Ho Ho Ho (HUM)

I've signed on several times over the last couple of weeks to divert my blog to a different address as I have a few times over the years.  Putting a great deal of thought into how having the blog has affected my life both good and bad... and recently dealing more with my stalker... it's left me feeling over-exposed.  Likewise for my Facebook account.  I feel like hibernating... or disappearing.

Last week, I was awarded a temporary PFA (restraining) order against my stalker and after spending 7 hours in the legal system to get it, it left me a bit raw.  At the end of the day with the order in my hand, it was both exhausting and excitingly freeing.  I was emotionally drained having to recount each thing over the years.  This week, I push forward with the harassment charges and should have a hearing for the permanent PFA order soon as well.

Last week, I decided not to continue building a relationship with Rob.  While he is exactly where he should be at his age, needing intense attention and affection... I am at the other end of the spectrum, especially with feeling overexposed, including having to be 'on' all the time at the bar.  Having felt suffocated a few times with him, I felt that it was best that he find someone more at his level of intensity... a level that he deserves... and that I concentrate on my priorities.  With my responsibilities to my family and both jobs, I can't give him what he needs... and he can't give me the space that I need.  I have to realize that this is who I am... that I like my alone time... and need it... and will need to take that into consideration if and when I get involved again.

So far, the holiday season has been nice.  Last weekend, we all went to Light Up Night... the city of Pittsburgh has every office building turn their lights on to symbolize the start of the holiday season.  There's great food and entertainment... and my favorite... the outside ice skating rink.  We all had a nice time.  I followed it up by taking my Dad over to my friend, Robin's house for Thanksgiving.  She has a large family... and we had a great dinner.  This has been the best holiday season for me in a long time.  Her family has become mine.

I've been trying to wind down my landscaping contract, but with the weather... it's been hard.  I still have a lot of work to do.  I've been working days at the Marriott and nights at the bar.  Last night, I slept 14.5 hours to get caught up.  Crazy... considering I usually sleep 5 or 6 per night.

I leave for Vegas next week, for a week.  My friend Scott and I are going... he's never been, so it will be fun.  We're going to head to the Grand Canyon for a day since he's never seen that either.  I'm looking forward to getting away and spending some time with him.