Pittsburgh: Gaybirds and Jailbirds

I was watching a skit on The Daily Show last night and they did a piece on 'The Gayest Cities in the U.S.'... and was surprised to see that Pittsburgh came in at number 5, beating out New York City, Provincetown and Ft. Lauderdale/Miami... with San Francisco coming in at #11.  WTF?  I have lived in Las Vegas... and I can attest that there isn't much gay life there at all... and as for Pittsburgh... it's fairly gay... but not like NYC, SF and Miami.  The study was done by Advocate Magazine, so you think they'd know what they were talking about.  I don't get it.

When I got out of my old neighborhood, things were getting pretty bad with violence and vagabonds and the like.  Interestingly enough, they just moved the police station 4 blocks away, and it seemed to make things worse.  My Aunt told me the other day of an art student who was shot dead in the neighborhood, but I didn't get any of the details.  I'm not really a news whore so I really don't pay that much attention... figuring if it doesn't happen within 25 feet of me (the idealogy for my original blog name, Trouble in My Bubble), then it's none of my business, having enough to worry about already.  Last night, I just happen to catch the first minute of the news because one of my progrums was ending at that time... and it turns out that the kid was shot 20 feet outside the front door of my old house.  It puts things into perspective... that could have been me, for all the times that I was out front picking up litter, etc.  I'm just glad that I got out of there.  What is this world coming to?

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Weekend Update

I went from never going out on the weekends to it being an every week occurance, and this one was no different.  I look forward to it now... where I never used to.  The bar that we go to is modest and small but lots of fun and I've been hanging out with a whole different crowd that actually likes to do things and have fun.  Friday, we did our normal karaoke night and on Saturday, Carter had his birthday at another bar, but I didn't stay out very late, since I was tired from the night before. 

Last week at the bar, I happened to mention it to the manager that if they needed help bartending (I am certified and worked at the Marriott for 3 years bartending) that I'd be interested.  An hour later, he tapped me on the shoulder and said they were interested.  It became official yesterday... and I start training this Friday at the Blue Moon Bar.  Instead of being in front of the bar slamming Long Island iced teas, I will be behind the bar now.  It's a good opportunity to get myself back into a bartending gig, since that will probably be what I fall back on in my golden years... and will be a foot in the door to maybe get into a bigger bar down the road and will keep me busy in the winter when I'm not landscaping.  It's great money and fun, I just hope I'm not cutting off my nose to spite my face... with a few things planned already this summer, I will be tied up on weekends now, as I'd only be working there Fridays and Saturdays.  At least I get to wear whatever I want and wear my hat. 

My nephew stopped by with his fiance, Devin and we got to meet her.  She seems very down-to-earth and nice and they seem to be happy.  They will be getting married August 2012.  He also made the payments that he needed to make to my Dad, so all is good... for now.

Not sure why... and I'm not going to ask... but we will be having a 4 or 5 day stretch of no rain, complete sunshine and about 70+ degrees all week, starting today.  I'm off to do mulch again today... probably another 12 hour day... I love it!!  Yesterday, I managed to get a long row of hedges trimmed back along the parking lot where there are usually lots of cars.  Sundays, especially those with a holiday, the parking lot is clear, so I get a lot done.  I also managed to pull a few pine trees out in an area that I'm tearing out and replanting with new trees and bushes.  Sadly though, I unearthed a nest of baby birds and they went scampering around.  I managed to get them gathered up and hope that the mother, who was berating me the whole time, can get them resettled.  Nothing makes you feel more like crap than upsetting a mama bird on Mother's Day.

Stefon... Mother's Day Suggestions

Moms The Word

My Mom passed away in 1994. She went over to the beauty parlor to get her hair back-combed and permed, came home and was fiddling with it in the mirror in the bathroom. My Dad was in the kitchen talking to her and he said she started saying things that didn't make sense... words all jumbled and all. She then fell on the floor and was taken to the hospital, suffering from a brain aneurysm.  I lived in Philly at the time and didn't get to talk to her since she was pretty much brain-dead upon arrival.

It's hard when you don't get to say goodbye. I was 28 at the time... and there's a lot of things that I would have loved to have done with her, like take her to plays and musicals since she loved to sing and get dressed up. And although I don't think that we would have ever had the type of relationship where I would have sat down to ask her advice instead of blogging about it... it's a hard pill to swallow that I will never be given the chance.  I don't know what it feels like to have that support system, even down to the basics of having your Mom just give you a much-needed hug.  It's difficult to say how that has affected me and the person that I have become... perhaps self-soothing... stubbornly independent... slightly detached.

 

While I was always closer to my Mom than my Dad, we shared an odd connection that felt somewhat like a rivalry at times.  There was a huge generation gap in thinking, and my early job hopping to get ahead was a theory that she didn't get, given my Dad's track record of being in the same job for 40 years.  I also felt like because my Mom didn't work... didn't drive... and was saddled with two boys (when she would have loved to have had a little girl (she almost got that)) in a remote location, that she wasn't happy.  Getting more details on my adoption would have also given me a sense of foundation and better understanding.  Being able to talk about some of that with her later in life, like now, would have been valuable and therapeutic.  Instead, I can only wonder.

In the pictures, we see her posing like Jacqueline Kennedy or some shit... complete with the dog and the tree like it was 'a night with the first lady' tv special.

Although usually when mad at me, my Mom was the only one allowed to call me 'Dave'.

Settling Down (Finally)

If you've read any of my older posts from about a year ago or so, you know all that I've gone through with my brother (the addict) and my nephew (after he saw what my brother was getting away with) and the things they've done to my Dad, trying to rip him off.  It's been months since I've heard from my brother, which is a good thing... and after some negotiations regarding the school loans that my nephew got my Dad to co-sign and subsequently went into default, he has made a huge turn around in his life.  With a new job at a college where he can finally finish his degree for free, an apartment of his own and taking responsibility for his financial situation, he is well on his way to becoming a man.  Now 25, it's about time that Tony gets on track.

Recently, he met Devin and they are now engaged.  Since it was his first girlfriend that got him into a heap of trouble to begin with years ago, I'm hoping that history won't be repeating itself and that he will settle down and continue on his path.  I haven't met her yet, but she seems to be level-headed from what he said... and with his recent accomplishments, she must have had something to do with it.

Our history hasn't been exactly good.  I moved to Philly for his first twelve years shortly after he was born.  I was the absentee Uncle, which meant that I was always good for buying him something when I came home, and that was about it in his eyes.  We now have been able to develp a relationship, which I am happy about.  Being adopted, having my Mom pass away when I was 28, dealing with my brother's crap and not having any sort of relationship with my Dad until we moved in together a couple of years ago... I've had a rather fractured sense of family... always having been closer to my friends.  It's an interesting feeling for him to be one of the few people that I actually have a blood connection.  My brother is technically my half brother, and although there is a blood connection, there's no hope of us ever having any sort of meaningful relationship.  Short the other 6 or 7 half brothers and sisters that I have that I don't see, my nephew will be it for me in my lifetime.  And although it's a relatively simple concept (blood relations) for everyone else in the world, it's an experience that I won't experience much in my life.  It leaves me feeling vulnerable, hoping that he doesn't screw it up again.

YUM !! (Manly-Muscle Hairy Chests)

An Honest Day's Work

I had a great day today... it was about 65 degrees and sunny.  My friend, Kyle, came to work with me and he mulched while I did the first full grass cutting.  What usually takes me about 7 hours took me about 10 today because the grass was so high and thick from the rain.  It was a good 13 hour day.  On the plus side, with the rain, all the bushes and trees and plants are doing really well.  It should be a lush Spring... and hopefully not followed by a drought like last year when everything dried up and died.

Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!

I have to apologize for not only for not posting anything for a few days, but for not reading many posts lately either... I've been in a major slump this last week or so.  With rain coming down every day this week, I've gotten nothing done work-wise, and the lack of progress and the shitty weather have taken it's toll on me.  I haven't felt like writing anything and have been fairly down in the dumps.  Having no sunshine really effects me... I haven't really cared about too much of anything.  The picture, incidentally, is of me in 1974 when I was 7 years old.  That was my favorite place to sleep... in that vinyl beanbag chair.  The neighbors white German Shepard used to come visit us all the time and would sleep in it too.  Those were the days... the care-free days.  This picture captures my mood, for sure.

I've been to the gym two times in three weeks, and while it seems like with me not working so much that I would have plenty of time, I just haven't felt like it.  Last week's trip to Columbus wore me out and with some, somewhat, bad eating, I feel like I've gained some weight, although the scale doesn't say that (still at 175lbs) and neither does my fat percentage, still around 15.5%.  I can definitely see that my muscles have taken a beating, probably being used up as fuel.  Maybe I'm just being paranoid.  Clearly there's a difference between the first photo I took back in the beginning of January and the one next to it, which was this morning.

I spent the day with my friend, Kyle, yesterday.  We went to see Water for Elephants with Reese Witherspoon and Camp Edward... it was really good.  It's interesting seeing a movie about animals with someone who works at the zoo... it's a different perspective.  We ate lunch, got a coffee and then took his dogs to the park to throw the ball and then walk them on the trails.  It was a great day.

Today is the first full day of sun that we will be having in weeks and although it's only 37 degrees out, it's going up to 62 and not a chance of rain at all.  I'm heading out in a few minutes to get a start on the day, hoping to get a good 12 hours in, which will do me some good.

I am the recipient of the Spo Shirt... I received it a few days ago and was waiting for it to stop raining so I could go out and get some Pittsburgh related pictures with the shirt on.... stay tuned.

Mother's Day is Fast Approaching

Weekend Recap

There's such an energy in Columbus that I don't feel here in Pittsburgh.  It's amazing how it's further in the midwest, and yet it feels more progressive in many ways.  High Street is littered with art galleries and trendy restaurants and progress... and the gay presence there is two-fold.  We had a great time taking in some shopping and partaking in some bar-hopping.  We got home around 3 yesterday... and I slept for 5 hours... woke up for 3, then back again for another 8.  I am definitely looking for some quiet time today.  One thing that I'm noticing more and more as I get older... I need quiet time.  3 hours in a car with GaGa blasting wore on my last gay nerve.


The expectation of quiet time is perhaps ill-timed, considering the events of the world last night.  With Osama Bin Laden now dead, it offers both peace to the families of those killed by his terrorist's acts, but also provides fuel to his followers in their expected acts of revenge.  Only time will tell, but I think it's going to get worse before it gets better.  I'm all for capital punishment, but I don't feel vindicated that he was killed... and some of the celebrations are making me feel uncomfortable.  We already have a bad light in the international arena without adding our whooting and hollering like we just won a football game to the list of arsenal.  It's called a moment of silence for a reason.

This past weekend wasn't exactly a model weekend for watching what I ate.  I've fallen off slightly, lately.  A few too many sugarless candies... a sponge cake or two... a few Diet Cokes... it all adds up.  I haven't gained any weight and my fat percentage is still around 15.5%, but I feel like maybe by not hitting the gym hard these last couple of weeks, muscle is being used as fuel.  With all the rain, haven't been working as much as I anticipated, and a few spinning classes might be much-needed.  I need to take a step back to basics and get on track.

1492....

I'm heading to Columbus today with some friends to hang out overnight, heading back tomorrow.  They are in a bowling league, but not playing, so we're just meeting up with some friends that are playing.  It'll be a 3 hour drive... and I love Columbus, short of it being out in the middle of a wheat field in the Midwest. 

Have a great weekend!!!

OUCH !!

Gone are the days of haphazardly baking yourself in the sun for hours with Wesson cooking oil or baby oil.  As a replacement, we are saddled with sunscreens galore and checking our bodies for new 'things' that weren't there before, including bumps, lumps and spots.  I have a vaccination, some chicken pox marks, some scars from cuts and stitches and all kinds of other marks on my body, but the invasion of my tattoo was pretty shocking, and hard to wrap my head around.  What once was a bare palatte now has this thing on it.  It's hard to digest.  I can't imagine how I'd feel if it were larger than a 3" x 3" area.

As usual, I over-analyzed the whole process... I wondered how I would feel about having this on my body and not being a tattoo virgin and all that comes with my new-found status as a bad-ass (staying out late, picking up stray women, buying a Harley, getting a leather biker outfit and matching Pit Bull)... and for this relatively conservative, living-on-the-edge suburban boy... it's all fun and games until you get pricked by the tattoo needle.  Along with that was my analyzation of the pain that was going to happen and how I'd react to that.  I was curious to see, as I've heard stories, if I would have actually 'enjoyed' the pain, in an S and M kind of way.  I can assure you, that was the furthest thing from my mind. 

Imagining a certain kind of pain without ever having endured it is literally impossible.  How can you imagine a tiny little bee sting if it's never happened to you... and as 'tiny' as it sounds, those mother-F'ers pack a lot of pain in such a little prick.  I think that it turned out to be less than what I imagined (me crying or passing out or seeing stars), but the actual pain was excruciating at times and something that I couldn't even have conjured in my head.  Not having any idea what I was going to feel, I can honestly say that it felt like she was stabbing into my skin and dragging the needles back and forth or rubbing sandpaper.  I immediately broke out in a cold sweat, but once we got through it, some areas hurting less than others, I got used to it.  Having the stencil put on... it's a totally different ball game when you start to see the design come to life and excitement replaces fear and pain.

I've seen some bad tattoos in my life, so I was a little worried as to how it was going to turn out.  Once I saw the stencil of the changes that Cara made, I had total confidence in what she was going to do and her abilities.  I'm thrilled with it... it turned out much better than I imagined.  We were able to color the heads of the push pins... and if you look hard enough (hard to see until is heals fully) you will see ROYGBV... the gay flag.  Since there were ten pins and we didn't think of just doing 6 for the gay flag colors, we had to use colors over again.  Using only 6  to not repeat colors would be the only thing different that I would have done.

They say there's only two types of people... people who get one tattoo and stop... or people who get many.  There doesn't seem to be anyone who gets just two.  Which kind of person will I be?  I can't say I'd be willing to do it again any time soon.. but there are some things that I would like to get done... only time will tell if I get more.  I can now check 'tattoo' off my bucket list.

I wanted to thank my friend Kyle for encouraging me to go for it... for holding my hand through the whole process and introducing me to his friend, Cara, at Black Cat Tattoos... who has a great, artistic talent.

Anyone have any ideas for naming the little bugger?

Tattoo Training Wheels

Today is the day I go for my tattoo... I'm a little nervous, since I don't do pain well... in fact, I get very sarcastic (much more so than normally) when I get scared... like in a doctor's office or hospital, especially when there are needles involved. 

As far as what I'm getting done or where on my body I'm putting it, I'm kind of looking at it like it could be my first tattoo... or it could be my last.  The design isn't personal enough for me to feel like I'll regret it... like if I got someone's name or some elaborate design, so I'm not worried about that.  It may be the precursor to others or just something that I can say that I've done (and have the stamp to prove it).  There are some slight changes I'm making to it, so we'll see how it turns out.  Wish me luck.

YUM !! (Bloggers and Readers Thereof)

I'm pleased that there were so many of you who submitted pictures for the YUM !! Invitational.  I asked fellow bloggers and readers to send me their favorite photos... the one where they feel good about themselves.  Let's face it... sometimes, if we don't toot our own horn, no one will and everyone deserves to feel good.  Beautiful people, inside and out.  These are the people in my neighborhood....

My Contributions:  These first pics were taken by one of my exes... we were in Cancun and I was inspired both by Mark Spitz (and his stars and stripes speedo), and the Cool Water cologne add where the guy comes out of the water looking fantastic.  Mine, however, look like a beached whale and that I'm washing my hair.  Not the sexy look I was going for, but it didn't seem to matter at the time, as the photo shoot kept rolling.

                              Me in L.A.

(I was giving you some hanging from a rope action)

________________________________________

Adam from Sex At Noon Taxes (Our little boy (who looks good in stripes

no matter which direction they're going in))

Blobby from Blobby's Blog (Gotta love a hairy-legged man

who loves hairy dogs)

Erik from Gambrinous with Griffonage (Daddy, don't beat me (unless I'm bad,

which I always am)

My Friend (and reader) Julie (Va va va vooooom, complete

with come-F-me pumps.  And I turned gay, why?)

Jim at Jim's Stuff  (Just lay back... I'll take care of you)

Kelly from Rambling Along In Life  (Ok, this bitch is submitting his

Abercrombie print ad... YUM!)

Kevin from Kevin's Rants (Um, yes, Kev... I want a lick)

Cubby at Patently Queer  (Yes sir... Mr. Boss Man)

Paul at Chez Paul  (Sultry as the day is long)

A Friend of mine from Vegas, Paul (Save me, Superman!)

Rich from A Work In Progress (Catch me, here I come)

    Rob (That tattoo must say 'sexy')

Rob from Dulce Y Peligroso (Make me an offer I can't refuse, Sir)

Ron from Retired in Delaware (Loves me some sweaty man in a field

on a piece of machinery) 

Sean from Idle Eyes and a Dormy (Sassy, sexy, spicy, sultry...)

Stan from Metro Dystopia (You can't hide that machoism

behind those glasses)

            Warren (Classic beauty)