Because George Michael Tells Me So

I've always been a highly logical person rooted deeply in science and needing physical proof of things or have it be right in front of my face to have belief.  'The proof is in the pudding' and 'actions speak louder than words' are mantras that I tend to live by because there's a tangible result.  In school, I was never any good at algebra and always good at geometry since the shapes and theories were easily proven visually.  Witchcraft, the paranormal, superstition and (dare I lump these all together), religion... are all things that I can't wrap my head around.

Faith is described in the dictionary as "confidence or trust in a person or thing or another's ability"... going further by saying "belief that is not based on proof".   The Bible defines faith as “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”, which doesn't surprise me since faith is the cornerstone of the basis for religion and the Bible is chock-full of things that can't be explained by evidence. 

Being gay, it's difficult to separate how the Church acts and what they say.  There isn't a better example of hypocrisy and the actions speak louder proverb couldn't be more proven by religion.  "God is Love", "Love Thy Neighbor", "We are all God's Children"... are all things regurgitated but seldom followed, especially in regards to gays.  So it's no wonder that the majority of gays are Athiests, myself included.  After all, how can I believe in something that, supposedly, condemns me to the bowels of Hell when it was, supposedly, that something that created me, and in it's image?  This becomes a real struggle for those who believe and a battle that can't be won, resulting in constant angst and, in cases, taking one's life.

In my rationalization, I have to believe that if there is a higher power and they created me, then they know what they're doing (faith in another's ability).  And while I don't follow the scriptures and the teachings of the Bible, I was taught what was right and wrong, and I try to live my life accordingly.  I answer to myself and I do what I do because it's the right thing to do, whether what's respectable, kind, considerate, moral, or what's law.  I don't look for praise for my deeds.  I don't do it for promise of reward or threat of punishment as religion dictates.  It's most times thankless and not the easiest path to take, but I do it to hold myself accountable.  In this regard, I often feel that I am more 'Christian' than Christians are.  My further belief is that, if there is a higher power, on my judgment day, how I lived my life and treated others would be valued as much as anyone who 'believes'... and who I loved (as if it's a sin) wouldn't take precedent over how I loved.

In the horror movies, our limits of belief are pushed more and more.  What seems totally ridiculous plays out in front of us in HD IMAX stereophonic realness, opening the door ever so slightly for doubt.  And while I may say I'm not superstitious, I can't say that I wouldn't turn down another street to avoid a black cat that crossed my path, or if I break a mirror that I'm not looking over my shoulder... or if I spill salt, I don't throw a bit over my shoulder, just in case.  And maybe there is a boogeyman under my bed (feel free to look for me, I don't even let my foot dangle over the bed out of the covers)... and maybe there are times when I feel an evil spell is cast upon me by the local witch, I guess I 'gotta have faith' that it's not true to continue on with my day, much like those religious have their belief system.  Perhaps I'm more of faith than I care to admit, so I'll keep being a good person, just in case.  Besides, the humidity we're having is already way more than I can handle, much less the pits of Hell... and it wreaks havoc on my skin and height of my hair.  What does the Bible say about vanity?