Dusty Aftermath Isn't That Country Girl You Sat Behind in Home Ec Class

Not to belabor the whole thing, but I am still shocked at the dust storm last night.  EVERYTHING in the city is COVERED in dust... it's in the air, and you can still taste it.  It's something that I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around, especially after seeing the photos of the 15 mile high wall of dust below from some of the local news shows. 


With all the ruckus, I had a hard time getting to sleep last night, plus I was on eastern time... so I didn't get much sleep.  They have a great breakfast buffet downstairs... and I'm getting myself cleaned up and ready to go onto the next adventure.  I'm back at this hotel next Monday before I fly out... it's amazing for $47.00 a night.  Clean, modern and great customer service.  If you're ever here in Phoenix, I'd highly recommend the 3 Palms Hotel... just not during a dust storm.

I'll probably switch days from what I planned... instead of Sedona, where there is so much to see in every direction and I have to figure it out... I'm going to just head to the hotel in Flagstaff, unload and drive to the south rim of the Grand Canyon.  There, I'll take some pictures and do a car tour of the entire south rim.  Tomorrow, once I've had some time to figure it out and with it being right near the hotel, I'll get up early and check out Sedona.  I'm not in any hurry today... I'm looking forward to getting in the car with the desert in front of me and just see what's out there.

Meeting Spo Spurs Dust Storm

I got all settled in to my hotel and then went to meet Michael and Someone for dinner.  It was the first time that I've ever met a fellow blogger/reader since I started blogging... so it was interesting to get someone else's perspective on the ins and outs of blogging and it's effects on your life.  Sporting his signature bow tie... both he and his partner were absolutely charming.  We had a great meal... with wonderful conversation and the night was a total success.... until....

I got in the car (that I almost didn't take the additional bumper-to-bumber insurance coverage out on, thinking what could possibly happen?)  after we left the restaurant and started driving.  My phone was beeping with messages and mail, since I had it off during dinner.  I pulled into a parking lot and looked up and saw the sky was growing dark.  It was a very forboding darkness... something that I've never seen.  As I sat there, it became clear that something was coming towards me.... a huge wall of dust.  I pulled up my weather.com application and saw that there were storms coming... and they must have pushed this dust storm out front.  After taking a few snapshots with my phone and got in my car and started driving the 5 or so blocks to my hotel... right into it's path.  It got dark so quickly... I could barely see with all the dust flying by, along with trees and other debris.  I got to the hotel and had to get out and instantly got a mouthful.  I made it into my room, and it began to rain, spattering the dust all over the cars.  The internet was down in the room, so after waiting it out, I left the room to go to the McDonald's to post this.  I had to take the car to the carwash to be able to see out of the side windows.  There's dust all over EVERYTHING.  I've never experienced anything quite like it.

It's Nano Your Business What I'm Listening To...

After a basically non-eventful morning/flight, I arrived in Phoenix... it's about 105 degrees outside... sunny and gorgeous.  I picked up a quick bite to eat at the Del Taco (my favorite fast food place in the west that I used to eat at all the time when I lived in Vegas).  My hotel, The 3 Palms, looks really nice... especially for $47.00 a night booked on Expedia... but the room wasn't ready yet, so now I'm at Starbucks down the street.

Tonight, I meet up with Michael from Spo-Reflections and his partner, 'Someone', for dinner in Old Town Scottsdale.  This will be the first blogger friend that I have actually met face-to-face since I started blogging over two years ago.

Tomorrow, It's a two hour drive to Flagstaff, where I'll be staying for two days, hitting Sedona one day, and the Grand Canyon the next. 

Stay tuned for pictures each day.

Happy 4th of July!!!!

As usual, I'll be working on this holiday... it's nice because the hotel is usually empty and I can get my work done without tripping over people or having the parking lot full.  Today is the last checkmark on my list before I leave tomorrow morning.  I'm heading out to cut the grass while it's cool outside.  Of course, with it being 118 degrees in Phoenix yesterday, I don't think 85 and humid here should be my concern right now.  I'm going to melt.

I hope everyone has a great holiday... don't eat too many weiners... and don't blow your hand off with firecrackers!!  And let's hope it's a day filled with rememberance of those who came before us and accomplished what they did... and also a day of humility... for although we are a great nation, we have some work to do to be what we once were.  Let's honk the horn less on our big fat Hummers... and try to remember what our forefathers stood for and act upon that in a way where we don't act like jackasses.

Baby Steps

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been trying to check things off my 'To Do' list with the ultimate goal being my trip out west Tuesday.  Getting the Marriott all done... getting the deck project all done... getting my grass cutting client's done... two graduation parties... getting through my two bar shifts and finally, cutting the Marriott's grass tomorrow.  After that, I'm free and clear... and clear headed... for my trip.  It's been a series of accomplishing steps to get to this point.  I'm so excited to get out on the open road... with the vast desert before me... seeing some beautiful sights... and maybe a cute ranch-hand or two, working outside in the noonday sun.... body glistening with beads of sweat... big manly-muscle arms.... (snap)... ok, I'm back now.

When we're kids, we were so proud of our age.  "I'm 7 and a half", I'd say.  But as we get older, we tend to make a shift backwards.... "I'm 29... again... for the 15th time", I now say.  You don't rush things and you ignore your birthday, unlike when younger when you get excited months before.  Then, there's a point where reaching that half-year-boasting comes back into play... "I'm 90 and a half", I heard my Aunt Mary Jane say yesterday at the graduation party for a third cousin that I'm sure I've never met before.  It becomes an accomplishment that you look forward to again because, let's face it... we're happy to wake up every day.  You don't think about how precious life is until you get older... taking it for granted that you won't always have youth on your side when you have youth on your side.  Being older doesn't even enter your mind at that age... and being that age is all that's on your mind as you're older.

Yesterday, as I sat with my Dad at the party, I got to see a lot of relatives that I don't see much.  With living in Philly for 12 years through my 20's and early 30's, I missed a lot of happenings and missed my cousins growing up... and Aunts and Uncles getting older.  It was a total mind-fuck for me to sit there... first of all, growing up, I never left my Mom's side during a gathering... and it always feels strange to me now that she's been gone (for 17 years now).  I don't have that safety blanket... I had to talk to people... I couldn't hide behind her leg.

It was also difficult to realize that, despite my memories of  running around at a gathering, that wasn't me any more.  I wasn't the one that jumped out of the car to join my cousins in mischief... I was the one that drove my Dad to this so that he could sit with his remaining siblings, possibly for the last time.  I was the one that made him sit down and got him water after he overheated playing horseshoes with my Uncles.  I was the one that said 'ok, time to go, make sure you go to the bathroom' and then drove him home while he passed out in the passengers seat, exhausted from an exciting day.  This is who I am now, and it's hard to wrap my head around it at times.  While I still act and dress young... it suddenly hit me that, despite having a lot of boyfriends in their 20's... I wasn't sitting at the kids table any more.  That time had passed and my memories are all I have now.  There's a new generation or two now... it's their turn.  My cousins that I looked up to were my age when I was young.  It's a totally different perspective being on this end.

I'm 44 and a quarter... life has changed... but life is still good.  Still taking one (baby) step at a time.

YUM !! (Rodeo Studs)

In honor of my trip out west next week...

The Long and Winding Road

It's been a long 24 hours.  Anticipating that I was heading down to camp today, I sat down last night to draw up the plans for the two sets of stairs.  I didn't want to do the traditional stringer-style, so I did a tiered 'birthday cake' style instead, for something different and unique.  After about two hours of drawing it out (taking into consideration overlapping boards and overhangs, etc), I decided to run out to Lowes to get the lumber at 9pm last night and brought it all back to the garage.  Overhanging 6 feet from the back of my truck, I knew that I had to pre-cut the pieces to get them down to camp or I would get a ticket or they'd fall out on the way.  So I got up at 6am and started measuring, marking and saw-cutting the boards (my neighbors were probably mad, but I have to listen to their kids screaming and bouncing the basketball all day, so 'F' them).  I packed everything up and headed for camp, getting there around noon and got done around 5.  It was a gorgeous day today... and the ride up the mountain winding roads was spectacular.  The project went off without a hitch due to my pre-planning and I had very little waste and was left with 5 screws.  I got home around 7:30, unloaded the tools and vacuumed the truck out.

It was a really great project.  I enjoyed working on it by myself and I'm proud of the finished product, but I'm glad it's done for now.  We'll be doing some lattice under the trailer and some landscaping and a fire pit.  I have my two bar nights... and a little grass cutting... but other than that, I'm skating by until I head out west next Tuesday.

The stairs are just a series of outlined boxes with supports in the middle and deck boards on top with a slight overhang, stacked one on top of the other.

It's Nano Your Business What I'm Listening To...

I had the most freeing day yesterday.  Although I had lofty idea that I would be in and out of the Marriott in a few hours, it turned out to be a 10 hour day but, at the end of the day... I was done with everything.  There wasn't an untrimmed bush... a weed to be found anywhere... a blade of grass missed... it was perfect.  Let that bitch (the inspector) find anything wrong with my outside areas in the audit.  Low and behold... he didn't.  Not one thing on the outside of the hotel... and the final score for the whole hotel, inside and out... 97% (down from 98% last year).  All of the time over the last three months... all the agonizing over the weather... all the back-breaking labor... all the stress.... wiped away clean and clear.  I came home, unloaded the truck, put all tools away off the floor of the garage... swept and hosed the garage floor clean and pulled the damn truck in the garage for the first time since March.  I have reclaimed my garage and my life.  I can see clearly now.

I almost sobbed out loud and threw up a little in my mouth at the same time.

Fertile Pussy Willows and Big Decks

What a long-ass week... especially the weekend.  I worked Friday and Saturday night at the bar... and both were packed with people... Friday with karaoke and Saturday with a drag show.  I sold the most I've ever rang on my register last night... and made $400 in tips over the two days.  What a great weekend.  Today, with only 2 hours of sleep, I went into the Marriott to cut grass for 11 hours in preparation for the audit on Tuesday... with the inspector arriving tomorrow.  The build up of all the work that I have been doing since March 15th is now coming to a head... all the hours I put in... all mulch laid and flowers planted and bushes trimmed... it's like Christmas Eve for me.  Last year, the hotel (in total) received a 98%, which has only ever been given to three hotels before and is the highest ranking ever given... so it will be hard to top that, if at all.  I have to go in tomorrow morning to do some last minute weeding and surface blowing and trim a few hedges, but otherwise... after tomorrow, I am down to my Monday grass cuttings from now until Fall, and my bartending hours.  I'm happy with the way that the property turned out this year.  The grass looks like a golf course, the plants I planted have taken off and the flowers are blooming.

After building the deck the other day without my shirt on and getting burned to a crisp, I am now facing the aftermath... a combination of peeling and blisters.  Never... in all my 44 years, has my lucious mediterranical skin ever blistered... and very rarely, peeled... so this is new for me to deal with.  Lesson learned:  I'm more fragile than I thought I was.  Speaking of deck, I have to head back down on Tuesday or Wednesday to finish those boards and the stairs, and lay out a landscaping plan and possibly a lattice privacy wall for him.  Meanwhile, another friend of mine who saw the work I did wants me to fix the eaves of his roof on his trailer and build him an awning.  Also, I went to take a look at another potential deck project... who knows, I may start a company if this keeps up... maybe I'll call it 'Lemme Take a Go at Your Big Deck'.

After today's exercise, I am down to 165 lbs from 194 in January.  Meanwhile, I haven't been overly strict on my food consuption (one or ten too many sponge cakes), and yet I'm still losing.  It's time for me to get back on my regimen and get back to the gym to get back some of the muscle expended.  I'll have the time now.

I am near the point of exhaustion but I'm pushing through.  Endurance, perseverance and focus will get me through.  I absolutely cannot wait until my trip next week.  Not time to celebrate yet... I still have much to do this week.

Dog Days of Summer

This is cute: (via my friend, Bubbles)

Don't be a Deck

To me, there are pessimists... then there are optimists on the other end of the spectrum... and then there's me... a realist... right in the middle.  I'm far too productive to be a pessimist... and not fucking cheery enough to be an optimist.  Over time, I've seen that bitching about something doesn't get it done... and thinking nothing will go wrong and everything will be great just sets yourself up for disappointment when, inevitably, things go awry.  I think with my sense of humor and sarcasm, I tend to get labeled as negative... when I'm only trying to be funny.  I also think that the 'meat and potatoes' of life is in the part where you roll your sleeves up and get dirty.  That's where we learn lessons... that's where we gain knowledge... and that's where we get things done.  Like I said, bitching about it accomplishes nothing... and with having your head in the clouds, you miss what's going on right in front of you.  The heart of life is in the details.

I have an odd sense of what fun is.  For instance, I can go to an amusement park and eat food and sit on a bench and watch people and have the time of my life not riding one ride.  I'm not a thrill-seeker... never have been.. but I'm deep into experiences.  I get a lot of pleasure from accomplishment which is probably why I work so much.  I don't look for fun in every situation because there just sometimes isn't any to be found.  Not every experience has to be life-altering or a memorable occasion or the time of my life.  For people who do look for those things and then don't find it, they become bored or complacent or apathetic and lack focus.  There are many things that I am not, but focus and perseverance are not things that I lack.  When I see a shitty job ahead of me, I buckle down and get it done.  I'm really good with tedium, repetition and challenge.  I don't cut corners and do it the right way.  There's plenty of time for fun later... but serious and relentless are how I am in the throws of it.  I guess that's why people come to me to get things done.  Both a blessing and a curse to be like this, I guess.  My friend Kyle is an optimist... and what I like about him is that he sets the bar for me in thinking positively, but doesn't get upset and is patient with me when I don't hit the mark.  He helps me strive to be better... a lot of people in my life actually do.

I'm not going to lie... building the deck down at camp was a bitch.  A pessimist would have looked at it and said 'forget it'.  And an optimist would have expected everything to go right... and they would have been sorely disappointed.  Me... I expected it to be shitty... it was... and I got it done.  From hand-picking the 124 treated 12 foot long heavy boards, loading them onto three carts that I could barely move, checking out at the Lowes, loading them into a rented truck, driving 45 minutes up the mountain, unloading them by myself, returning the truck and driving back, laying out the 12' X 36' foundation by myself, digging the post holes, taking my shirt off and getting sun-burned to a crisp, running 5 boards short in the middle of a storm with 50 mile-an-hour winds and having to drive two hours back next week to finish just the 5 boards... it all sucked, like I knew it would.  And yet, standing on this side of the project, I can honestly say that I had a fun time because, standing back at the end and looking at the finished product, the sense of accomplishment that I have is overwhelming.  Sure, there was a beautiful view up in the mountains... a nice breeze most of the time... I got to see Scott who set me up with a great room for free... those are all things that made it bearable.  But 'getting 'er done' is priceless... and knowing that there's nothing that you can't accomplish if you put your mind to it is what I live for. 

Cruise Control

Sigh..... (exhales heartily)

It's been a long couple of months getting everything done at the Marriott, but I finished everything up yesterday... now I'm just down to my one day a week grass cutting that takes me anywhere from 3 - 7 hours to do, depending on how fast the grass is growing... and one day of weeding / clipping / trimming, etc.  I can finally put all my tools up in their place on the walls and reclaim my garage for parking again.  Such a wonderous time of year for me when the 12 hour days are over.  Even with the three months off, when you factor in my 12 hour days, sometimes 7 days a week... it all works out in the end... especially with bar hours added in too.  Now, I'll probably take on more nights at the bar and just enjoy the summer.  With recently finding out that the bar is closed the first week of August, I've thrown together a reprise of my Philly/Rehoboth trip that week.  A little close to me getting back from out west, it'll be good to see my friends in Philly throughout the week and see my ex, Scott's new place in Rehoboth though.  I haven't been there in ten years... I always liked the town, but it was too gay for me.  Still, it'll be fun.

I'm heading down to gay camp today to build that 12 X 36 deck for my friend Jimmy.  It'll be great to see Scott since I haven't seen him since April-ish.  It should take me two days to do, barring any problems of getting all the wood up the mountain in my truck and not hitting bedrock.  Unlike the deck I built for my friend, Matthew (pictured), this one will be right on the ground, so it should be simple.  That's usually when things aren't... when you think they will be.  I will be back Thursday night or Friday morning, just in time for the bar.  I really like working with my hands... I should have been a carpenter or electrician.  There's always time... I'm due for a complete career change   :)

Wait Till Your Father Gets Home

There have been two things in my life that have grounded me... one of them was my dog Shelby.  So much of my life's decisions were based on what was best for her, particularly in the way of housing.  I've moved 38 times in my life... and she moved probably half of that with me in her 12 years.  She was pretty adaptable, but for the first month or so at a new place, she'd run to the closet door when I asked her if she wanted to go out to make a sissy... poor thing.  The other thing that grounded me is my Dad... having to watch over him now keeps me from making so many erratic decisions and moves.

Many of you know that I moved my 83 year old Dad in with me because of the situation with my addict brother (see many, many, many previous posts from the last couple of years).  Anyway, it's been an interesting situation for me, especially since I'm used to living by myself.  It's odd how we, as children, become the parents to our parents;  something that I still have yet to get used to.  Throughout my day, I see so many instances that take me back to my childhood when my Dad would scold me for leaving the milk out... or making a mess... or leaving the window open when it rains... taking my shoes off before walking on the rug... or getting me to take the garbage out (the list goes on and on).  And now, it's the reverse... it's me making sure that my Dad does all those things.  I have to keep on him... and he has a child-like sense of accomplishment when he does something that I don't have to remind him of... he points it out to me.  It's really kind of cute.

Whether he's called Dominic, Dom, Pap (Pappy), Dad, or Uncle Butch, he's loved by everyone.   Willing to give you his last nickel and the shirt off his back, he takes care of so many people who can't take care of themselves... which is funny since I have to take care of him.  I learned my sense of helping out the fellow man from him... as well as his work ethic and old-fashioned morals.  He accepted his lot in life;  to work hard for his family and provide for them... and that's exactly what he did.  A brakeman on the P and LE Railroad for 35 years (not an easy job), he was gone several days at a time all throughout my childhood, which makes the time that I have with him now even more precious.  My Mom never worked and didn't drive... and was the disciplinarian... and my Dad was the passive, simple one.  It was my Mom that spanked us, although I managed to get his goat a few times.  I can remember my Mom yelling at me for something that I probably deserved... and I would say back "you just wait until Daddy gets home"... like he was going to side with me.  I was definitely a handful as a child, diagnosed as being hyperactive (today's ADD)... so my being around was enough of a challenge.  I am extremely lucky to have been adopted by him... I couldn't have ended up with a better role model or person.

Some of my most vivid memories growing up with my Dad were...

-  the time he took me to his train yard and let me drive a train
-  sitting at the attic window (which had a view of the top of the street) with our family dog, Lucky... waiting for my Dad to come down the street.  
-  coming home late at night as a teen with him sitting in his chair asleep (waking up, telling me he was only resting his eyes) and I'd catch the end of some black and white movie with him (he turned me on to Sunset Boulevard (my favorite movie now)).
-  how he and I would go out in the ocean in Myrtle Beach and collect sand dollars, and I would go sell them on the beach.
-  the time that I backed the car into the rock wall and poked a hole in the fender and got the car stuck and then hid under the cellar steps for 6 hours.  Or sitting with him in the driveway while he worked on the car (me pounding the cement with his hammer and him getting mad).
-  when my Mom passed and we needed to order flowers from the place that I always got flowers from (Max and Gayles) and he called it 'Massengils' (the douche company).
-  when he was helping me move for the 20th time... he said to me "so, do you think this will be the last move?"... and I said 'probably not'... and that was ok with him.  While I don't think he understands what possesses me to do some of the things that I do, he supports my crazy unconditionally.
-  him walking up the sidewalk on my 12th birthday with my Easy-Bake Oven (God, how did they not know I was gay?).  I can still remember how I lit up watching him come up the sidewalk... with a grin on my face a mile wide.

My Dad was always physically strong as well as very handy at fixing anything.  It's hard to see him now... aging... his cognitive skills not as sharp... he can't figure things out things like he used to... his strength is gone... he can't hear so well... he's having some back problems... he sits so much.  It breaks my heart and sometimes my spirit to see him slow down... much like the effects of kryptonite on Superman, so is aging on my super hero.  Yes, these years are precious... and things happen for a reason.  I joke about his toast crumbs... and his dirty fingerprints here and there... but I wouldn't trade this time for anything.  There's not a day that goes by that I don't think... 'is this going to be the day?'  Being a person of habit, all it takes is him being 15 minutes late for me to start worrying about something happening to him, because then I'll be on my own.... and even though I take care of everything now... I'd really have to be an adult.  As long as my Daddy is around... I don't have to fully grow up.

We have everything we need, so I like to get him a card and get him some scratch-off lottery tickets to put in the envelope.  It gives him something to do and, who knows, he may win something big (my retirement as well)... so it's a win-win situation.  When he opened the envelope and saw the tickets, he lit up.  That's his Easy-Bake Oven.

Anyone remember this show?

I Can See Clearly Now...

This weekend was Columbus' Pride Festival... and being so close (3.5 hours away), many people went there for the weekend, some of my friends included.  So when the bar was packed last night, I was very surprised.  The thing with the Blue Moon is that it's a neighborhood bar in the city, so some people don't have cars... so they are kind of stuck in the neighborhood.  Also, our clientele is looking for a $3.25 vodka/cranberry or a $1.75 Pabst Blue Ribbon tall can... so world travelers, they're not.  It was fun... and a bunch of my friends came out.  In the back of my mind, I expected it to be slow... and once you have something in your head, it's hard to break out of that mindset... I never seemed to catch up all night long.  Tonight, while I thought I was working 5 pm - close, I'm only working until 10 pm... covering for the mid-shift... so I'll probably go harrass some bartender at another bar somewhere for a little bit.  Incidentally, my shirt says "On your mark, get set, GO AWAY"!

David Marriott is scheduled for a visit on Tuesday... so I have a few things to do before his arrival at the hotel... but not too much.  Then a few things next week for the audit the following Tuesday... and then I'm in the clear until Fall cleanup.  I'm heading down this coming week to gay camp for a few days to build that deck.  Then vacation... where I can just breattttthhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Light At The End

With this spring being so rainy, it's put me behind in my work.  I'm usually done by this time of year and down to my one or two days a week grass cutting and maintenance.  My contract with the Marriott is front-loaded... with the winter clean-up of of 15 acres, pruning of 200 trees and double the amount of shrubs/hedges, 75 yards of mulching and planting of over 600 annuals, there's so much to do April and May, not to mention keeping up with the 8 hour grass cutting day at the same time.  It's a big property, and it takes time... I do 98% of it myself.

I love this property... flanked by a creek on one side and woods on the other, it's a very natural setting which works well with my style... 'walked upon in the woods'.  I don't do sculptured or placed... but rather a natural setting using crumbled rocks and open spaces and non-fussy plants, allowing for a look that you would find in nature.

Every day that I go into work with a certain plan, it usually is blocked by something... a wedding in the area I was going to work or some other contractor doing work... rain, heat or snow... a full parking lot keeping me from getting to an area, etc... so I need to be able to switch gears if need be.  And that's only the process of trying to get it completed.  Once I get it done, there are so many things that work against me... too much sun, too much shade, heat, rain, wind, flooding, bugs, deer, rabbits, moles, employees, dogs, customers, sprinkler system/lack of one, poor soil... to name a few.   I do what I can do to make it nice for 5 minutes... after that, it's a crap-shoot.

After lots of rain and then weeks of 95 degree, humid days, this past week or so has really cooperated.  With temperatures in the 60's, it's been great... I've gotten so much done this past week.  I'm really exhausted... between this and the bar.  Next week, I have the deck to build and a little more work at the hotel... then I'm on vacation for a week.  With much-needed rest, planning a trip that is so labor intensive in hot temperatures probably wasn't the best idea.  I should have planned a more relaxing time.  All hotels have pools, so I may fore go exertion for relaxation. I'm looking forward to getting away and coming back clear-headed.