No-Man's Land

Despite that it was raining, yesterday turned out to be a great day.  I've always loved getting in the truck and driving in any direction, stopping at little country stores and cruising through small towns caught in a 1970's time warp.  It's interesting to see what's still in the windows or on the shelves.  So, when Julie invited me to go with her to Cambridge, Ohio, her parents hometown, I jumped on the idea of a day-trip. 

Through some of the most beautiful countryside, we ended up at her cousin Robyn's house, then to a local restaurant, Theo's (which used to be called Coney Island, and is still referred to as such by the locals, not willing to accept change) where I was tempted to have the 'moist and sassy' chicken sandwich (but couldn't get the vision of a 52 year old Boca Raton Jewish cougar out of my mind), then settled for an old favorite of mine (actually introduced to me by Julie's Mom)... Johnny Marzetti.  Originating in the Columbus, Ohio area at a restaurant aptly named "Marzetti's", it's a casserole much like Hamburger Helper... with  macaroni, tomato sauce, ground beef and cheese.  Anyway, they were out, so I had a burger instead with their famous custard pie.

After that, we rode around town looking at relative's houses, followed by stops at all the local cemetaries to see the relative's that were dead and didn't have a house for us to do a drive-by... and her Grandfather's farm.  They actually had an aerial view of the farm etched on his gravestone, which was awesome (I thought about getting the Marriott etched on mine, since it will probably be what kills me). 

As I suspected, I learned a lot about Julie's family (falling) in the process including where her mother fell through the barn floor... where her sister fell off a horse... and the mechanics of how her cousin fell in love with her cousin's cousin (and how the offspring won't result in a three-headed baby named Bubba).  You gotta love rural America... and what happens in the country, stays in the country (unless you need to take your three-headed child to the big city to pop a head or two off it).

All told, it was almost a 300 mile adventure.  It was nice to spend time with Julie like we did in the past as kids.  I look forward to my next visit to 'Lamebridge'.

What'd You Call Me?

I have been called many things in my life and yesterday, I was called 'snarky'... yep, that's dead-on-balls accurate.... I'd say that snarky is the new smart-ass...

Snarky

(Adj) - Any language that contains quips or comments containing sarcastic or satirical witticisms intended as blunt irony. Usually delivered in a manner that is somewhat abrupt and out of context and intended to stun and amuse. Origin: Snark="snide remark".

Evelyn always called attention to the proverbial pink elephant in the room with her snarky comments.

Melting..... Melting.... What a World....

I hope it continues to rain today.  Besides all the flowers that I planted that need watering, there's another reason, and it may make me sound really mean.  Over the winter, we lost a lot of trees that literally fell over with the weight of the snow.... and I mean 30 foot Pine trees.  Huge.  Apparently this bride saw the area last July and booked her wedding last year, for today (an outdoor wedding with an outside area fee of $350).  Last week, she stopped by to go over the details and flipped out because the trees had fallen and, despite our replacing them with 7 foot trees, she was livid.  She had talked about suing the hotel and the landscaper for not replacing them with 30 foot trees and how that was going to ruin her wedding.  I'm not sure how big the White House Xmas tree is, but I'd venture to guess that it's about that size... and was probably brought in on a tractor trailer and probably weighed at least 5 tons?  The root ball was probably as big as a Hyundai Accent, or a Yugo at least.  And nevermind about the cost... I can only imagine.  I did look up a 30 foot, pre-lit artifical Xmas tree and it was about $27k.  She also thought that, despite it dropping below freezing last week, that we should have had the annuals in and she demanded that we put $10k worth of flowers in and all white.  We planted $250 worth back there and it looks like the Poppy field outside of Oz (there's so many of them).  CLEARLY, this bitch is out of her f-ing mind and she has, un-arguably, earned the title 'Bridezilla'.

The funny thing about this 'woman' is that, with all her micromanaging, badgering, belittling and overanalyzation of every detail, she failed to figure in that with being in Pittsburgh in May that the likelihood of it raining is very high... and all the other banquet rooms are booked with people who were intelligent enough... so with that, I say... let it rain... And I hope the witch/bitch melts, but not on my new trees/flowers.

YUM !! (Jeans/Barefoot)

A Sigh of Relief

When it was all said and done, over 3,000 annuals were planted over the last two days.  This is a huge amount of flowers... in fact, I don't want to see another flower.  I am happy to announce that the spring cleanup is finally completed.  Between cleaning up all the fallen trees from the snow, pruning over 80 full-size trees and countless bushes, edging and spreading 65 yards of mulch, planting 35 trees and bushes and, finally, the flower planting... I am finally to a point where I am only at the Marriott one day a week cutting the grass.  This brings a mixture of emotions for me... first, I don't know what I will do with myself to not be there every day 10+ hours a day... secondly I feel like crying out of sheer exhaustion and relief... and lastly, a sense of pride in all that I have been able to accomplish at the level of quality that I provide. 

Having had several helpers over the last year or two doing landscaping (of various ages from 23 years old and up)... I can honestly say that my stongest quality is my sheer perseverance... that no matter how tired, frustrated or worn out I am, I still come back for more and keep going until the job is done, all the while not cutting corners and doing it, albeit sometimes, the hard way to reach the goal if need be.  I discount those all the time... and it isn't until I am going along side by side with a 20-something and my energy level is ten times theirs that I realize that this trait isn't run-of-the-mill. 

I was supposed to be at camp this weekend but I wanted to finish up my work before rushing down there.  Next weekend will be the first big weekend, so I plan to head down there on Wednesday to get set up and also relax a bit before I start massage on Saturday.  After that, I have several small projects for people that I have been putting off, and I am bidding on a mulch job for a local Lowes. 

The weather this year has been so back and forth that I forget that it's only May... a few 80 degree days in April spoiled us.  I am finally ready for summer to start... just in time.

Pansies

After what seems like months of rain, we finally got a sunny day today... just in time to spend the day planting 1,700 annuals.  Between being on my hands and knees yesterday spreading 5 yards of mulch by hand and then today again, my knees have seen more ground than an alley street whore (or alter boy, for you Catholics who have never employed a 'lady of the night').  Anyway, they hurt... and my legs are achy... next week, I'll be 43... It's all downhill.

Hi-Tech

I'm so tired of all the things in my life that are supposed to make it more organized and simple.  On the contrary, it makes me frustrated that they try to improve things that worked fine before.  And not only do you have to find a new way to do the old things that you knew how to do before but, because of every company's proprietary insecurities, they set things up to fight with another application to be the default.  On top of all that, half the time, when you do figure it out, it doesn't work.

I got a new phone last week.  When my bluetooth radio in my truck syncs with the phone, the phone starts playing songs on the phone that I didn't put on there.  After I deleted all the songs off (not easily) and froze the music application not to operate... now the radio and phone sync and it turns the source from radio or cd to just blank air... and I have to then manually switch it back.... at least ten times a day.  When I put in a ticket with the phone manufacturer, they suggested I not use the bluetooth. Are you kidding me?  Besides, if I wanted a piece of technology to play music in my truck, I would plug in my iPod.

With the trojan horse that I had on my computer, I had to reinstall Windows 7 because the Internet Explorer wouldn't work and Windows won't let you use anything else.  As a result, I lost all my personal files and had to start from scratch rebuilding the computer.  I also lost my whole music library with iTunes, but was lucky enough to be able to download a program for $20 that took the songs off my iPod and put them back into iTunes.  Once that happened, there was a problem with the two syncing.... so I had to wipe out my iPod and then reload everything back on again.

Why does this have to be so hard?

Give and Take

Some days, there are some bad things and also some good... hopefully they balance themselves out, or maybe come out ahead a little on the good side.  Today was one of those days.  Still raining, I managed to get enough energy up to get some landscaping work done (pruned 50 trees, planted 6 rose bushes and removed 9 stumps)... but, as I was getting ready to leave the house... that's when it happened... I was forced to racially profile.

My Dad is old-school simple.  Sadly, he (and my Aunt) came from that era where they still call black people 'colored'.  It's all pretty innocent and my Dad would do anything for anyone... so it's not specifically prejudice, it more old-school stupidity.  He'll say 'we got some new neighbors... they're colored"... at which point I counter with.... "why can't they just be neighbors... why do you have to say what nationality they are and what color are they Dad, green?"... blah blah blah.  So when we got some new next door neighbors a few weeks ago, I blogged that we got some new neighbors... I never mentioned that they were Asian.  I mean, I didn't have to... it made no difference what nationality they were... but damnit if they didn't run over the tree out front this morning... and at the angle that they had their van, I cannot even begin to imagine how they did it if I didn't see the results with my own two eyes.  I  called out to my Dad who was in the living room watching the birds and The Price is Right "can you believe that the neighbors just ran over the tree out front" and he replied (without hesitation) "that's because Asians can't drive"... and I sat and thought about it, as I went out and propped the tree up with some rope and a stake in the ground... and he was right.  We have new Asian neighbors... and my Dad and I are both going to hell.  Surely, we won't have them drive us there.

The Origin of Words and Phrases

I've blogged in the past about some of the sayings that my Mom used to say... one of them was about having a pot to piss in.  Turns out they used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor". But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot.......they "didn’t have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.  As per my Mom, worse than that were people who "didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out" (one of her favorite sayings).

In the 1500’s, most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell . .. . brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor... hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all, the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it… hence the saying "don't throw the baby out with the bath water".

Houses had thatched roofs with thick straw, piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof… hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs".

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. A bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt…hence the saying, "dirt poor". The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way, called a "thresh hold".

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon". They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat”.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the “upper crust”.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a “wake”.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the “graveyard shift”) to listen for the bell, and someone could be “saved by the bell” or was considered a “dead ringer”.

See comments below for a few more tidbits...

YUM !! (Italian-Style)

Parenting 101

Am I the only one that thinks this would be a fun time for this kid?  Being jarred around, mud splashed up in their face.... branches smacking it like a Catholic school nun on knuckles... good times!!  I think there should be a law, or at least a social understanding that if you can't control your child in a public place... that you should step aside and let someone else give it a whack... and by 'whack', I mean across the bum.  As my mother always said... 'I'll give you something to cry about".  That was always good enough for us and it worked.  Nowadays, parents try to reason with children... the 'reason' you shouldn't cry, little spawn of the devil, is because you will be smacked and put in the trunk of the car.  There's your reason.

NOTE:  This post was brought to you by the anger enthralled by the incident in Barnes and Noble a few minutes ago where a child was screaming for no good reason and the parent just ignored the child... for ten minutes... while the rest of us could not (ignore it). 

Choo Choo

As a landscaper, you have to be able to change direction on a dime... maybe the mulch couldn't be delivered... maybe it's raining... maybe the client didn't pay you... there are lots of reasons.  Unfortunately, telling people I'm doing one thing and then switching to something else, especially at the Marriott where there are a lot of chiefs and not enough indians, it seems to throw everyone but me into a tailspin.  And although I put in 12 hour days, the work isn't as hard as just having to explain myself to ten people that have no business knowing what I'm doing... they're just being nebby.  Since my contract outlines what I am supposed to do, I don't need to update anyone, but it's easier to pre-warn them of what I'm doing rather than have ten people ask me what the plan is, until I switch it up to be productive when I hit a wall. 

I guess the point I'm trying to get to is that, on Saturday, I thought I would be done mulching but I need another 3-5 yards to complete it... but the mulch yard was closed today, so I switched to cutting the grass today since it's going to rain tomorrow on grass-cutting day... and cut stumps down to the ground as well.  Tomorrow is supposed to be annuals planting... but we'll see.  I see the light at the end of the tunnel... but I'm hoping that it's a train and it runs me over.

Sunny Day

Last night, a few of us went over to Matt's for an impromptu dinner that he put together.  It was nice to just sit and relax a bit and talk to people that I very rarely see to catch up.  Thanks again, Matt!!

Today is the last installment of the mulch... 12 yards.  By 3:00, I should be done with this phase of the project... tomorrow, I have some odds and ends to do there, and then Monday, I am planting 60 flats of flowers.  That will take me to just maintenance mode... once a week cutting grass and manicuring, just in time to start massage at camp on the weekends from now until Halloween.  I want to be that guy that walks around with a pair of scissors that sees the one blade of grass that's sticking up and whips out the scissors and clips it.  I love Mexico for that reason... Cancun is so manicured.

Tonight, I'm supposed to go with my friend, Kim (who is also my real estate agent) to a party where she's trying to fix me up with the host.  I think I've met him in the past... but I'm very gun-shy about dating (especially guys with guns).  I'll probably just pop out for a bit for a drink.  Tomorrow is the open house on my Dad's... she has one person that is definitely coming to see it and is excited that we just dropped the price again... to $159,900.00 after starting it in the upper $170's.  It's a wake up call, that's for sure, but at this point, I'd give it away for a pack of gum just to get it off my plate.

I am slowly, but surely, reassembling my computer.  I was able to back load my 3,800 song library off my iPod back into iTunes, so that was a big weight off my shoulders. 

Pure Craziness

This is a reply back from 'stalker' on another website that I belong to that he still has contact with me after I moved my blog and he couldn't find it... (and people wonder why I had to move it):

"David, I know the rules and I'm sorry. You said it was ok to just read your blog, not comment. I had a breakdown and was an asshole with what I guess thinks is a sense of humor. Going on about burgers and coffee. I don't like to get you upset. I like knowing your smiling about something you LOVE. Like puppies. You removing your daily blog just kills me. Please come back. Just when I read that part of you in the air force. And you were going to talk about that eventually. I don't want to miss that David. I'm sorry. It's your fault. You do this to me. I can't help myself David. I'm so stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Financialy stressed, work stressed, sexually stressed and yes now even father stressed. All I want is a fucking massage to rub my neck and shoulders. Once again I'm an asshole. And yes i'm having another breakdown."

YUM ! (Beachy)

I'm feeling a little better today.  I found some disks that I had backed up pictures of Shelby, etc. in the past... so that's good... and I have my trips on there as well... two things that are most important to me.  One of the best things about the blog is that every picture that I posted, I can now go through and save back to my computer.  Still, my birthday list... my list of passwords... tax info... all gone...it's mind-boggling. 

I think it's time for some cute boys... that always takes your mind off things... and it reminds me of how much I can't wait to take my trip to Myrtle Beach soon...

10 Things I'm Tired of...

1.  Being the parent
2.  Being alone
3.  Being the strong one
4.  American Idol
5.  Bad news
6.  Being exhausted
7.  Starting over
8.  Being behind the eight ball and under the gun
9.  Top 10 lists

REBOOT of my Life

Today was surely one of those days where I shouldn't have gotten out of bed at all.  I got a trojan horse on my computer last night, but it looked like it was just one of those ads for security software, so I didn't think anything of it.  I woke up this morning not being able to get anything to come up on Internet Explorer so, after an hour on the phone with the provider and playing around with the computer, I realized that I had no choice but to reinstall Windows 7 and I lost everything.  Every file, every picture, every address, every email, every favorite, every setting... EVERYTHING.  With losing my phone and then recently having to move my blog and losing contact with a lot of readers... and now this... I feel like a whole entire part of my past has been wiped away and I'm left empty.

If you haven't backed up your computer lately (or ever), I would highly suggest that you do so immediately... 

Positive Reaffirmation

I have to disagree with this picture... for me, it is practically my whole, entire life.  But that's ok, since I have made changes to it to include the people that I want to be in it... to enjoy the things that I like to do... and do the kind of work that I am satisfied with and that fulfills me.  I've put a huge amount of time into work over the last month and a half and it's all coming to fruition.  Besides only having two or three days of prep work left to have the Marriott ready for it's audit (then I just coast on 1 day a week lawn maintenance)... but today, I was with the G.M. walking through the hotel and two people in a matter of 4 minutes came up to him and complimented him on how great the property and landscaping looked... with me standing right there (not looking like the landscaper).  It made all those 12+ hour days worth it... and was a good reaffirmation of the direction I have taken the property.  I was also helping them spruce up their buffet area. 

Quoted from the 1970's movie The Boys In The Band,  "Oh Mary, it takes a fairy to make something pretty" just about sums up my day.  Provocative, ground-breaking and shocking, it was one of the first movies to depict gay life.  Following is one of the best verbal bitch-slap in the history of movies and infamous in gay cinema.

Radically Racial?

Those Darned Kitties