Settling Down (Finally)

If you've read any of my older posts from about a year ago or so, you know all that I've gone through with my brother (the addict) and my nephew (after he saw what my brother was getting away with) and the things they've done to my Dad, trying to rip him off.  It's been months since I've heard from my brother, which is a good thing... and after some negotiations regarding the school loans that my nephew got my Dad to co-sign and subsequently went into default, he has made a huge turn around in his life.  With a new job at a college where he can finally finish his degree for free, an apartment of his own and taking responsibility for his financial situation, he is well on his way to becoming a man.  Now 25, it's about time that Tony gets on track.

Recently, he met Devin and they are now engaged.  Since it was his first girlfriend that got him into a heap of trouble to begin with years ago, I'm hoping that history won't be repeating itself and that he will settle down and continue on his path.  I haven't met her yet, but she seems to be level-headed from what he said... and with his recent accomplishments, she must have had something to do with it.

Our history hasn't been exactly good.  I moved to Philly for his first twelve years shortly after he was born.  I was the absentee Uncle, which meant that I was always good for buying him something when I came home, and that was about it in his eyes.  We now have been able to develp a relationship, which I am happy about.  Being adopted, having my Mom pass away when I was 28, dealing with my brother's crap and not having any sort of relationship with my Dad until we moved in together a couple of years ago... I've had a rather fractured sense of family... always having been closer to my friends.  It's an interesting feeling for him to be one of the few people that I actually have a blood connection.  My brother is technically my half brother, and although there is a blood connection, there's no hope of us ever having any sort of meaningful relationship.  Short the other 6 or 7 half brothers and sisters that I have that I don't see, my nephew will be it for me in my lifetime.  And although it's a relatively simple concept (blood relations) for everyone else in the world, it's an experience that I won't experience much in my life.  It leaves me feeling vulnerable, hoping that he doesn't screw it up again.