The High Road

Things are happening for me.  By slowly biting little bits off, things got done before they ate away at me.  I'm accomplishing things.  Next friday is the closing of my Dad's house and although I'm trying not to put so much weight on how that's going to change so much, it will.  I've worked hard to get to this turning point, and haven't really seen past it... putting things on hold.  I feel like I've been stuck and it's all opening up. I can breathe.  Now which way?

I Can See (and Think) Clearly Now

I buckled down and got my Uncle's place finished today... only 19 hours, 16 truckloads of branches and debris, poison ivory, 100 foot sections of vines tugged out and arms scratched up like Nancy McKeon in the made-for-tv movie about the girl that was a cutter.  It looks incredible... and I made twice as much as I thought I would when I started the job.  All in a day or two's work. I had a little breakdown yesterday on all the pending projects and things that I need to do, so it feels good to get this off the list.  

 Before on left, after on right: (you can double click on the pic for larger size)

It's Nano Your Business What I'm Listening To

Bits and pieces of this song are relevant, but mostly I just love the song.  I like the dedication and the extent of the love...

Members Only

Metamucil... check
Crunchy peanut butter, Nutella and banana sandwich... check
Remote control... check
200 Thread count cotton poly blend sheets... check

And so goes the end of another day in the life of a 43 year old, putting every fiber of his being up on the internet for the world to view, most surely in disbelief.  When I look back at what's almost two years in January that I've been doing this blog, I am able to see where I was and where I am now, sometimes the same exact spot.  Fortunately, there are plenty of 'mile markers' (and you thought I pulled the blog name out of my ass) in life to keep you in check and provide a countdown as well.  Birthdays are the biggest bitch... and I'm sure, if I had kids (thanks to the baby Jesus that I don't), watching their birthdays would be even worse, let alone their graduations, weddings (etc., etc.). Another interesting, and probably most unnerving, reminder that your days are numbered on this earth is a little thing called 'the high school reunion'.  I don't know what sick, demented person thought this situation up, but they need to be the target of a line of dodge ball throwers... or need their head stuck in a toilet at recess again.

Next Saturday is my 25th high school reunion.  I went to the 5th one way back when, but didn't attend any of the other ones though.  Thanks to Facebook, I talk to more people from high school now than when I was in high school, which is kind of funny when someone friends you now that didn't even know you were alive then, except to make your life a living hell.  My high school made Beverly Hills 90210 look like an afternoon in Romper Room, with it's clicks and overload of suburban snootiness.  If you weren't a cheerleader, football player or, believe it or not, in the band... you weren't anyone.  So my being President of the choir held about as much weight as the rickety AV cart on social studies documentary watching Thursdays.  You had to be a member of the 'in crowd'.  It was pointedly clear that I was not.

In my twelve year tenure, I am able to come up with a few good memories... I remember one of the first Earth Days in the early seventies... I remember singing on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial at District Chorus... I remember hitting Laura Pace in the back of the head with a chalkboard eraser (and it left a chalk mark) and, subsequently, getting paddled for that... and I remember that ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny, but don't ask me what it means at this point.  Then there are the moments that are burned into your mind, never to be forgotten... outside of my elementary school, there was this really cool jungle jim kind of structure made of railroad ties that we used to climb on.  It was on that structure that I first handled Rhonda Tusinski's left hootie.  In Pittsburgh, the public broadcasting station does a series called something like 'things that used to be'... and they'll talk about old buildings or trolleys and the like.... well, the structure is gone.... my fascination for girl's titties is gone... and, sadly, so is Rhonda... she suffered an aneurysm a few years out of school.  Forever gone is any proof of a young boy's supposedly greatest moment happening (aside from learning masturbation).

I think the movie Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion embodies the phenomena the most, enveloping all the anxiety that we go through... do we still look good, did we succeed, will this person still like me, do we make enough money, did we live up to our 'most likely to..." tagline... which spurs a whole slew of pre-reunion adjustments... crash diet, get a great outfit, tan, get a new job, rent a fancy car to pull up in.  It's all so ridiculous.  Not only were we judged for 12 years about our class and extra-curricular choices, clothing, hair, car, friends, girl/boyfriends, etc... we are also faced with the same thing so many years later, like any of that matters.  Sadly, your reputation throughout school is the most important thing, and can haunt you for the rest of your life.  Take for example the kid that stuck his wiener in a vacuum cleaner and earned the name "Hoover"... and the kid who supposedly stuck his wiener in his tabby cat and everywhere he went, all you heard were cat screeches...and you always knew when he was coming down the hall.  Those are things that stick with you.  Choices are paramount.  Reputation is monumental.  And the lesson is be careful where you stick your wiener.  My choice to be friends with a few people and my involvement in chorus forever labled me a gaybird... turns out they were spot on about that.  But let you be you because of you, not because of someone else defining you.

I've made some choices in my life that, if given the chance to do over, I would.  But I can honestly say that, at the time, they were the best solution to a problem... and I acted responsibly and kindly and don't regret any of it.  I feel very successful in my life, and although I started out my career trying to climb the corporate ladder, I am so much more happy for the path that I currently am on, both in accomplishment and the person that I have become.  I don't feel the need to go there and be anyone other than who I am.  I am lucky I feel that way.  I'm sure some are very nervous right about now. 

Incidentally, the theory of ontogeny recapitulating phylogeny is best described in that the embryonal development of an individual organism (its ontogeny) follows the same path as the evolutionary history of its species (its phylogeny).  In other words, we can all rest assured that future generations will be going through the same angst over all this crap.  Take comfort in that.

!E Three

I don't hide the fact that I partake in the Hollywood rags... Star, OK, People, US, Life and Style, In Touch and my fav... Entertainment Weekly.  I enjoy the mindless meandering through the glossy pages where I mostly look at the pictures, but I guess I have become sort of the Perez Hilton of Pittsburgh with keeping up with the Kardashians and everyone else in the 'wood.  It's hard to not get unnerved by some of it, being as ridiculous as it all is.  Still, it makes me feel good that someone else's life is more screwed up than mine... and it's more fun than Time and Newsweek (which I also read). 

That I have an opinion is also something that I don't hide.  In fact, my tongue is so sharp that, often times, it cuts me.  Having said that, I have decided to try a little segment called the !E Three... where I will highlight three pieces of entertainment news that I think would be detrimental to your existence had you not been informed.

This weeks topics:

1.  The MTV VMA awards:  Against my better judgement, I am taping this, only because Chelsea Handler is hosting... and who better to corral the animals than her.  This show seems to be such a free-for-all.  Considering that most of the attendees either have some bizarre outfit on (Kei$ha wearing a trash bag)... or they are packing a gun and have more gold in their teeth than Fort Knox.  And the big showstopping event was that this was Justin Bieber's first performance on the show... duh... he's 8.  Are you kidding me?  And who the fcuk is Drake?  He is the hottest thing in music right now (as per Justin Timberlake)?  He's not even singing music.  This is the future of our talent pool.  BTW... at press time, Lady Gaga is winning everything and Taylor Swift is singing a song off-key in a pretty dress... surprise!!

2.  Jaden Smith, Will Smith's kid, recently starred in the remake of Karate Kid.  First of all, little kids of today... it's a remake, from 1984.  It's not the best thing since sliced bread... it was then... now it's just someone (Will Smith, perhaps?) who can't come up with a fresh idea.  The other day, I saw Jaden on some talk show showing his 6-pack stomach.  HE'S 12.  He fell out of the womb looking like that.  He still smells of diapers. One and a half sit ups and he's done.  I can't wait until all of these young kid's metablolism changes and they're wearing wife-beaters, drinking beer from a hat on their head with a lap full of donuts and a big, fat belly.  Karma is a bitch.  So is gravity.

3.  Jared Leto's band, 30 Seconds To Mars, won an award tonight for best new band or some shit.  He's been seen dating many a girl and yet the rumor still circulates that he's possibly gay.  My ex (a boy) had relations with him in a trailer on a movie set.  Rumor settled.  You heard it here first.

More Jaggers and Bugs

After doing a few things around the house this morning, waiting to see if the weather was going to break, it finally did and I went back to my Uncle's to do more work.  Today, the big challenge was vines... overtaking the trees that I was trying to cut down... at one point, I pulled what must have been a 100 foot strand of vine from the trees... not fun and not easy.  And for those of you who were betting on me healing your Rheumatism, I am not the Chosen One... I got poison ivory.

With today being day two of the air show, it was more of the same jets flying overhead.  On one trip to the compost site, I climbed up on the huge pile of mulch and got some more pics.  Coincidentally, there were a few other people watching there as well.

Tolerance for Jaggers, Bugs and Diversity

One of my favorite Pittsburghese sayings is calling someone a 'jagoff'... but a twist on that (that I like just as much) is calling someone a 'jagger-ass'.  I'm not sure what it means or where it came from, but maybe that's it's appeal... ambiguity.  Anyway, the reason I thought about that today was that I was doing a project for my Uncle, chainsawing branches on his pine trees up 8 feet on the tree and cleaning out the areas underneath... which had a boat-load of jagger bushes and poison 'ivory', as I say it.  In fact, there was as much poison ivory under those trees as there were Poppies in the field outside Oz.  If I don't get it from head to toe, then I will take that as a sign from God that I am the 'Chosen One', and will try to walk on water or some shit.  Anyway, I'm only half-way done, and will probably have to go back tomorrow to finish.

This year was definitely more 'buggy' than last... I guess with the warmer weather, they're out in droves, and mulling around in the bushes is as good a place as any to find them.  Today, these big bugs kept flying overhead...

Actually, those were the Air Force's Thunderbirds.  With the airport being only a mile away and them having an air show to commemorate 9/11, they were flying over my head all day long... loud and low.  I attempted to get pictures a half dozen times, but they were so fast... but I finally got this shot.  I also saw the Stealth Bomber go overhead as well.  I'm not sure what it is, but I always feel so touched with patriotism when I see them... imagine living in a country where they jet fighters fly over as often as a Southwest Airlines plane.  We take so much for granted in this country.  On this day, 9 years ago, the tragedy that occurred is still fresh on everyone's mind.  President Obama gave a nice speech today urging Americans to stand strong to the values of diversity and tolerance, which is refreshing to hear, since all we heard from the previous administration is vengeance and retaliation.  My wise friend, Bob, said it best... "Hate cannot change the past and will not enhance your future". 

What would an American patriotic day be without Lee Greenwood's cheeseball song, "God Bless the USA"... this is the 9/11 version....

YUM !! (Uniforms)

Pint-Sized Talent

I'm not one for America's Got Talent, but this little girl (from Pittsburgh, no less) is cranking it out in this piece, and has been.  She's this year's Susan Boyle.  Singing "Pie Jesu", one of my favorite songs ever!

Funny

Lights on for 4 hours.... then off for another month

I think he took the Hooked-on-Phonex 'read and point' technique a little too far

There are many things about Walt that could contribute to the problem... the hooves may have something to do with it... or maybe it's his camel toe

I'm not really a kid person, but there doesn't seem to be anything funny or wrong with this picture to me?!  Seems like a good system

You'd probably want to hold off from getting a grilled weiner from the vendor outside of this office

Earning the nickname "Orca" in high school, she really should have had some foresight on this scenario and heeded the warning "stay out of the water".

I hope it's not stuffed with a Chinese baby... then you're hungry an hour later and too much MSG

180 Degrees In the Opposite Direction

Today was an odd sort of day... totally different than what I had planned.  I was supposed to be at my one clients building a privacy fence but the area got wet over the weekend due to a leaky hose and I couldn't dig the post holes in the mushy ground.  So I ended up meeting with the sprinkler vendor at the Marriott going over the anitquated system to see what we could do to adjust or add to save the plants and trees.  We're putting together another bid to present to the G.M. for approval, with work starting in early Spring.  In the meantime, I was able to ask him if I was going to get the contract for next year at the Marriott and he said most definitely.  Although they already offered me a sizeable increase, I countered with that, for that increase, I would start March 1st instead of April 1st, giving me another whole month in the heavy labor ended part of the season.  This basically equates to me having more time to prepare the grounds and a whole additional month of income.  I'm thrilled... and thrilled that they are thrilled with me.  I can now start to plan my next year around that (i.e. other jobs, my massage business, etc.), which gives me stability.

So after the sprinkler guy, I met up with Julie and her sister and family in the Strip District (the area of town where all the produce comes in) and got to shop at my favorite little Italian stores, etc.  I got some coffee syrups, some Italian cookies... some nuts, etc. and we had breakfast at the local diner dive.  From there, I drove an hour to meet with Scott at the casino, where I proceeded to lose too much money and gain too much weight at the buffet.  From there, I had to stop at Jesse's Mom's to drop off his computer that my friend Matt fixed for him.  12 hours and 150 miles later, I'm home.

I know that I go on these rants about camp and they are 150% all that I say, if not more.  To prove the insanity, here's a few pics... not for the weak stomached...  and yes, that's about 300 naked guys in the pool.  Incidentally, we had a toga party one night, which usually means that the local Wal-mart is over-run by gays trying to find a good deal on some gold lame' fabric and something bejeweled and bedazzled...

MyVerizon... (literally)

Last week, Verizon thought they'd be cute and pushed a Google Droid update on our phones.  I'm all for progress, but it seems like most of what they have done made it worse... but the thing that is most unnerving is that they, obviously getting kickbacks from the companies, forced certain apps onto the phone.  Now that doesn't sound too bad, especially if one was 'the hot guys of summer' or 'the shopping channel'... but it's stuff that I would never use... and WORSE... you can't remove them or get them from constantly running, despite killing them with Task Killer or force closing them.  The result is a battery that used to last for 2-3 days without being charged to one that now lasts 2-3 hours before it's dead. 

I understand that they have been getting a lot of complaints and are supposedly looking into a patch to fix it but, in the meantime, if I go to make some emergency call or don't get one (say from my Dad), they will have such a lawsuit on their hands that their tagline, 'MyVerizon', will mean just that... it will be my company... and I just wrote them a scathing email to that effect.  If they don't fix it, I will disconnect my service and return the phone.  I'm that pissed about it. It's bad enough we have to have all the ads and shit shoved down our throats on our computers... now on our phones too?