This week has been somewhat emotional for me for a number of different reasons. For one, I'm exhausted and haven't slept much, so I'm kind of 'raw' right now and my nerves are exposed, so to speak. I've been edgy, and communication with everyone this week has been a struggle. Another reason is that the guy I started dating didn't really work out, and that makes me sad because I thought it had some potential because he was special and I really felt a spark, but it didn't seem to come together, so I walked away... not what I wanted. Lastly, I'm proud of all the things that I have been able to get accomplished lately... with a lot of balls being juggled... they're still mid-air, so that's good.
So it's no wonder that today, at the pride parade, I got all choked up. The parade was huge... and there were so many people that showed up. Last year, standing on the sidelines watching the parade go by, I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment for our community. This year, being in the parade, it was magnified. As I drove in the parade route, I saw all the people cheering as we drove past... the support, not only for the bar... but for us as their 'family' members, was overwhelming, and I found myself holding back tears many times. To be a part of a group of people that are strong and overcome adversity on a daily basis... gay, bi, transgendered, drag queens, lesbians, etc... and who aren't afraid to be themselves in a world where non-conformity and being different have their cost. And yet, we all rise above it, getting up time after time of being beaten down as though we are some sort of freak of nature, deviant or abnormality. I am proud to be a part of this group... and would rather be someone special than part of the whole... be colorful rather than blending... and be an individual with a mind of my own.
It's not easy being gay. I've been asked many times throughout my life if I had a choice, would I pick being gay... and the answer is yes. They say you can't 'pick' your family. I'd pick these people each and every time... and consider them exactly that... family.
Great post! And yes, disfunctional families are often the one that end up working the best!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your date... but as we say in french "un de perdu, dix de trouvé" (you lose one but ten others are waiting!!!) ;)
Hugs
Jon
I would kill for those legs...
ReplyDeleteSending big hugs for so many reasons.
ReplyDeleteI hear you and completely understand. Prior to coming out I doubt I would have ever said given a choice would I pick being gay, but since coming out I realize how lucky I am. It doesn't make my life any easier but it certainly adds color, and I wouldn't change it even if I could. I love being gay; I'm glad to read that you do too.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your date and all the hours you have put in, but sounds like everything worked out well for you today... It is great of you to be in the parade and I wish we had a parade here.... happy PRIDE!
ReplyDeleteAmen! Gay and Proud!!!
ReplyDeleteAs a variation on what Deep Blue said, "Men are like buses, there's always another one coming along."
ReplyDeleteLoved the pic of your 'dysfunctional family.' They look like a lot of fun! And now D@vid, please, get some sleep!!
u look so sexy in this short skirt and the orange whig...and these tits...waoh ;o)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! I'm glad you had a great time at your Pride event. Boston's went over well, even with the rain. Can't stop the queens from enjoying a good party!
ReplyDeleteSo, you're single again huh? I have to drive to P-burgh for date now? ;)
I too have been asked the question "If you could choose to not be gay would you chose that option?" My answer (after a lot of thought) - YES. I don't know why but I feel as if I have been 'chosen' to be this way. Being gay isn't easy but I wouldn't be any other way.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I see some gay men still believe that dressing as outlandish version so women is still their way of expressing their "Pride." I don't get it. I'm no prude and I enjoy camp as much as anyone else but when are we going to get past dressing up as the straight expect us to dress up?
Ron... although I think a few use the pride parade as a platform to express themselves (as well as Halloween)... for many, it's the only time that they can get away with being themselves... who they really are or, for those afraid of the repercussions, who they really want to be but can't. It's hard for some to understand why guys want to dress up as girls... in the same way that straights can't understand why gays 'pick' to be gay... there's no picking. In their mind, they may have some gender issues going on that they don't have control over... they are trying to be them. It's no different than the leather community... it's not an outfit for them, it's a way of thinking. You may understand it more if you think about it that way. Live and let live, I always say. More power to them for having the guts to be them.
ReplyDeleteGlad you had a good time......wish I could've been there to share it with you.
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ReplyDeleteI think its easy being gay... well at 49 it is!
i am now old enough and ugly enough not to give a shit!
I am proud of you.
ReplyDeleteIs there any symbolism (such as yellow = Livestrong) attached to your black wristband, or is it simply an accessory?
phew ! What a roller coaster of emotions you have had.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that the dating didn't work out.
Be of comfort; nothing of worth is easy, so being true to yourself is hard, indeed.
Dave,
ReplyDeleteI understand people wanting to express themselves and I understand when gay pride parades first came into being many wanted to be "in your face" as much as possible. But now that the general straight population is aware that "the gays" are among us in all forms (and dress), it is my humble opinion that perhaps some of the more outlandish "in your face, I'm going to dress up in drag" types would bypass their usual drag getup and represent the gay community more like it really is in real life. But then maybe the only ones who participate in gay pride parades are the ones who feel the need to express themselves in outlandish drag getup that not only disrespects themselves but also the women who they are trying to portray. Back in my younger days my favorite hangout was the 247 bar which was a leather and western bar. I felt very comfortable 'expressing myself' in my jean denim and leather although I never went the full route with the leather straps over a bare chest or a leather hat.
I've participate in two marches on Washington D.C. The first in 1979 and the last one in 2009. I dressed as I dress every day. I did carry a rainbow flag this time around to 'express myself." But there was no way I was going to totally disrespect myself by dressing as a drag queen and thus reinforcing straights view that the Gay Agenda is to turn their children into drag and leather queens. I think it's about time for some gay people to grow up. Just my opinion for what it's worth.
I've only just started reading your blog. So far, so good. You seem like a great guy! (Nice on the eyes too;-)
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