Gone to the Birds

Today, it was back at my Dad's again.  He was busy painting the basement (starving the roller)... while I was all over the house trying to get things done.  I hooked up the bathroom sink and drain and thoroughly cleaned the bathroom (which is completely done).  I've used the Mr. Clean Magic Erasers in the past... but I just couldn't believe what a great job it did on the bathtub, the shower stall downstairs and all the kitchen cabinets inside and out.  I started to put the new knobs on but they don't fit.  I still have so much to do yet before Monday, and tomorrow may be a landscaping day.

I'm really tired.  All the scrubbing not only exhausted me, but pissed me off as well.  It's hard for me to be over there, devoting all this time to fixing and cleaning the place up... and all the while, I am fuming inside that my brother made all this mess and I'm stuck cleaning it up.  Same with my nephew (that used to live there for a summer) and my brother's friend.  None of them did a thing but make a mess.  Somehow, I have to find a way to work through this anger and resentment I have for them. It just amazes me that, with all the money they conned my Dad out of, and continue to in ways... I'm the one that is doing all the work and they're nowhere to be found. 

Early this morning at my Dad's, I heard this sound at the back door.  There used to be these wooden lattice panels that I took off, and I think it's confusing the birds.  All day long, this cute little bird tried getting in and then would fly around to the other window and just look in at me (from the bottom right box in the pic).  If there's one thing that I inheirited from my Dad, it's his love of birds.  With his birdfeeder mounted outside our balcony... and bird book in one hand and binoculars in the other... it's the Price Is Right and bird watching from my leather couch that I never get to sit on because I'm never home every day.  I'm about to mount the hummingbird feeder out there as well.  My whole life has gone to the birds.

The Devil's Playground...

I don't think it's any big surprise to anyone that I'm not a kid person, at least until they are old enough to push a lawn mower or make tennis shoes.... but give me puppy any day though.  Here are some interesting playgrounds that seem to solve the children over-population problem or offer some challenges for their ever-curious minds...

And my favorite playground of all.... (what a nice place this must be)

The Old Gray Mare....

Today was another day over at my Dad's.  It was sunny and nice much longer than they said it would be, and I started second guessing my decision to go there instead of getting some outdoor work done... until I saw Elmira Gulch and a random cow go flying by the window.  It surely rained and was pretty windy.

I don't know if you've ever cut a hole in a formica top for a sink or not, but it aint easy, that's for sure... for many reasons.  One wrong cut and you're done... you have to go get another top.  I managed not to mess it up, got the sink attached... attached the base cabinets to the wall and the countertop to the base cabinets... a little plumbing magic and voila... water that goes down a drain.  Other than a light cleaning... and gluing on the countertop end piece... and changing out the knobs... the kitchen is done.  Tomorrow, I will do a few odds and ends and clean the entire house... and it will be listed on Monday.

I had to get some copper fittings to solder to the existing pipes so that I could hook up the sink and the first time around, I got the wrong size.  Long story short, I told my Dad to shut the water off so that I could open the lines and have it all drain out so I could solder.  I had had enough for the day at that point, we both left the house, I went and got the right fittings and was going to go home... but something told me to go back and get the soldering done.  I walked in the house and the water was pouring out of the kitchen pipes, through the floor and into the basement.  Here, my Dad didn't turn the shutoff valve off enough.  Thank goodness I went back 20 minutes later instead of waiting until tomorrow. 

When things like that happen, there are a miriad of things that go through my mind.  I don't double check what my Dad does because I don't want to make him feel useless and he wants to help... or I don't get mad at the outcome.  What upsets me is that my Dad is getting older.  And things like his strength and mind are going.  I feel like that strong Dad that can fix anything is slipping away.  And since I've never really been close with him until the last couple of years... I can't help but feel a void in my life of time missed.  But, the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be... are any of us though?

I've been posting some fluff lately... mainly because not too much is going on that I haven't been talking about... landscaping, work at my Dad's, sleep, repeat...

And with this pattern, I am the happiest that I've been in a long while.  Working is a drug for me.  I feel best when I'm accomplishing something and tired at the end of the day.  Add to it beautiful weather and the trees and flowers sprouting... what more can someone ask?

That's Just a Bunch of Craziness...

Let Loose

Proving that you can have a wild and crazy night, even if you're a big weiner... and, without reason (actually, for various)... I'm strangely turned on by this pic...

Timmy Makes It Through

In a double elimination week... Tim manages to squeak through again... donning his winning smile and manly-muscle arms....  it was pitchy in places... but who cares... look at him.  :)

Pro (re) gress?

This is one of those days where everything went right... I watched my shows last night but still got good sleep and was up very early and out the door... I got a lot done at the Marriott today and went over another project there that I'll be putting together... they are thrilled with the work that I'm doing.  I got paid by them for an invoice I sent them 6 days ago... I got another small unrelated job today... I spoke to my real estate agent and she will be listing it on Monday and thinks she has someone to show it to and that they are busy and it should sell fast... I made a fresh pitcher of my flavored ice coffee.. did two loads of laundry... going to get the countertop for the kitchen to finish it up on Friday... AI and all my favorite shows are on tonight...

It has all the makings for an excellent day... and I'm not complaining... I'm just like... whatever... good for me.  Ever have one of those days?

The Last Song

Today, I was able to get all the trim up and all the touchups done... only the countertop and sink plumbing needs to be done and the kitchen will be done... I should have it listed by early next week, with a severe cleaning still needing to be done.

Tonight, I decided to go catch a movie... and although it's Tuesday Night Movie Madness night... we haven't gotten together in the last couple of weeks for one reason or another... plus, camp starts this weekend, so it's time for it to come to an end until Fall any way.  Most times not getting to see movies that I want to see, picking songs for the masses.... I went to see what I wanted to... which was 'The Last Song', with Miley Cyrus and her hunky new boyfriend that she met on the set.  Knowing full well that it was a tear-jerker, I was prepared for the plot.  What I wasn't prepared for was her acting.  I can honestly say that I don't like her... nothing about her.  The movie was nice... it would have been better with someone else in it.  I enjoyed it, but I really don't have anything to say about it (I know, hard to believe).  It would have been better had the other 6 people in theater not crumpled plastic wrappers and talked the ENTIRE time. 

I have AI to watch and GLEE.... Tim Urban really did a nice job on Elvis' I Can't Help, Falling In Love With You (yet another performance dedicated to me... I know you miss me, Tim).  Dare I say he did the best tonight?   

Old Lady Blues...

I swear, sometimes I'm like such a little old lady... set in my ways with my routines... doing my crossword puzzles... sitting down watching my Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune with a nice glass of Metamucil... and having the weather channel on constantly in the background when I'm putzing around the house, redding up and all.  I am really effected by the weather... especially the damp, forty degree weather that we're having today.  I get so cold... much more so then when we have 20 degree weather.  Probably my arthritis or rheumatism or something.  It cuts right through me like a letter opener on a Publisher's Clearinghouse sweepstake notice or social security check envelope.

Yesterday, it was a pretty productive day at my Dad's.  I got the floor glued down, the base cabinet put back in, some trim put up and my brother painted the front and back doors while my Dad (actually, I have no idea what he did all day).  We also got some more things down for trash pickup... it feels great to finally see a light at the end of the tunnel... hopefully it's not a train coming to run my ass down.  Supposed to be doing landscaping today, I'm off to my Dad's for more work to be done instead, with the rain.

With our lease on the townhouse coming due, we've decided to stay here for another year.  A lot of my neighbors have moved out and some new ones moving in.  A nice family moved in next to us last night.  The crappy landscapers that cut our grass came by, in the rain, to make a mess out of everything.  They're so bad (but so cute too, so I'll struggle through it). 

GLEE IS BACK ON TONIGHT!!!!   If you didn't get a chance to check it out before their hiatus.... check it out.... it's the best show!!

Nick

Yesterday, I got a call from Matt that Nick, his dog, hadn't been doing well getting around and was at the dog sitter's.  Since his flight was delayed, I went and picked Nick up and took him home and sat with him until Matt got home around midnight.  Having been given an estimated 2-3 months (5 months ago), Nick had been doing really well, albeit losing weight and dealing with the tumors... but he was very happy and even active.  When I picked him up at the sitter's, he couldn't walk and was very tired.  He was very happy to see Matt when he walked through the door, but it was more of the same today with little hope of him getting any stronger and, hopped up on pain meds, whether he was suffering or not, so it was time.

Nick was one of the most loyal dogs I've ever seen, with a communication between them that didn't require words.  Almost 14, he never rested, always looking to see what Matt was doing and followed him around endlessly by his side.  I met them at a park this afternoon and we sat in the sun.  Last night, while at my feet, not able to get up... Nick was sleeping and you could see that he was dreaming... all four of his legs moving as if he was running in the woods like he always has... and now, he is again...

This is one of my favorite songs from Lord of the Rings... and my definite favorite of Annie Lennox...

Into The West - For Nick

Progress

Today, I went over to my Dad's and got some stuff done... some plumbing issues resolved... laid out the one-piece linoleum floor and got it cut and down (but not glued)... etc.  I got the light covers back on and installed the range hood.  I'm making baby steps, but it's going well and I hope to have it listed mid-week.  My Dad was in the garage getting the walls painted... it looks really good.  Tomorrow, my brother and I will get the floor glued, get the baseboards cut and get the base cabinets back in, ready for the new countertop.  Some lady stopped by that saw it 3 months ago... she was amazed at how different it looked.  She may be interested now... we'll see.

I Go Out Walkin', After Midnight...

Last night, I went to this little straight bar in Rochester, PA to see my friend Julie sing with her band.  Their's was the opening act, but it should have been the headliner (if my management company had anything to do with it (look how far I've gotten Tim Urban))... it was good to hear Julie's sing live for the first time in over 25 years.  Being her biggest fan and organizer of a few fan clubs (The Jul Tones..  The Jul-eries... I'm not Lisa, my name is Julie (only for those who remember the late 70's))... it's great that she's using her instrument and talent.  It was a fun night had by all.

Very confusing for me in a straight bar, it's hard to relax and it's a bit like kryptonite.  At first I'm looking at the straight guys, then realizing they are straight and with the girls... then I (ever so briefly) look at the girls (spit up in my mouth a little bit) and flirt with a girl with a guy, then look at the guy, remember that he's straight and then run to the nearest gay bar where my powers are fully functional, but the guys are fully disfunctional.  It's a scarring process and the reason I stay out of straight bars.  Either way, I walk out empty-handed.

YUM !! Cowpokes

It's a Bit Nipply Outside

On this chilly morning (of 30 degrees)... I can't help but be filled with warmth for my friend Matt... who is in Florida... so, it's with great love that I send this message to him:

Enjoy your vacation (bitch)... I hope you have a great (not) day... and the rays of the sun come down and caress your skin like (sunburn) the hands of an angel... and you get refreshed by the bite of (a crab) the warm Gulf waters... and the wind blows (sand) at your back...and you experience some of the local (vagrants) people and cuisine (seagull droppings) and get a taste of (salmonella) the south in all it's glory. Before you know it, we'll be welcoming (with shotguns at the gate) you back to in our embrace (around your neck).  Only the best for you, my friend (pain in the ass).

No Wonder I Didn't Have an Interest in Seeing This Movie

How Much Is Enough (Sleep)?

Yesterday, at or around 5 o'clock, I laid down since I was up pacing the floors with my family drama and didn't get much sleep the night before.  I'm not a napper... most times it sneaks up on me... I get a feeling of tiredness and I'm like, 'ok, are we going go there now?'... and I make a choice to either get up and keep moving or give in (rarely).  It's hard for me to stop thinking.  I shut my phone off and quickly tried to lie down while the feeling was still there... and I did... for 15 hours straight.  I just woke up with 8 messages on my phone from people wondering what happened to me, especially since my phone is never off.  I guess my body had had enough from the last week or so.  I was upset to find when I looked in the mirror this morning, that the 'beauty sleep' myth was exactly that... a myth...   So the question is... how much sleep do I need to get to be a 'pretty little' (something I used to call my dog)?

It's amazing what life throws at us and somehow we are able to process it and move through it, sometimes better for it... sometimes scarred or damaged.  Growing up with my brother as a negative role model put so much pressure on me to be the good one.  I graduated with honors in high school while working two jobs, I moved to a big city and was successful in business without a degree, I stayed away from excessive drinking... never did any drugs (other than a smoke of the whacky tobacky, and I waited until my Mother passed away to do it)... never smoked... and, now, my brother and nephew are going through their messes (45 and 24 years old)... and my Dad at 82... I have become the parent for all of them.  I never signed up for it.  And with my own internal struggles, I am forced to be the face of reason and responsibility when I wish that I could curl up in a ball sometimes myself... and did, post Vegas, and I'm still guilting myself out for failing, being human and falling apart.

I don't think my situation is any different than anyone elses and I'm not trying to make myself out to have such a hard life (although being gay, adopted, losing a parent and beloved pet, taking care of another parent, and having an addicted brother/nephew has the makings).  I'm not a saint nor do I have any super powers... I'm just trodding along like the rest of us.  I'm only a man... do I  not bleed when I get pricked by a jagger bush?  Do I not smell when I step in dog poop?  Do I not break into hives when I wear the color brown?  Do I not shriek in horror at the sight of a weed?  We all have our things.  And although my friend spoke the truth yesterday (in rapid-fire procession), his delivery was at a point where I couldn't take any more.  A hug would have been better. So I hung up on the bitch.  In his defense, he has taken care of an ailing parent, and the reality is, it is what it is.  At least mine isn't ailing yet... just a bit whacky.

Again, with no super powers or God complex (cause I'm sure I'll get hate comments for this parody), this song (at the risk of sounding pretentious and full of myself)  is one that I can relate to... it almost has the power to make me cry, like someone understands.  And so, I dedicate this to all my friends going through their life... trying to fly through the shit storm without coming out a smelly mess on the other side...

Dog Day Afternoon