I'll Take Potpourri for $100, Alex

I went from having nothing to say, to having too much to say, so I'm doing a 'tids and bits' sort of entry...

-  The other day, my palm was itchy... no big deal, I thought it was just hair sprouting on my palm from inappropriately touching my weiner too much (is that an old wives tale or for really?)... but I went to the mailbox and there was a check from Uncle Sam... apparently paying for other people's children to go to school through additional taxes... while adopting my own children is frowned upon... and having to file 'single' since I'm not allowed to marry, paying higher taxes... and paying employer taxes as well for owning my own business earned me some sort of rebate check from the government... the poor, gay, childless spinster deduction... I didn't care... I ran to cash the check before the U.S. went bankrupt and it bounced.

-  My friend, Eddie, from Philadelphia is coming tomorrow to stay with me for the weekend.  I have to drag him to the bar (I'm sure he won't go kicking and screaming) while I work on Friday night... and Saturday, we're going to the Pirates/Phillies game.  It's always a great to sit in the stadium, facing the city... and eating a weiner or two (the meat-by-product kind).  Of course, like everything in Pittsburgh, they'll shoot off fireworks every time they get a home run.  Fortunately for the neighbors, the Pirates don't get many home runs.

-  I'm no stranger to doing things by myself... case in point, the upcoming trip out west... but I have always wanted to see Wicked... so I bought my ticket to go in September when it's here in Pittsburgh... by myself.  Sometimes you just don't want to be bugged by someone else's agenda or the wrapper of their hard-tack candy.

-  With landscaping back in full swing with the weather being great, albeit 90 degrees and humid, I'm getting a lot done.  I'm drenched, parched and full of heat stroke... but I'm productive.  Today, it was only 70 degrees... absolutely beautiful weather to plant annuals... and that's exactly what I did... except for a special visit by a cute guy named Alan, which led to a nice getaway luncheon. It's common knowledge that I don't like to talk about people that go on a date with on the blog because it seems to jinx it... but he seems like something special.  Time will tell.

-  One of my best friends got married today, but it wasn't a joyous occasion.  Unfortunately the guy she married is a complete ass and she basically feared for her life if she didn't marry him.  That's a long story... but the point is that I have never felt so helpless in my life... anything that I would have done to intercept the situation would have made it worse for her.  I feel like her heart and soul were ripped from her body today.  It's a sad, sad day.  It's amazing how one person can control another.

-  The other day, I broke down and got the iPhone.  Blah, blah blah.... bells and whistles this... gadgets and widgets that... it's all smoke and mirrors.  My other phone was more productive, with some basic necessities built right in.  It's hard for me to wrap my head around updating my phone through a music app, iTunes.  It pisses me off that I have to buy an app to do things that my old phone did for free.  One noteworthy app is Vlingo.  You just speak into the phone... "Text so-and-so... What up, bitch (question mark)".. and it does it all for you.  "Search one-eyed monkeys".. and it pulls up the browser and searches the internet.  I tell you, it sure takes the tedium out of trying to eat your Big Mac and text and drive all at the same time.

I feel like the Droid/Windows crowd are the people that get things done... and the Apple people just want to look good trying to get it done, worried more about their hair and which Banana Republic outfit they are going to wear to do it in.  Even the whole naming convention... " i ".... suggests a self-absorbency.  I did, for my money, get an Apple sticker that I'm supposed to put on my truck, to show that I am one of the chosen few elitists... I'll put it right beside my Sarah Palin sticker when I get that... NOT.   

I've posted this video before... it's hilarious... but I love how it captures the epitome of the Apple consumer... I guess now, myself included.