You Gotta Get a Porcelain Fountain...

A reprise of the original... You gotta get a chandelier...

New Truck

I picked up my new truck today...

Hickory, PA Apple Festival

Every year, I go to the Hickory, PA Apple Festival. It's a pretty small affair, but the biggest thing to happen to this small town each year. And it draws a lot of people in. This year, they added a few rides and some games, but the usual draws were there... the petting zoo, the live Falcon display, farm machinery, log art, and a slew of food booths. Caramel apples, apple pie (they baked 2100 pies this year), apple butter, apple dumplings, funnel cakes, french fries, pulled pork sandwiches, apple cider, bean soup, homemade bread... the list goes on. They also had a bluegrass band performing such hits as the Moonshine song, et al. They all looked like they were each 100 years old, smoked a pack of cigarettes to warm up their voices, were dragged over to the stage by their feet behind a truck and that their ritual bath was still a month away. Except for the banjo player... some younger kid. Rednecks... you gotta love 'em. Hard to believe all this goes on 20 minutes from the city.

Fall

I love this time of year...

- pumpkins are being displayed (except like above... yikes)
- going to Apple Festivals (like we're doing today)
- riding in the car with the windows down and the heat blasting
- leaves blowing up on the road
- sleeping with the window cracked, snuggled up in bed
- leaves changing colors
- caramel apples, pumpkin log, candy corn

This is Unbelievably Awesome

The Prediction @ Yahoo! Video

Packing Up Camp and Getting Out of Dodge...

This morning, I went down to camp and packed up my things in the trailer and also my massage room. I'm pretty much (96%) sure I'm not heading down there next season/not doing massages... and I was only going down one more weekend this season, but now I'm not... so I decided to get my stuff and return the keys to my friend Matthew. Perhaps my view on camp will change over the winter, but I doubt it. I need a break from there and a change of scenery.

It was a beautiful morning though for a drive. There was an eerie fog in places... it looked like smoke swirling through the air.

Zombieland...

We kind of turned Monday Movie Madness into Friday Film Freakshow by going to see Zombieland tonight. It stars Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg. From the first line of the movie, it was a total scream. Never have I had so much fun in a movie before... and a non-sensical one at that. The movie, much like Will Smith's 'I am Legend'... with the movie opening on an apocalypse of sorts... we learn that a virus started that turned people into zombies and they chase the non-zombies and bite/eat them and they turn into zombies too. Being the last few humans left, a day in the life becomes trying to stick to your rules to stay alive and kill the zombies, looking for civilization of some sort. In between, the quest for Twinkies... why cardio is so important... what's a double-tap... why rednecks are so invaluable and (oops) you shot Bill Murray. Oh... and, btw... Jesse Eisenberg and I are dating... he doesn't know yet. He is the cutest nerd ever.

This is, by far, the most entertaining, funny movie I have seen in a long time. Once you have the plot (explained above), you get no closer to finding out more of how it happened or even what happens to the world. It's not important... just go along for the ride. This gets 5 bags of leaves out of 5... and I'm standing there waiting for more leaves to drop.

Serenity

Today, I decided since it was a beautiful morning, to get out on the road. I went an hour north to the outlet mall, rode by my half brother's place that lives up in that area, then headed to Boardman Ohio for more shopping. I stopped by Shenango Lake... just south of Pymatuning. I didn't buy anything... but had a great day riding in the car (about 150 miles). Very therapeutic.

Bees

Last night, I had a dream that I was being attacked by a swarm of bees. I'm sure that if I looked that dream up, it would translate to my brother's constant, unending pestering. As I predicted, he called today... and wants me to pay his $400 rent at the halfway house so he doesn't have to be on the street. The same place that he got thrown out from last week after 4 days for using again while there. And it's happened in the past (where we pay and he gets thrown out and we lose the money). The best is when he says he'll pay us back. That has never happened. If he gives us money, he just wants to borrow it again a few days later and hounds you until you give it to him.

If I were a betting man, I would have higher odds of winning betting $400 that the end of the world is coming in 15 minutes than my brother making it a week without using. And as usual, the whole ordeal paralyzed me today... I'm just getting out of bed now. It's having to have the debate with an irrational person... the time involved... dredging up all the past times... and basically being put in the position of being 'the bad guy'... because he neither understands why I'd say no, doesn't care about or even admit what he's done in the past... nor will he put himself in anyone else's shoes. It's like it's the first time he's ever asked for anything each time. And while we are scarred from previous battles and disappointments, he's bubbly and, for 45 minutes, all excited about making progress. Until the drugs become the option. Then it's starts all over again. Now we have to be on alert. I have to go to the horseshoe courts and warn my Dad. This is my life.

Smoke Gets In My Eyes...

Today, I started painting the hallway. It's amazing, as seen in the photos, the difference in color between the fresh paint (an off-white, no less) and the paint on the walls, saturated with nicotine and smoke... it's really disgusting. What's even more disgusting is my brother and my Dad, the smokers, were nowhere in sight painting over their mess. Not to bitch, but it's amazing to me that the more you try to be a good person, the more you get fucked over in life. My brother, who did nothing around the house for years... who had my Dad run him all over town, getting him up for work every day, making his meals, washing his clothes... took well over $120k over that time period from my Dad... did nothing but sit and smoke and watch TV and use drugs... and now I have to go over there and clean up all the mess... worry about my Dad's finances... worry about my Dad's health... and my brother got his already. Of course he blew it on drugs, but still. And what's left, I will have to pay off the debt that my brother and nephew got my Dad into and take care of my Dad with. The lesson: Fuck everyone over, including (and especially) your family and you will get what you want.

Progress...

Yesterday, I went back over to my Dad's and had a pretty productive day painting a couple of rooms. My Mom was very particular about the way she kept the house clean and after my Dad and brother and his friend lived there over the last 15 years since her death, it's an absolute mess. I cringed when I went over there knowing how my Mom must be rolling over in her grave. More and more, the house lost all resemblance of my Mom. Yesterday, standing in a freshly-painted and cleaned room, I was transported back... it almost felt like she'd be calling me from the other room. It was great to feel her presence again, as silly as that sounds. It's very therapeutic for me to get things accomplished over there... one step closer to getting rid of my brother's safe haven and getting things paid off for my Dad. My friend, a real estate broker, is coming over to look at the house to get it on the market.

Last night, with Monday Movie Madness, Matt and I went to see 'The Informant' with Matt Damon. A true story about a whistle-blower at a company in the 1990's, Matt Damon was excellent as the lead, gaining weight and taking on all the quirky traits of the character. The movie was very entertaining, well done and funny. I would highly recommend it. Since it's fall and all the flowers are dying, no more petunia ratings until spring. So I give it 4 bags of leaves (and half a bag raked up) out of 5.

The Dahntahn Song...

I stole this from Matt's blog... too funny!!

Overhead...

There's always a black cloud over my head. Peace and quiet doesn't seem to be an option for me. I find myself constantly trying to 'get away' and being by myself has become less of a desire and more of a necessity.

I'm exhausted with being my family's rock. The parent. The logical one who takes it all on and figures it all out. I've spent the last six months trying to shield my Dad from my brother, but mainly from himself. Every single phone call from my brother turns out to be a defeat of some sort. Short of disconnecting the phone, finding a way to totally isolate my Dad's money from himself and locking him in the house, I don't know how else to get it all to stop. I've watched 5 hours of 'Supernanny' today... and realized that I'd have a better chance with 3 4-yr-olds than one 44-year-old and an 81-yr-old. I didn't sign up for this.

Yesterday I got a few rooms painted at the old house. I told my brother that I would take him to rehab today and that he had to be out of the house. All morning long, knowing that he'd be out of there as soon as I went over there and got him, that still wasn't enough to motivate me. I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed to get the process going. I've been through it so many times that I know that it's not the answer... not for him and his problem (he will never change no matter what opportunity he is given or who helps him) and not for peace and quiet for us. Until he is dead, he will never go away. I've lost any compassion for him and his situation... I don't care what happens to him as long as we're not involved. That's a terrible way to feel, but it's what I've been pushed to. And while I go get him and take him back down to the half-way house that he was thrown out of last week (for using, I found out), it's only a matter of time before he's back. It's always waiting for the other shoe to drop that's the hardest.

After I dropped him off, I didn't want to go home. I'm so mad with my Dad but I'm blue in the face telling him what he needs to do. It's a waste of my breath and energy. I stopped out to my Mom's gravesite... I thought I might have some sort of revelation or maybe I'd break down and cry, since I've felt like I've been on the verge all day... but, nothing. I am tired, emotionless, depressed and mentally spent... there's no escape.

This Pothole Must be in the South Somewhere...

I love this commercial... her voice is so funny. I don't know who it is though... no one seems to know... sounds like Britney Spears and Reese Witherspoon and Anna Nicole all rolled into one.

Guido In the Making

This was my drivers license back in 1984... when I thought that I was Italian. You can tell by:
1. My tanned mediterranical skintone
2. My perm
3. My hairy chest with shirt open
4. My big fat Italian gold chain (with optional Italian horn (not pictured))
5. My guido mustache

This was the period in my life where I would leave the back of my hair longer so that I could get a kinky-curl perm in the back of it only... or sometimes all over, at which point I would have to round brush blow it out straight or back-comb it to the desired dago effect. It was all the rage... raging Italian-wanna-be gayboy, more like it. What would I have done differently if I had known at the time that I was Hungarian instead of Italian?

It Must Be a Full Moon...

I went back to the Holocaust Museum this morning. Yesterday, when Tom and I went, we had to rush through the back two-thirds since we were rushing to get to the Spy Museum (which turned out to be a little disappointing) before they closed. There's so much information to absorb and, although depressing, the Holocaust Museum is very well done. That period in history is so unbelievable... it's hard to comprehend. And no matter how many times I see it on the History Channel, I still don't get it. Today I got it, and boy did I ever. Already emotionally drained from the three hours I spent in there, my Dad called in the middle of it and, frantic, said my brother got thrown out of the half-way house (probably for doing drugs, although we'll never know the truth), so my Dad went and got him and didn't know what to do with him, so he's at the old house again.

Although it's a toss-up as to whether I want my Dad to tell me or not, it usually ruins my time no matter where I am, but I'd rather know what's going on. Not knowing what he's up to is worse. Knowing his patterns, he's backed into a corner and will try anything to get what he wants, including taking everything out of the old house and selling it, lying to my Dad for money (that he doesn't have at this point) or coming up with his usual schemes. That my Dad got him and took him there has defeated my brother hitting rock bottom again.

So with that, I got on the Metro to the hotel, got in my car and drove home, cutting my trip short. I was supposed to head to Tom's tonight to stay with him a few days and head to Busch Gardens on Saturday with him and his friends. He has been so wonderful during my stay... offering information, taking time off work to hang with me, offering his place to me... he's such a wonderful, caring guy. I should have held onto him tighter when I first met him this past Spring at camp. And I never got to hang out with my friend Sean, which was supposed to be tomorrow night. He also offered a place for me to stay. It's great to have people care about you.

Oh well... Home Sweet (barricaded, rioted, tear-gassed, G-20'd, overbearing-familied) Home.

Up, Up and Away...

Double-click on the pictures to see the larger views... these were all taken from the top of the Washington Monument... 490 feet up, from all four sides...starting with the Jefferson Memorial (and bridge where the plane went down in the ice), then the Lincoln Memorial (with the WWII Memorial in the foreground), then the White House (and the Ellipse) and then the Capitol Building (with the Smithsonian museums on either side of the National Mall grass area). As many time as I have been to D.C., I've never been up in the Washington Monument. It took 40 years to complete... and uses no mortar to hold it together... the carved stones just balance and rest on each other... 90,000 tons of it. I also went through the Spy Museum and the Holocaust Museum... as well as the outside of the White House.

Camera Pictures...

Some of the highlights were the ruby slippers from the Wizard of Oz, Julia Child's kitchen, th Hope Diamond, sections of the Berlin wall (all in the Smithsonian), and pictures of the Jefferson, Washington, and Lincoln Memorials. You can double-click on any picture to view the large version.

Good Thing History Already Happened...

I was dragging this morning from all the walking I did yesterday... so I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted to. Today I did the American and Natural History Museums. I guess the highlights were the Hope Diamond, the Ruby Slippers, Archie Bunker's chair... and Julia Child's kitchen... which is exciting since I just saw Julie and Julia a month ago. Tomorrow I'll be doing the Holocaust and Spy museums.