Hodge Podge

It's been a busy couple of days.  I was able to get my Uncle's foundation painted and wrapped up before the weather is supposed to change a little bit this week.  I'll spend some time at the Marriott in the beginning of the week wrapping up Fall clean up before the snow comes.  I bought a snow blower yesterday... watch, we won't get any snow to use it, since they said it was supposed to be an average Winter.  Monday, I have a cleaning lady coming to give the house a good cleaning (my Dad's areas)... and possibly they will come twice a month.  At $15 an hour, have at it... I can't get caught up to save my life.  I also picked up a carpet cleaner and I need to do the steps and the long entry throw rugs as well as my truck.  They finally got the building across the street from me finished and we got our first neighbors to move in... a young couple.  Now I can't walk around in my bedroom naked with the blinds up.  They are still building more units.  It's amazing how many people are renting, since they can't get mortgages.  We're meeting with the funeral home to go over my Dad's arrangements (to pre-pay), so that should be interesting.  I got all of his automatic withdrawals from his old checking account switched over and a bunch of things cleaned up.

Last night, Matt had a really nice party... there were about 12 of us... he jokes (or maybe not) that it was my party, since I invited a bunch of our friends so that it would be a nice turnout.  His normal spread of a half-opened bag of pretzels and some TV show on Hulu playing in the background was a thing of the past, replaced by a nice spread of food, a full bar and trendy (albeit loud) music in the distance.  As it normally goes, we all sat around talking about the escapades at camp.  Giuseppe (I call him Yippy) came, and I think he had a good time.  He is fitting in well with the crowd.  I am heading over there tonight for dinner with 6 of his friends.  I'm trying to control my anxiety, since I don't do well in social settings like that... so we'll see. 

My brother is in a rehab facility (again)... I'm not sure if he checked himself in or what happened, since we never get the full story.  With every time this happens, it becomes more apparent that no matter what we do to help him, he needs to really hit rock bottom, which he never seems to accomplish.  My Dad wants nothing to do with him, and I'm hoping that this will be the opportunity, in the name of his progress, for us to remove ourselves completely from his situation so that he can grow.  Easier said than done.  The pattern is always one of his 'seeing the light' and then he needs all this help on the new path and if we don't help him, then we get guilt for 'how we can be so cruel'.  There's better odds of winning at the craps... but I'm going to step up to the table and take my turn to throw the dice regardless.

By this time of the year, I am well into my depression pill regimen, but I've chosen to not go that route this year.  With all that has been going on and the nice weather, as well as things coming together, working out and dating... I feel good about my decision so far.  The Florida trip will hit right in the middle of the 'death month' (December is when everybody I know that passed away, passed away) and the dreaded holidays... so a good shot of sun will do me good.  And although most of those things are tangible situations and my depression is chemical, you never know when the shit will hit the fan... but so far, the blades aren't even moving and there's no load of crap brewing, so to speak, so it looks good.  I'm looking forward to Xmas this year... I got an early present in the love that Yippy has shown me, even though our relationship is still in the early stage.  He's a great guy... in fact, it confuses me since it's been a while since I've dated anyone that has their shit together and treats me well.  It feels good.


My friend Robin sent me this... I thought it was very profound... and much-appreciated...

;) . . . / \ . . . (;


Ellipsis and Solidus



It starts with a smile, then a step, then another, and another. You are ready to take a chance and trust. You lean in, but there is space; this space is everything you are, and everything you aren't, to each other. There is room to breathe, room to grow. What matters is that neither of the points can ever hit the ground. If one starts to fall, the other will catch it. If they both fall at the same time, they will save each other.