situation... the few sane ones are left to fight the crazies and the government... with nowhere to escape but their lives depending on it.

Questioning everyone's dwindling sanity throughout, this movie is a mixture of Zombieland (without the humor) and The Happening.  Full of chilling unexpected surprises, I was screaming like a little schoolgirl and flailing my arms and legs about my head and neck ten minutes into it (Matt was embarrassed).  With a good storyline that keeps you interested, it delivers the chills and thrills.  I'd give it 4.5 drooling, bloody zombies out of 5 for the horror of it all.  Is it Oscar-worthy?... hell no... but it's great entertainment.  Rottentomatoes.com gave it a 70%, which is very high.

The Fine Print...

Most of my friends know that I have a weird sense of humor... often sarcastic and nit-picky... dark and bizarre... I usually will laugh at myself before I laugh at someone else... unless you're really messed up, then I'd probably laugh at you first... oh, and if you trip and fall... I love that shit too... but I digress...

People that know me, know that I am usually going for a laugh with the things that I say... like putting kids in trunks of cars or putting them to work in a sweat shop (but is there really anything wrong with that?)... and I don't really think that I am dating anyone from American Idol (they're dating me)...  etc., etc... so before you flood my mail room with tons of complaint letters (especially with me down a person in that department) or send the FBI or the looney bin after me... just take it with a grain of salt... and maybe a pickle on the side.  You can have mine... I hate them.

OK

Just proves the theory that you shouldn't just go pushing buttons when you don't know what you're doing... you could get yourself into trouble.

The City of Brotherly Love

Over the last couple of months, I've been looking to make some changes in myself and my life; removing myself from some toxic situations, attending a workshop, making some goals, making decisions based on happiness... all therapeutic despite not sitting in a shrink's office for hours on end (plus, it's a given that my Mom's to blame anyway).  Anything we do to search for ourselves, our sanity or peace can be therapeutic.  Reading my mindless magazines or watching silly programs... all therapeutic in a way. 

Recently, I've been taking a look at my massage and how I see it going forward.  Taking more of a factory assembly line approach to it hasn't made me that happy, so I'm looking for some balance and clarity.  On one hand, it might be what my purpose is (to continue massage), but maybe I'm missing it.  Being handed the keys to a Jaguar and going to the parking lot and sticking them into every Honda isn't going to further my journey and neither is driving it like a 4x4 when I do get it going.  Having said that, I met with some local people (Timothy and Jimmi (not pictured)) related to my workshop in December that live here, and we've decided to work together... me providing much-needed therapeutic body work and them working with me on my spiritual side (or as I jokingly refer to it as hocus pocus).  Massage is about so much more than just physical touch, and it's the energy transferrance and more spiritual aspects that can be more beneficial. 

People from the class have become very close (like brothers) and, having done some exploratory work themselves, they have been a great help to me (for which I am deeply appreciative)  in which direction to go in becoming more at peace with myself, my surroundings and life and how that will tie into my massage.  A huge difference from religion, spirituality is anything that you want it to be.  For me, it's something that you seek, where religion (for me) has been something that has sought me out, and then subsequently tried to ram itself down my throat, blah blah blah.  And while I don't see myself (nor am I seeking this path) at the airport handing out flowers in a Martha Stewart 800-count Egyptian cotton sheet, it doesn't have to be about that any way.  It could be as simple as opening my boundries to accept things that I haven't before... taking time to breathe correctly... become more directed and positive in my actions... or self-acceptance.

I'm heading to Philly on Thursday for six days to see some of my friends... some involved in the work and some not (since I lived out there for 12 years).  I'm looking forward to seeing them. 

(From above:  Nick, Jim   Below: Al and Scott(my ex who owns the place in Florida) ... and me and  Eddie)

The Babies Are Coming....

I feel guilty when friends of mine send me pictures of their babies or kids because I'm really not a kid person... show me your puppy pictures and I'm right there, though. Besides, babies smell like poop.  I guess maybe when they can push a lawnmower, they're ok then.  I believe there's a place for kids in our world; in the trunk of the car or in a shoe factory in some third-world country crankin' out some Air Jordans perhaps.  Anyway... this movie is coming out and I think it's so simple that it's hilarious... check out the very last scene on the trailer... maybe it's the goat that's so hilarious and the movie should be called "Goats".  The movie follows 4 babies from birth until they take their first steps, each in their own surroundings.

So Long, Farewell....

This morning, I turned the TV on and I almost cried... all my regulary scheduled programs are back on tonight now that the Olympics are over.  It's been a long couple of weeks of hours upon hours of athletes fighting for the same goal... don't slip and fall.  Full of controversy, a death, lack of snow and a big faulty lighter, it was magical for record amounts of viewers.  And although the U.S. won with 37 medals total but not the most gold medals... maybe the world won't hate us as much. 

In a further attempt to procrastinate (from working on my Dad's again), I may be taking a trip out to Philadelphia for a few days to visit some friends before I get started with landscaping.