A Diamond in the Rough

It's that time of year, with Valentine's Day fast approaching... love is in the air (and, completely unrelated, the flu).  With it being cold out, you're forced indoors and under the covers.  If you're lucky to have a dog or, better yet, a significant other... then you have it made.  It's funny how we're like the bears in the sense that we hibernate in Winter.  Still, I can't imagine lying in a cave for many months, but the peace and quiet and rest would be nice.  Lord knows, I have enough fat to live off.

I know a lot of people who have found a special someone lately, myself included.  The Greek god of love must be shining down on us all... maybe 2013 is the year.  Now 45, I don't think I've ever been so sexually charged as I am at this age.  I totally believe in guys maturing sexually later in life... not to be confused with your teen years and early twenties when your wiener got hard with the slightest breeze.  It's different at this age because you know what to do with that energy.  This is most evident if you've watched twink porn or been with someone younger... dumbasses have no idea what they are doing or how to do it.  It's all about getting to the climax whereas when older, it becomes about the whole experience... for both people and how giving can be just as pleasing to yourself as receiving (touch, or whatever the case may be).  Foreplay isn't part of the equation with the younger guys.  Much like getting a present and tearing through the wrapping to reveal what's inside, many aspects are lost in the action... admiring the paper... appreciating the time, effort and manner that it's wrapped... the possibility of saving the paper/recycling, not to mention the mystery of guessing what's inside.  And while this isn't a bashing of younger guys, it does address how most younger guys have no idea how to think of someone else and want things immediately.  This is most easily seen when you hold back sex on a twenty-something... the interest in you is quickly lost.  Maybe this generation is used to getting things instantly by pressing a key.  Constant stimulation is required.

It's funny... Robin and I go to this local coffee shop for open mic night.  The first time, there were a bunch of older, Vietnam war types that sang folk music.  This past week, there were a lot of hipsters who got up and sang and played the guitar.  And while I can appreciate any type of artistic outpour, it's hard for me to watch someone singing about strife and hardship when it's possible that they've never gone through any.  Very few could sing well and play at the same time and I suspect their parents telling them they can do 'anything'... (and not 'anything that they set their minds to' (because that would require doing the work)), is why they got up there.  Much like graduating from college and expecting a $70k/year job but not getting one, you aren't owed anything and you just can't show up.  There's always work to be done and relationships are no different.  You can't pick up a guitar and play a beautiful song unless you've learned the notes and practiced.

I think gays have a hard time committing because they don't put much effort into anyone other than themselves.  They're always looking for the next best thing and don't see what's in front of them.  They fail to connect in a way that love needs to grow and don't do the work to nurture it into something deeper.  As a result, they go from person to person never having anything real... just a surficular (only on the surface) interaction that's unfulfilling. 

I'm glad I met the guy I'm dating.  At 39, he's very caring, attentive, selfless, compassionate and one of the best people I know.  He's a rarity in this 'lifestyle'... a real gem... and I'm so thankful that he came into my life.