Redding Up

I decided to take advantage of it being rainy outside yesterday and started to do a deep clean (redding up, as we Pittsburghers say) on the house.  I was able to get two bathrooms and three bedrooms thoroughly cleaned.  I mentioned this on Facebook... but in the case of my Dad who has a bladder problem... you would think that with as many times as he goes throughout the day, that he would have aim down-pat by now.  Not the case and cleaning his bathroom is not fun... in fact, if I'm not going to heaven for other reasons, I hope I at least get a day of free admission and maybe a fast-pass for all the good rides for doing it.

The closing was post-poned until the 13th of October.  I don't have any concrete information, since all I got was a phone message from the Realtor... and other than calling some of the other people that were interested (of which, I have no numbers for) and pulling the deal and starting over again, I guess we will have to wait.  This will be the single-most difficult exercise in patience in my whole life.

YUM!! (Suits and Nerds)

Photo Booth Madness

Piggy

It's Nano Your Business What I'm Listening To...

Facing Monday is never any fun... facing it when it's drizzly and cold is a whole different animal.  I have a really hard time when it's gloomy outside... all those years of manual labor and massage combined with the dampness makes for a body ache that's not fun.  Yesterday, anticipating the rain, I went to the Marriott and got some grass cut and some leaves blown... so today, while I'm in the holding pattern with the closing, I'm just kind of getting caught up on my taped programs before the whole thing starts up this week again with fresh episodes.  I don't usually allow myself to just relax, but it was a particularly stressful weekend... with the cancelled closing and reunion... and finding out yesterday that my Dad co-signed on two other school loans for my nephew that I didn't know about.  I'm pretty close to giving up on trying to protect my Dad, especially when he keeps on 'playing in the middle of the road', so to speak.  It never ends.  I'm not sure that I'll ever get to a point where I can just relax a bit and let my guard down that he's not going to do anything stupid and my brother/nephew aren't planning some sort of attack.  With my brother back with his 'girlfriend' and out of work, it's only just beginning.

Today would be a good day to hold a puppy.  Maybe I'll go buy some flowers... I love having fresh-cut flowers in the house.  Here's what I'm listening to..

25 Years Back, One Step Forward

If you're really honest with yourself, you can't say that a reunion doesn't bring a certain amount of angst with it.  Fortunately, I've worked through a bunch of things and don't care about the rest, so I didn't have too much anxiety, except I would have liked to have had my hat on.  I've worn a hat every day of my adult life and, either from wearing the hat or just nature's cruel joke, my hair is thinning on top.  Still, it's an extension of who I am and I don't quite have the same confidence in myself without wearing it.  In contrast to the people who passed away or were battling some current illness, I decided to shut the f-ck up to myself and be thankful.

I got to the country club after having met with Julie and Laurie in the parking lot of the Eat n Park down the street where we proceeded to scoop out cherry jello shots out of a cooking pan from the back of her Ford Explorer SUV.  The first person that I saw was someone from another grade and I had to wonder if I was in the right place or not.  I went to get my name tag, and they put our class picture next to our name.  A few minutes later, it was pointed out that my picture wasn't of me but, rather, David Pasquarelli.. a classmate that I always used to get mixed up with and that, coincidentally, was also gay and, eerily, deceased.  Out of 328 people in our class, there were 80 that showed up, some with their spouses, but most stag.  Our school was known for it's drinking, and it made sense that we had an open bar from 5:30 until midnight.  For fun, they had a photo booth set up, had a DJ and they were doing a few raffles as well.  After we were served our salad, we were invited to the buffet and then homemade cookies by some of the girls in the class.  For $55.00, it was a great night out.  Julie, Pam and Kim reprised their role as the Andrew Sisters and sung 'Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy'.

Facebook really took a lot of the pressure off in a few different ways.  You kind of knew some of the people that were coming and what they looked like from their pictures... so there weren't really any much-anticipated surprises (like maybe you expected someone to have grown a 3rd appendage or something, were as big as a house or had 15 kids).  If anything, it was surprising to see the ones that haven't aged a bit... like they were cryogenically dipped in some preservative (those bitches, most of them guys).  I really didn't fit in anywhere in high school and I was one of the kids that didn't belong to a lot of groups and just worked a few jobs.  It was pretty clickish still.... the jocks... the nerds... the burn-outs... the smarties (which is who we hung with, barely qualifying with my honors status, as opposed to high honors).  I never realized how much these people made my school years bearable... we had a great time. 

There were a few things that I felt throughout the night... feeling old... feeling like I coulda/shoulda done more with myself... looking for the popular approval still... was missing my youth... wanting to get out of there an hour into it like the sociophobe that I am... but it was a good exercise.  I have no regrets, am thankful for my life and where/who I am and have nothing to prove.  It was nice to go and I'm glad that Julie and Laurie were right there with me the whole time, but I will probably not go to the next one.  Sometimes you just have to turn the page.

Look Out, Romy and Michelle...

Tomorrow night is my 25th high school reunion... I'm all ready... I have the outfit and the attitude...

These are my senior portraits... I graduated high school in 1985... these pics were part of the 'glamour shots' package... it was all the rage at the time. In the pic with the red sweater, you can really see my perm... I used to get it banged out every so often... I would run home and wash it immediately (a hair don't)... then I would blow dry it out with a round brush, but I would leave the back curly and longer (because I was just that cool). Provocative poses for a teen...

Fall?

It's 90 degrees- I just took a 12 mile bike ride on the Montour Trail and now I am lying under a tree in the park. What change of season?

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For The Same Old GOP Message, Press Play (Again)

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-september-23-2010/postcards-from-the-pledge

Don't Know if I'm Coming or Going

I was anchoring too much to the closing today (end of the week, turning over a new leaf, moving on, closure, financial relief) that I don't even know what to do with myself today now that it's been post-poned.  For the first time in a long time, I feel the same feeling I used to get when you were waiting to hear whether you got a job or not... especially when it happened on a Friday and you knew nothing was going to happen on the weekend.  I have been building up to today for over 6 weeks (or really, almost two years) and now, I'm not sure that I'm not going to go mad until it's rescheduled.

With the mounting pressure of all of this, I can't help but feel the need for escape.  I've been a pressure cooker for the last two years waiting for the closing and now I have to wait more time.  I'm not the kind of person that runs from problems, but when they are solved, I long for some down time.  I love the open road... so much so that I actually considered being a truck driver (except that I like taking a bath a few times a day, don't know any dirty ho's that would ride with me and I have all my teeth (some in a box that I would keep on the dashboard, but still)).  Recently, I have thought about getting a little 17' travel trailer that I could pull with my truck and be able to just get in and go... or go to camp with it for a couple weekends a year.  The idea of freedom on wheels is very appealing.  I found one in Indiana, PA but the guy is either the worst salesman ever or doesn't want to sell it after all, since he can't seem to figure out a time for me to see it.  (UPDATE:  The trailer was sold)

Truck Gets a Day of Beauty

With having my truck almost a year now , it was time for a day of beauty including a state inspection and oil change and new tie rods (as a result of the inspection). Other than getting a speeding ticket and going to the dentist, there's nothing worse than wasting time waiting for your car to be repaired.  $270 and 8 hours later, it's done for another year.  The notice was hanging in their garage...

As far as the house goes, I still don't have a time for the closing tomorrow...  (UPDATE:  The closing has been post-poned until next week now since the buying couple isn't married, and the bank wants a copy of the guy's divorce papers).

What's Up With DADT?

Yesterday, a bill failed to pass that would have repealed the Don't Ask, Don't Tell legislature... mainly because the Republicans purposely didn't want it to be passed so that the President couldn't scratch it off his 'to do' list and it looks like there's any change happening... because we all know that's not what the Republicans want.  The bill was attached (on purpose) to a defense budget authorization bill which included a pay raise for soldiers in an attempt to get it to slide through, but it didn't work.  Since it's inception (17 years ago), over 13,000 soldiers were discharged and a large majority of them were 'squealed' on.  This is just another example of how backward we are as a country.  With all the things that are going on in the country/world, this is what we focus on.  I guess there would be too many random dry-humps going on in the middle of battle because, as you know, the gays just can't keep it in their pants... even when being shot at.  They feel that it would be a distraction in battle.  How about having girls in the military in some 500 to 1 ratio... like that's not going to create problems.  The only hope to repeal now is through the court system.

And for those wondering why it's such a big deal... and why do the gays have to push their 'agenda'... it's because of this...

Yesterday, following the DADT repeal fail, Joe Jervis received a comment on his blog that read "All faggots must die". Joe began tracing the IP address of the comment, (its author identified himself as Jimmy) and discovered that it came from the Atlanta office of Senator Saxby Chambliss,(Republican).  If we didn't have to worry about walking down the street and being killed, then it wouldn't be such a big deal, I suppose.

In honor of the defeat... I thought I would cheer the day up by making it gay... We're here, we're queer... and we're not going anywhere...  We're all around, in everything... and we're going to steamroll the country with our 'gay agenda'... making everything colorful and fun and campy... look out!!

Made in the USA

Whether you're trying to buy American to support the country or you have a growing concern for the quality of products made in another country, here is a list of the first couple of numbers in a bar code sequence that indicates where the product originated.

690-692 --- MADE IN CHINA
00 - 09 ... USA & CANADA
30 - 37 ... FRANCE
40 - 44 ... GERMANY
471 ... Taiwan
49 ... JAPAN
50 ... UK

Easy A

Tonight, Matt and I went to see Easy A, starring Emma Stone and a few other young stars... but it was the adult stars that stole the show... especially the parents, Patricia Clarkson and Stanley Tucci... the movie was laugh-out-loud funny and definitely a must-see.  A take off of the classic tale, The Scarlett Letter, Olive helps out a few misfit students get a studly reputation by having them say that they slept with her... and it makes her very popular at first, but then the whole school turns on her, teaching her that it's not so fun to be the outcast.  When she tries to right her wrong, the people that she helped wasn't there to help her by telling the truth.  While it wasn't as non-stop hilarious as I expected, it is very entertaining and well done.  Again, it's all the adults that have the funniest parts and fortunately, they get a lot of screeen play.

Potpourri, For $1000, Alex

The beginning of the week is usually when I go meet my friend, Scott, at the casino, but since he had to head back to Columbus to pack up his apartment for his move to camp, I was on my own.  So, with a bug up my ass, I got done cutting at the Marriott and figured I'd go.  So at 8:15, I left... and didn't get back home until around 3 a.m.  With no agenda or time frame, I just sat and played my games, befriending a few blue-hairs... at one point, I was down about $40, then cashed out my final game at $87, leaving with a few bucks in my pocket for a change.  I find it very therapeutic and, since I really don't go there to win, it's no pressure.

I know I owe an E! update already and since the most exciting Hollywood news was Zac Efron grew some facial hair (and looks like a pedophile) and Ricki Lake burned down her house trying to fill a space heater with kerosene, and somehow, it ignited... I will just simply say that the biggest news this week is that my 'progrums' started again this week.  It feels like a friend has come back from vacation or something... it's really pitiful.  I went through my DVR and cleaned out shows that were cancelled and set up recordings and priorities for the new ones... Hawaii 5 - O, being one of them.  I remember Jack Lord driving all around Waikiki in his late model, brown, big fat Mercury Marquis... and how could you forget the theme song?  I'm just thankful that I have my DVR to tape it so that, although I am saving time not watching commercials, I use that time to cram in more shows.  No wonder I'm up until 3 a.m. most nights.... I'm already behind from last night's plethora of entertainment.

The glass on my phone screen cracked, so I ordered a replacement and it came yesterday... so I spent most of the day adding the shortcuts, settings, pictures, phone numbers, bookmarks and applications that I had.  You would think that they could have figured a way to have it all transfer seamlessly, but they haven't.  What a pain in the ass.

Everything's still a go for the closing at the end of the week and the reunion.  I am actually going to go buy some new dress pants and perhaps a button-down shirt... something that says that I was smart enough not to get bogged down with kids and looks like I'm going clubbing with 'The Situation' and won't have time to sit around and chit-chat about your life all evening long, even though I do.

If There Was Facebook Throughout Time...

I Am What I Am...

Oddly enough (and hard for some to believe), I didn't feel like talking this weekend and didn't post anything... not that anything happened to talk about.  I mainly just did things around here to get organized and worked at the Marriott yesterday, trimming hedges, etc.  Every little bit towards a clearer head is good.  Getting to the end of the week at the house closing and reunion is my goal.

I spent Friday and Saturday night doing nothing, here at the house, by myself.  I was supposed to go down to camp, but decided that I had too much to do and really couldn't get excited to drive two hours to see people that live 5 minutes from me that never call.  "We missed you at camp this weekend" is all I heard on Sunday... well, pick up the phone, respond to texts and invitations and you might not have to wait until the end of the week to see me.  I am in an uneasy period with some friends right now... it's cyclical... being the one to try to always get people together, it rarely works out... so I get disappointed.  I guess I go wrong when I ask for the common decency of a return call.  Seems like I am the 'go-to' guy when things need getting done, but an after-thought for everything else.  I'm a little tired of it... or maybe of the mentality of the people I surround myself with, which is the reason for not going to camp any more.  Other than the physical location in the woods, I get nothing from being at camp.  If I could get a trailer off by myself and not deal with the bullshit, I would, but it's refreshing to not feel like I am missing anything.

I was supposed to have a date this weekend but it fell through because he was sick.  He picked something up off the cruise that he was on last week.  So we chit-chatted a bit over the weekend and especially last night.  The people lately that I have met are more on the quiet side and, well, we all know that's not me.  I tend to get along well with people who can carry a conversation and it doesn't seem like it's one sided.  I get frustrated when, if I'm not saying something, nothing is said, and I will purposely say nothing just to see how long the silence will go on.  I'm very engaged in the relationship process, especially in the 'getting to know you' phase.  It's exhilarating to learn about other people and vice-versa and the dynamics of how you'd mesh.  I think that, because I try to get people to like me for me (knowing full well that I'm not an easy person to understand), that comes off strong and people don't know how to take me.  Factor in trying to get your point across in a text and being rather direct and non-candy-coating in my verbalization... and it doesn't spell communication success. 

Obviously if someone is talking with you, they are attracted to you physically... that's a given in the dating process... but it seems like sometimes that fogs their focus.  When I asked someone why they thought they wanted to get to know me, the first thing they said was 'you're cute', and although I guess that is a factor in the process, that shouldn't be the main thing.  And that's what makes me push the 'real me' (not what people think I am about) even harder, becoming more insecure that it's who I am on the surface that they/re interested in.  It's like the opposite of what marketing does, which is puts everything up front in a flashy package and hides the fine print.  I do the opposite... I push the fine print for everyone's sake involved. I have nothing to hide and put it all out there at the start.  Maybe that's a hard concept for people to take in. 

I'm not sure what kind of person I need to be with.  I'm happy with who I am and don't need to feel like some sort of circus freak outcast because I am engaged and have an opinion, which is how I felt last night.  I partly wanted to cry, was partly angry at the situation and myself and couldn't fall asleep for hours, analyzing (duh).  Not a good start.

YUM !! (Long Hair)



Logistical Closure

Today, I kicked ass and took names.  What a productive day I had.  I cleaned my room and bathroom early this morning, then went over to my Dad's house to get all my tools and such out of there and remove any furniture/junk left.  I brought all of the tools to our house and then organized all of it, throwing away a bunch of stuff and cleaning out and 'redding' up the garage and the storage closet.  It feels so good to get things accomplished.

Sadly, I have no reason to go back to the other house.  Right now, it's all finance until next Friday at closing, and I'm waiting to see if I feel the need to go back over for an emotional trip... or leave well enough alone., grasping onto my memories of a great childhood.  To add fuel to the fire (letting these people rape me in price), I hear they are tearing out the bathroom and kitchen that I did and some walls in the house.  All that money and time I put in is wasted, although I probably wouldn't have been able to sell it without having done it.  Just show me the money... and let's move on (before I punch them at closing).

Nervous Energy

I woke up around 5:30 this morning, wide awake.  I couldn't get back to sleep because my mind starting running immediately.  Yesterday, I figured on a down day, with the rain.  A little coffee... perhaps a matinee, but I wound up running all over the place getting things done.  A few days ago, I felt overwhelmed... today, I feel on track.  My Dad and I are going over to the other house to clear out my tools and things.  I worked really hard at getting things cleaned up and renovated over there that the day that we listed the house was the last time I did anything.  I cleaned up my tools and put them in bins and there they lay.  I had just had enough.  The closing will be a relief for my laundry list of things to do and only have to think about the emotional part of the sale now.