Sparkle ball...

Simple, but utterly fantastic

Popcorn in your hair, anyone?

A PG-13 rating is a sterner warning by the Rating Board to parents to determine whether their children under age 13 should view the motion picture, as some material might not be suited for them. A PG-13 motion picture may go beyond the PG rating in theme, violence, nudity, sensuality, language, adult activities or other elements, but does not reach the restricted R category. The theme of the motion picture by itself will not result in a rating greater than PG-13, although depictions of activities related to a mature theme may result in a restricted rating for the motion picture. Any drug use will initially require at least a PG-13 rating. More than brief nudity will require at least a PG-13 rating, but such nudity in a PG-13 rated motion picture generally will not be sexually oriented. There may be depictions of violence in a PG-13 movie, but generally not both realistic and extreme or persistent violence. A motion picture’s single use of one of the harsher sexually-derived words, though only as an expletive, initially requires at least a PG-13 rating. More than one such expletive requires an R rating, as must even one of those words used in a sexual context. The Rating Board nevertheless may rate such a motion picture PG-13 if, based on a special vote by a two-thirds majority, the Raters feel that most American parents would believe that a PG-13 rating is appropriate because of the context or manner in which the words are used or because the use of those words in the motion picture is inconspicuous.

So, today, I was almost thrown out of a movie because I 'threatened' to punch two little kids that were behind us (without a parent) if they didn't stop throwing popcorn, spitting things at people through their straws, pounding on the floor and the seat in front of them, talking, burping and, I'd bet my life on it... farting. After telling the manager and him not doing anything, I took matters into my own hands and went back to them myself. The one kid went and told the usher and the usher came in to me and threatened to throw me out for 'threatening' them.

I find it ironic that everyone was so worried about me 'threatening' to punch them... as if that would be any more scarring to their young minds compared to the sex, swearing and knife-weilding killing going on in the movie that they should have never been able to be let into. After the movie, and after other people in the movie applauded me for getting them to stop, I went to the manager and asked why they were let in there. Apparently the rating system is just a suggestion to parents about the content and whether their kids should see it.

The parents obviously dropped the kids off unattended at the movie so they obviously don't care what they see as long as they are out of their hair. The rating says "some material may be inappropriate for children under 13"... so the parents already must have had some idea that their children would be inappropriately threatened... especially knowing how terrible their kids are. It also says "parents strongly cautioned"... and if the parent isn't present to be cautioned, then the kids will be.... strongly. What can I say, I have issues.

Is this discrimination to my sexual orientation?

While working at the Marriott in the Steelhead Lounge, there were many TVs on with some sporting event on and, although not a sports bar, it was widely accepted as the meeting place of the testosterone-pumped male. It was commonplace that employees would stop their work or congregate around the TV to catch a 10-15 minute glimpse of the game... every 10-15 minutes or so. Why is that acceptable? What if I wanted to watch someone fierce on Project Runway... or the Tony Awards were on and I wanted to see the fabulous Patti LuPone win a lifetime achievement award... or the 100th episode of Desperate Housewives was airing... or even the men's gymnastics finals were on... not even that one would be accepted even though technically it is a sport... (and while we're at it, hate to tell you but men rolling around on the floor in a cage mostly naked pressing their bodies together that ends in a hissy fit with kicking and slapping is called gay porn gone a wry, not extreme wrestling).

I heard that on Monday, schools will have a two-hour delay because it is planned on that the, now hormonally-unbalanced but future testosterone-pumped, wife-beating, beer-drinking boys of Pittsburgh will be tired from Sunday's event. I'm tired on Sunday's too... the frustration of waiting for Gabby to return to her former fabulous, rich self and how she will get rid of her bratty kids... whether Edie Britt will leave her husband... and whether or not Kevin and his boyfriend will ever escape from under Nora's thumb. That's real drama... Sports fans need to get a life... like me.

Only in Pittsburgh...

I took a break from redding up the house and decided to go up to the Giant Iggle to get something to eat n'at and I was pushing the buggy through the store and the floor was very slippy.

I'd like to think that I was doing some housework and went to the supermarket for food and was pushing the cart on the floor that was slippery, but that's not what happened. Perhaps if I was in Boston or Chicago, that may have happened. But here, and also coming from one who genuinely puts an effort into speaking correctly, it happened exactly as stated the first time... and I'm ok with that. It even sounds more exciting. You gotta love Pittsburgh... n'at.

It's the little things in life...

These are new... the Cherry Lemonade ones are awesome!! Haven't had the other ones yet. I'm pretty easy to please :)

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades...

DOCTOR TO PATIENT: "Mr. Smith, we were a little off on our estimation of how long you have to live... instead of 13 months, it was supposed to be 13 minutes."

FIREMAN TO HOMEOWNER: "Ma'am, we put out the fire on 80% of your home."

FORMER PRES. BUSH TO THE CITIZENS: "I think there are weapons of mass destruction."

Ok, maybe the last one was a bad example (lol), but there isn't any profession where it is more widely accepted that you didn't do your job like a weather forecaster... maybe the new symbol of weather should be changed to "W".

Land Rage

I was recently watching a movie called "Noise" starring Tim Robbins. It's about this guy and his family and he slowly gets enraged by car alarms going off in his NYC neighborhood. He takes it to a vigilante level and rages war on the offenders that don't turn them off and let them go on and on. Blah blah blah, windshields smashed, tires slashed, he ends up in jail, his marriage falls apart... that's not the point. The point is that there are many things throughout my day and I can relate to this guy... things drive me crazy... people opening candy during a movie, people who don't use proper English, drivers who slow down going into a tunnel... you get the picture. I am the poster-child for road rage, it's just that, for me, it spills over into times that I am not on the road as well. Land rage, you can call it. Regardless, it can't be healthy for me so I have decided to vent on this blog.